You Send Me
Title: You Send Me
Pairing: Meredith & Derek
Show: Grey's Anatomy
Timeline: Post 3.22/23 The Other Side of This Life
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Shonda Rhimes. Not Me.
Part Four
Meredith had Friday off and Alex and Izzie were still nowhere to be found. Distraught
and moody, desperate to get her mind off of how things had gone between she and Derek, she drove herself over to Joe’s. Decided to get stinking drunk, figuring she could get a ride home from someone else. For now, she just wanted to be the Meredith of Old who got trashed to forget her problems.
“Hey, Joe,” she sighed as she sauntered into the Emerald City Bar a little past one o’clock.
Her favorite bartender perked up, surprised and pleased at her arrival. “Meredith! To whom do I owe this lovely unexpected visit?”
She scoffed with a smirk, plopping down at the bar; grateful she appeared to be the only one in sight during the lunch rush. “Derek.”
Joe rose a brow. “Derek? What did McDreamy go and do this time?”
“He asked me to marry him,” Meredith muttered glumly, ignoring Joe’s hung jaw and huge eyes.
“Oh,” he quickly recovered.
“Yeah,” Meredith pouted, bridging her arms against the bar and leaning into them.
“So you obviously need a drink.”
She grinned brilliantly. “Obviously.”
~
Derek knew things weren’t going well for him when he actually wanted - and went out of his way - to speak to his mother. It just so happened that she, Nancy and Kathleen were vacationing for the week in Miami - although when Derek remembered he’d informed them of this trip over two months prior, he had to admit it was most likely more than a coincidence. At the time, Elise, his mother, had hoped he’d bring Meredith with him.
Even though he had assured her it wasn’t a social trip - and Meredith was a general surgeon, not a neuro such as himself, Elise hadn’t backed down.
So, as he waited glumly in the airport for them to announce the boarding for his flight, he pulled out his Blackberry and dialed his mother’s cell.
Nancy picked up on three rings. “Hey, loser.”
Derek rolled his eyes, running a hand down his face. “Where’s Mom?”
His older sister sucked in a sharp breath. “Well, hello to you too! You know Mom; she’s a space cadet. Shopping and didn’t want to be bothered with the ringing phone. Pawned it off on her eldest child.”
He rolled his eyes again and sighed. “Well tell her to stop spending money because her only son is on the phone.”
He heard Nancy exhale exasperatedly, a loud, annoying muffling sound going off in his ear before “Ma!” and a short pause. “Its Derek.”
Derek heard his mother’s voice but was unable to make out what she was saying. The sound of the phone being handed to her was unmistakable and then, “Der?”
“Hi, Ma.”
“You’re actually calling me for once!?” He couldn’t help but smile at the joy and shock in her voice, but it was immediately replaced with a frown. He really didn’t call her as much as he should. And considering, before he’d moved to Seattle, he had been damn near inseparable from his family - that was borderline unforgivable.
“I know, I’m sorry.”
He could literally hear her waving a hand dismissively. “Whatever. I’m just glad you called. Are you at the airport?”
“Yeah, my flight should be boarding soon.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Huh?”
He could tell by her tone she had rolled her eyes. “You don’t just call me to talk any more. What’s going on? Is it Meredith?”
He sighed at his mother’s mention of the love of his life. Last Christmas, he had finally convinced an extremely reluctant and terrified Meredith to come home with him to New York for the holidays. She had hemmed and hawed the entire time, reminding him over and over how nasty Nancy had been, how she was sure the rest of his sisters and mother felt the same way, that she could or would never be as beautiful, successful or glamorous as Addison. But Meredith, being Meredith, had naturally underestimated herself and the Shepherd clan had taken to her like white on rice. Naturally, there were a few hiccups, like the time his mother caught them having sex in the garage on Christmas Eve - there’d been a lot of people in the house and a lot of egg nog and, well, the garage was the one place where they had been sure they wouldn’t get caught. Nancy of course had been a bitch for the first week or so, but by New Years, she had finally come around. It helped that he had threatened never to return to Oyster Bay for another visit if she didn’t get over herself. Besides Nancy, however, Kathleen, Erin, and Melissa had been so wonderful to Meredith that Derek almost wasn’t certain he was actually related to them.
