(no subject)
do you ever feel that the people around you hate you and you have no idea why they would? How can a person completely stop caring about you.. when youve done nothing wrong. and just a few months ago they acted like you maybe actually meant SOMETHING to them. thats what it feels like anyways. i feel like the people around me i care about (besides my family) dont give 2 shits about me.
i find me crying myself to sleep pretty much every night and i dont know why. i guess maybe its because i feel suffocated (sp) it really hurts when there is noone here you can TRUELY count on. i feel betrayed by people and i dont know why. nothing has really happend.. except certain ppl have completely stoped talking to me. and even my "close" friends here seem to just not give a shit. not that i have many.
i dont even think i have "best" friend anymore. i mean, do those even exist? it feels like ive lost everything. i KNOW things in my life could be so much worse. and trust me, i know my life is better than others.. but i cant help that i feel this way.
i dont want to say that i'm sad, because i really dont think i am, but at the same time.. I really dont feel happy. it just seems that the only people that really actually care are my family. which is ok. but it feels horrible when there are a some people that you thought cared.. dont. i mean, i have to vent about this stuff in my freakin ONLINE JOURNAL because it seems like i cant really talk to anyone about this without feeling stupid.
i feel so completely lost in my life. i feel numb and worthless. i feel im going to end up alone for the rest of my life and sometimes i even wonder why I'm still here.
my plans never go through. i still live at home when ive been planning to move for the past 2 years. i dont even know what to do anymore. i dont even know what i could do to make myself happy or at least somewhat satisfied. i just dont know anything anymore. maybe i neve did.
my whole life the past year and a half has been one big freaking roller coaster ride. i havent seen a good outcome either. i dont even know what to type anymore.
sometimes,well ALOT of times
it's really hard to breath.
i cant even finish a meal without feeling like im going to throw it all back up.
errrrrr
i find me crying myself to sleep pretty much every night and i dont know why. i guess maybe its because i feel suffocated (sp) it really hurts when there is noone here you can TRUELY count on. i feel betrayed by people and i dont know why. nothing has really happend.. except certain ppl have completely stoped talking to me. and even my "close" friends here seem to just not give a shit. not that i have many.
i dont even think i have "best" friend anymore. i mean, do those even exist? it feels like ive lost everything. i KNOW things in my life could be so much worse. and trust me, i know my life is better than others.. but i cant help that i feel this way.
i dont want to say that i'm sad, because i really dont think i am, but at the same time.. I really dont feel happy. it just seems that the only people that really actually care are my family. which is ok. but it feels horrible when there are a some people that you thought cared.. dont. i mean, i have to vent about this stuff in my freakin ONLINE JOURNAL because it seems like i cant really talk to anyone about this without feeling stupid.
i feel so completely lost in my life. i feel numb and worthless. i feel im going to end up alone for the rest of my life and sometimes i even wonder why I'm still here.
my plans never go through. i still live at home when ive been planning to move for the past 2 years. i dont even know what to do anymore. i dont even know what i could do to make myself happy or at least somewhat satisfied. i just dont know anything anymore. maybe i neve did.
my whole life the past year and a half has been one big freaking roller coaster ride. i havent seen a good outcome either. i dont even know what to type anymore.
sometimes,well ALOT of times
it's really hard to breath.
i cant even finish a meal without feeling like im going to throw it all back up.
errrrrr