But his mother, who had always been strict and tough-as-nails beneath her sweet, tiny, slightly flakey brunette exterior, had loved Meredith right away. She had seen right through Meredith’s distant, aloof attitude to the reason behind it - always being or feeling rejected by family - and knew just the right way to combat that. She took Mere in and treated her like she treated all her girls - making Meredith help her cook, clean and, of course, making more than one suggestion about how she should dress, wear her hair or make-up. When Meredith had suggested to Derek that his mother didn’t like the way she looked or dressed, he dismissively waved a hand, reassuring her that it was only because his mother had four daughters and eight granddaughters - she craved any reason for making over and dressing up. One night, Elise had paraded out baby pictures of Derek and he had watched, floored, as his beautiful, nervous, anti-family girlfriend had been completely charmed by his mother and her endless supply of stories from his childhood.
When they left Long Island to finally return home to Seattle, Meredith had said matter-of-factly, with a hint of shock, “I like them.”
Maybe that was when he knew for sure he would marry her. If she could come to Long Island to his mother’s big, loud sprawling home and deal with all the kids and his nosey, noisy sisters and their annoyingly loveable husbands, she was in like flint. Even Addison hadn’t adapted as quickly and the Shepherd clan had loved her. He had never shared with his mother his desire to marry Meredith - and it wasn’t for her lack of asking, of course. She asked all the time, especially after he had told her that he was bringing her home to Long Island for the holidays. She had asked - “is that because you’re going to marry her?” And he had nervously laughed it off, changed the subject, knowing he hadn’t fooled her but also knowing she wouldn’t pry, not about that, not when she knew how painful his last marriage had ended.
But now, sitting in the airport miserable and lonely and terrified he’d lost her for good, he felt surprisingly like a little boy who wanted nothing more than to confide in and be comforted by his mother. “Yeah, its Meredith.”
Elise hesitated. “Did you two break up?”
“Not exactly.”
“D?” Her nickname for him when she was worried or concerned.
“I kind of . . . asked her to marry me last night.”
He heard his mother gasp and clap her hands in delight. “Oh! You did! How wonder-” Then, suddenly remembering the lack of enthusiasm in his tone, she calmed. “Oh. Oh. She said no?”
He groaned, ran a hand down his face. “Sort of. I don’t know. I left.”
“What?”
“It kind of slipped out. It wasn’t planned. She freaked out, because she’s Meredith and she wouldn’t be herself if she didn’t have to over-think every single change in her life, and I left.”
His mother made some terrible stuttering sound with her throat. “What? You proposed marriage and then left?”
He shrugged, his skin flushing sheepishly. “I have a conference.”
“Derek Colin Shepherd, I raised you better than that! You don’t propose marriage to a woman and then just leave!” She laughed, long and loose, easy and carefree. “I’d say no too!”
Derek felt his skin flush more. He hated when his mother referred to him by his full name. It was so - so cliché. “I told you I didn’t plan it, Ma.”
“Well, clearly! Did you at least have a ring?”
He sighed. “No. I told you - not planned. Besides, I don’t think Meredith even would want a ring. I mean, I could see her wearing one but she doesn’t now and-”
“All things you should have figured out before you popped the question, dear.”
He smiled at his mother’s blunt, honest delivery. She’d always been that way. “You think if I do it again, better, she’ll give me a better response?”
His mother laughed. “Honey, I adore the girl, but I have never pretended to understand how her mind works. You know how her mind works. What do you think?”
~
Meredith burped loudly as she shoved away her seventh shot glass, now empty, the only remnant of tequila being a thin film coating the bottom. “I think I’m done now, Joe,” she slurred, folding her elbows on top of the bar to lean her weight into them. “I have to work tomorrow.”
Joe rose a brow as he whisked the glass away and wiped down the bar in its place. “I’m going to call you a cab.”
“No!” She shouted at his back, watching him move toward the phone. The sound of the door opening behind her drew her whirling, long and sluggish, toward the door. Her head spun, swam, and everything slowed down as she saw her good pal George O’Malley mope over the threshold.
“George!” She cried, holding up her arms triumphantly.
He startled, clearly not expecting her, and rose a brow in first surprise and then amusement as he recognized the hazy look in her eyes as intoxication. “Meredith? What are you doing?”
She giggled, so happy all of a sudden she completely forgot why she’d wanted to drink in the first place. Patting the stool loudly beside her, she called after Joe, “Hold that cab, bartender! I got myself a drinkin buddy now!”
George smiled almost nervously as he took the seat beside her and quietly ordered a beer. “So . . .”
She grinned, looking over her short, quiet male friend with curiosity. His big, sad eyes were sadder than usual. Looking at the clock on the wall, she saw it was going on four in the afternoon. George drinking at this time of day definitely meant something was up. “Why are you here?” she slurred quickly, resting against the bar comfortably.
George shrugged, taking a long, slow pull from the long-necked bottle. “Bad day. You?”
She giggled again. “Derek proposed.” It was so unreal she couldn’t help but laugh a little. Drinking had definitely made it depart from Tragic Town to Chuckle City.
George’s eyes quadrupled in size. “What!? Congratulations!” And he processed her drunk and loopy before him. Celebrating? “Wait - why are you drinking again?”
She groaned, rolling her eyes. “Because Derek proposed!”
George stared at her blankly.
Meredith sighed impatiently. “He’s already been married? And ignored his wife so much she screwed his best friend! And my mother ignored my father so much he left her and me and I didn’t see him for over twenty years. And the Chief! And you and Callie-” She bit her tongue, clearly not drunk enough to completely forget tact. “Sorry,” she mumbled lamely, looking away as George stiffened slightly at the mention of his failed marriage. But he pushed the thoughts aside.
“My parents had a great marriage,” he murmured, his tone taking on a wistful note. “And even though it didn’t end the way any of us would have liked . . . I know my mother wouldn’t trade a singe moment for the pain she’s still in now. And even after Callie and Izzie . . .” He sighed, groaned bitterly, gulping down a great percentage of his beer. “I still believe in it.”
“Well I don’t,” Meredith said glumly, staring down at the bar, suddenly sad all over again. She missed Derek. She hated this. She wanted to cry. Or scream. Maybe both.
George almost scoffed. “Why?!”
Meredith rolled her eyes. “Well, for starters, he basically gave me an ultimatum. Marriage or break-up. And he proposed after we’d just had sex! I mean, who does that? I can’t tell our kids that!”
His eyes widened at that. “You refuse to even marry the guy but you’re thinking of having his kids?”
She continued, either not hearing him or purposely ignoring him. “And he does it right before he has to leave for a freaking business trip? I mean, what kind of crap is that? And there was no ring! Or one knee! No speech about love and life and . . . I mean - who proposes without a ring and a speech on one knee?”
George didn’t bother to say that, while he’d proposed with a speech on one knee, he’d neglected to get a ring right away - and the one he’d ended up giving to Callie had been the constant subject of ridicule. “Well, it doesn’t sound like he planned it very well but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he did it, does it?”
Meredith glared at him. “You’re not helping, George.”
He shrugged. “I’m sorry. I just thought you spent months weeping and whining and bitching over Shepherd and now he’s finally giving you what you wanted and still you’re weeping and whining and bitching.” He frowned slightly as he took a pull from his beer. “Sounds like you’re just making excuses to me.”
She opened her mouth to say something and then realized she had nothing to say. Clamping her mouth shut, she signaled to Joe. “So why are you here again?” When in doubt, deflect. Change the subject. You’re good at that, Meredith, she told herself.
George blew out a long, deep breath. “You know why.”
She pouted, frowned, burped. “I do?”
George nodded, taking a long, desperate drag from his beer. “Yeah.”
“Well, if I know, I’m too drunk to remember right now so care to give a girl a hint?”
He groaned, sighed, turned his head to glare at her. “Your roommates. Ring a bell?”
Her frown deepened. Roommates? Her roommates - housemates, really - were Alex and Izzie. And Alex and Izzie were - oh. “Ohhhh,” Meredith repeated softly as the realization slammed into her.
George nodded, finishing the beer and grinning with relief when Joe finally came back over to them.
“Yeah,” Meredith nodded patting her friend on the back. “We’re both going to need another drink.”
Pairing: Meredith & Derek
Show: Grey's Anatomy
Timeline: Post 3.22/23 The Other Side of This Life
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Shonda Rhimes. Not Me.
Part Four
Meredith had Friday off and Alex and Izzie were still nowhere to be found. Distraught
and moody, desperate to get her mind off of how things had gone between she and Derek, she drove herself over to Joe’s. Decided to get stinking drunk, figuring she could get a ride home from someone else. For now, she just wanted to be the Meredith of Old who got trashed to forget her problems.
“Hey, Joe,” she sighed as she sauntered into the Emerald City Bar a little past one o’clock.
Her favorite bartender perked up, surprised and pleased at her arrival. “Meredith! To whom do I owe this lovely unexpected visit?”
She scoffed with a smirk, plopping down at the bar; grateful she appeared to be the only one in sight during the lunch rush. “Derek.”
Joe rose a brow. “Derek? What did McDreamy go and do this time?”
“He asked me to marry him,” Meredith muttered glumly, ignoring Joe’s hung jaw and huge eyes.
“Oh,” he quickly recovered.
“Yeah,” Meredith pouted, bridging her arms against the bar and leaning into them.
“So you obviously need a drink.”
She grinned brilliantly. “Obviously.”
~
Derek knew things weren’t going well for him when he actually wanted - and went out of his way - to speak to his mother. It just so happened that she, Nancy and Kathleen were vacationing for the week in Miami - although when Derek remembered he’d informed them of this trip over two months prior, he had to admit it was most likely more than a coincidence. At the time, Elise, his mother, had hoped he’d bring Meredith with him.
Even though he had assured her it wasn’t a social trip - and Meredith was a general surgeon, not a neuro such as himself, Elise hadn’t backed down.
So, as he waited glumly in the airport for them to announce the boarding for his flight, he pulled out his Blackberry and dialed his mother’s cell.
Nancy picked up on three rings. “Hey, loser.”
Derek rolled his eyes, running a hand down his face. “Where’s Mom?”
His older sister sucked in a sharp breath. “Well, hello to you too! You know Mom; she’s a space cadet. Shopping and didn’t want to be bothered with the ringing phone. Pawned it off on her eldest child.”
He rolled his eyes again and sighed. “Well tell her to stop spending money because her only son is on the phone.”
He heard Nancy exhale exasperatedly, a loud, annoying muffling sound going off in his ear before “Ma!” and a short pause. “Its Derek.”
Derek heard his mother’s voice but was unable to make out what she was saying. The sound of the phone being handed to her was unmistakable and then, “Der?”
“Hi, Ma.”
“You’re actually calling me for once!?” He couldn’t help but smile at the joy and shock in her voice, but it was immediately replaced with a frown. He really didn’t call her as much as he should. And considering, before he’d moved to Seattle, he had been damn near inseparable from his family - that was borderline unforgivable.
“I know, I’m sorry.”
He could literally hear her waving a hand dismissively. “Whatever. I’m just glad you called. Are you at the airport?”
“Yeah, my flight should be boarding soon.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Huh?”
He could tell by her tone she had rolled her eyes. “You don’t just call me to talk any more. What’s going on? Is it Meredith?”
He sighed at his mother’s mention of the love of his life. Last Christmas, he had finally convinced an extremely reluctant and terrified Meredith to come home with him to New York for the holidays. She had hemmed and hawed the entire time, reminding him over and over how nasty Nancy had been, how she was sure the rest of his sisters and mother felt the same way, that she could or would never be as beautiful, successful or glamorous as Addison. But Meredith, being Meredith, had naturally underestimated herself and the Shepherd clan had taken to her like white on rice. Naturally, there were a few hiccups, like the time his mother caught them having sex in the garage on Christmas Eve - there’d been a lot of people in the house and a lot of egg nog and, well, the garage was the one place where they had been sure they wouldn’t get caught. Nancy of course had been a bitch for the first week or so, but by New Years, she had finally come around. It helped that he had threatened never to return to Oyster Bay for another visit if she didn’t get over herself. Besides Nancy, however, Kathleen, Erin, and Melissa had been so wonderful to Meredith that Derek almost wasn’t certain he was actually related to them.
But his mother, who had always been strict and tough-as-nails beneath her sweet, tiny, slightly flakey brunette exterior, had loved Meredith right away. She had seen right through Meredith’s distant, aloof attitude to the reason behind it - always being or feeling rejected by family - and knew just the right way to combat that. She took Mere in and treated her like she treated all her girls - making Meredith help her cook, clean and, of course, making more than one suggestion about how she should dress, wear her hair or make-up. When Meredith had suggested to Derek that his mother didn’t like the way she looked or dressed, he dismissively waved a hand, reassuring her that it was only because his mother had four daughters and eight granddaughters - she craved any reason for making over and dressing up. One night, Elise had paraded out baby pictures of Derek and he had watched, floored, as his beautiful, nervous, anti-family girlfriend had been completely charmed by his mother and her endless supply of stories from his childhood.
When they left Long Island to finally return home to Seattle, Meredith had said matter-of-factly, with a hint of shock, “I like them.”
Maybe that was when he knew for sure he would marry her. If she could come to Long Island to his mother’s big, loud sprawling home and deal with all the kids and his nosey, noisy sisters and their annoyingly loveable husbands, she was in like flint. Even Addison hadn’t adapted as quickly and the Shepherd clan had loved her. He had never shared with his mother his desire to marry Meredith - and it wasn’t for her lack of asking, of course. She asked all the time, especially after he had told her that he was bringing her home to Long Island for the holidays. She had asked - “is that because you’re going to marry her?” And he had nervously laughed it off, changed the subject, knowing he hadn’t fooled her but also knowing she wouldn’t pry, not about that, not when she knew how painful his last marriage had ended.
But now, sitting in the airport miserable and lonely and terrified he’d lost her for good, he felt surprisingly like a little boy who wanted nothing more than to confide in and be comforted by his mother. “Yeah, its Meredith.”
Elise hesitated. “Did you two break up?”
“Not exactly.”
“D?” Her nickname for him when she was worried or concerned.
“I kind of . . . asked her to marry me last night.”
He heard his mother gasp and clap her hands in delight. “Oh! You did! How wonder-” Then, suddenly remembering the lack of enthusiasm in his tone, she calmed. “Oh. Oh. She said no?”
He groaned, ran a hand down his face. “Sort of. I don’t know. I left.”
“What?”
“It kind of slipped out. It wasn’t planned. She freaked out, because she’s Meredith and she wouldn’t be herself if she didn’t have to over-think every single change in her life, and I left.”
His mother made some terrible stuttering sound with her throat. “What? You proposed marriage and then left?”
He shrugged, his skin flushing sheepishly. “I have a conference.”
“Derek Colin Shepherd, I raised you better than that! You don’t propose marriage to a woman and then just leave!” She laughed, long and loose, easy and carefree. “I’d say no too!”
Derek felt his skin flush more. He hated when his mother referred to him by his full name. It was so - so cliché. “I told you I didn’t plan it, Ma.”
“Well, clearly! Did you at least have a ring?”
He sighed. “No. I told you - not planned. Besides, I don’t think Meredith even would want a ring. I mean, I could see her wearing one but she doesn’t now and-”
“All things you should have figured out before you popped the question, dear.”
He smiled at his mother’s blunt, honest delivery. She’d always been that way. “You think if I do it again, better, she’ll give me a better response?”
His mother laughed. “Honey, I adore the girl, but I have never pretended to understand how her mind works. You know how her mind works. What do you think?”
~
Meredith burped loudly as she shoved away her seventh shot glass, now empty, the only remnant of tequila being a thin film coating the bottom. “I think I’m done now, Joe,” she slurred, folding her elbows on top of the bar to lean her weight into them. “I have to work tomorrow.”
Joe rose a brow as he whisked the glass away and wiped down the bar in its place. “I’m going to call you a cab.”
“No!” She shouted at his back, watching him move toward the phone. The sound of the door opening behind her drew her whirling, long and sluggish, toward the door. Her head spun, swam, and everything slowed down as she saw her good pal George O’Malley mope over the threshold.
“George!” She cried, holding up her arms triumphantly.
He startled, clearly not expecting her, and rose a brow in first surprise and then amusement as he recognized the hazy look in her eyes as intoxication. “Meredith? What are you doing?”
She giggled, so happy all of a sudden she completely forgot why she’d wanted to drink in the first place. Patting the stool loudly beside her, she called after Joe, “Hold that cab, bartender! I got myself a drinkin buddy now!”
George smiled almost nervously as he took the seat beside her and quietly ordered a beer. “So . . .”
She grinned, looking over her short, quiet male friend with curiosity. His big, sad eyes were sadder than usual. Looking at the clock on the wall, she saw it was going on four in the afternoon. George drinking at this time of day definitely meant something was up. “Why are you here?” she slurred quickly, resting against the bar comfortably.
George shrugged, taking a long, slow pull from the long-necked bottle. “Bad day. You?”
She giggled again. “Derek proposed.” It was so unreal she couldn’t help but laugh a little. Drinking had definitely made it depart from Tragic Town to Chuckle City.
George’s eyes quadrupled in size. “What!? Congratulations!” And he processed her drunk and loopy before him. Celebrating? “Wait - why are you drinking again?”
She groaned, rolling her eyes. “Because Derek proposed!”
George stared at her blankly.
Meredith sighed impatiently. “He’s already been married? And ignored his wife so much she screwed his best friend! And my mother ignored my father so much he left her and me and I didn’t see him for over twenty years. And the Chief! And you and Callie-” She bit her tongue, clearly not drunk enough to completely forget tact. “Sorry,” she mumbled lamely, looking away as George stiffened slightly at the mention of his failed marriage. But he pushed the thoughts aside.
“My parents had a great marriage,” he murmured, his tone taking on a wistful note. “And even though it didn’t end the way any of us would have liked . . . I know my mother wouldn’t trade a singe moment for the pain she’s still in now. And even after Callie and Izzie . . .” He sighed, groaned bitterly, gulping down a great percentage of his beer. “I still believe in it.”
“Well I don’t,” Meredith said glumly, staring down at the bar, suddenly sad all over again. She missed Derek. She hated this. She wanted to cry. Or scream. Maybe both.
George almost scoffed. “Why?!”
Meredith rolled her eyes. “Well, for starters, he basically gave me an ultimatum. Marriage or break-up. And he proposed after we’d just had sex! I mean, who does that? I can’t tell our kids that!”
His eyes widened at that. “You refuse to even marry the guy but you’re thinking of having his kids?”
She continued, either not hearing him or purposely ignoring him. “And he does it right before he has to leave for a freaking business trip? I mean, what kind of crap is that? And there was no ring! Or one knee! No speech about love and life and . . . I mean - who proposes without a ring and a speech on one knee?”
George didn’t bother to say that, while he’d proposed with a speech on one knee, he’d neglected to get a ring right away - and the one he’d ended up giving to Callie had been the constant subject of ridicule. “Well, it doesn’t sound like he planned it very well but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he did it, does it?”
Meredith glared at him. “You’re not helping, George.”
He shrugged. “I’m sorry. I just thought you spent months weeping and whining and bitching over Shepherd and now he’s finally giving you what you wanted and still you’re weeping and whining and bitching.” He frowned slightly as he took a pull from his beer. “Sounds like you’re just making excuses to me.”
She opened her mouth to say something and then realized she had nothing to say. Clamping her mouth shut, she signaled to Joe. “So why are you here again?” When in doubt, deflect. Change the subject. You’re good at that, Meredith, she told herself.
George blew out a long, deep breath. “You know why.”
She pouted, frowned, burped. “I do?”
George nodded, taking a long, desperate drag from his beer. “Yeah.”
“Well, if I know, I’m too drunk to remember right now so care to give a girl a hint?”
He groaned, sighed, turned his head to glare at her. “Your roommates. Ring a bell?”
Her frown deepened. Roommates? Her roommates - housemates, really - were Alex and Izzie. And Alex and Izzie were - oh. “Ohhhh,” Meredith repeated softly as the realization slammed into her.
George nodded, finishing the beer and grinning with relief when Joe finally came back over to them.
“Yeah,” Meredith nodded patting her friend on the back. “We’re both going to need another drink.”