Writing action scenes
Hello, it's my mod discussion day and I decided to look at action scenes.
Actions scenes are like writing sex scenes, they need choreography.
There are a few things to note when you write one.
1. Description and Focus: usually action scenes involve a lot of description, so you need to see whatever is unfolding in a sharp, focused fashion. Close your eyes while writing and get deeper than the first lines that come to your head. I find it helpful to see it as an action movie. In fact, if you have trouble with a dramatic scene, go watch a great action DVD, or read a story which had it nailed. It will help pick up your heart rate.
2. Tempo and Emotion: usually action scenes speed up as things unfold. I sometimes find chaotic language and choppy punctuation helpful as things climax, as long as it's not William Shatner over-the-top--and the emotions of my protagonists should parallel an important action scene. Remember that description and action should reveal character and feeling, so don't drop off your character's emotions and pick them up before and after the action sequence.
3. Logical Movement: if your heroine is sitting down at one point, show us how she got to her feet and backhanded the villain.
4. Annie, Get your Gun: what are the props? What is the setting? You really need to know what the dirt on Mars feels like when your heroine slams into it. If someone is using a gun, what kind? How often does it fire? Is it modified? Legal? Research.
This is from lit_gal's superlative gen The Sentinel fan fic Shadows of the Past. The Sentinel lends itself to great action sequences as the partners are cops. Also, they share a caring friendship, which offers a lot of opportunities for feeling during action sequences as shown here when Jim takes out two killers to protect Blair.
Now Jim saw a shadow, a dark, muted blur against the dark shiny surface of the machine. Jim forced his cold and trembling limbs to move faster as the man crept along the side of the helicopter, his weapon held straight down against his leg. The man's steady sweeping gaze suggested the darkness didn't bother him, and as the agent's head turned, Jim spotted the deformed profile, eyes and nose squared off by the goggles over his face.
Jim knew that equipment cut off peripheral vision, but he also knew that the minute the man's sweeping gaze turned toward him, he would appear a hot white silhouette in the dark. Launching himself forward, he sprinted toward the man silently in the dim light reaching the man just as those all-seeing eyes turned toward him.
The agent took a startled, awkward step backwards, raising his weapon at the same time, but Jim grabbed the man by the neck and slammed his head into the side of the helicopter hard enough to stun him. The body went instantly lax so that when Jim grabbed the weapon and let go of the man, he slid to the ground. Jim quickly knelt and grabbed for the back of the man's belt where he would keep extra ammo, finding what he needed with his fingers while still watching the side of the helicopter.
"Campbell?" a quiet voice hissed, and Jim wished he hadn't heard the name. He didn't want to know whose heartbeat now skipped dangerously as the body lay still in the grass. The second man didn't make the mistake of instantly coming out after his partner, but Jim heard the door on the far side of the helicopter snick open. Jim dropped to the ground, using the unconscious body as a shield as he sighted his weapon.
The man's head appeared as he leaned out the bottom of the helicopter, his gun visible as a gleam in the moonlight, his arm blocking a clean shot to the head. Jim sighted down his weapon and waited. The man carefully turned, his face distorted by another chunky pair of goggles. As his head turned, his gun suddenly snapped to the figure in the grass and fired while at the same time, Jim pulled the trigger on his stolen gun. He hit the agent between the eyes and heard the thick heat sensitive equipment in those glasses shatter at the same time the body in front of him jerked at the impact of the bullet.
The smell of blood nearly choked Jim as he stood up and staggered back away from the heavy, brackish scent of the two bodies. He could hear one heartbeat still struggle with an irregular beat, and his guilt at taking yet another life rose a fraction. Well, it did until Jim considered that these same men wanted to kill Blair. They sat in the field hoping for a chance to kill or capture his guide, and Jim suddenly felt a fury rise up as he looked down at the dying beast at his feet. Wordlessly, he brought the gun up slightly so that it pointed at the prey. Jim could feel his arm tremble in the cold as he tightened his finger around the trigger.
"Jim?" a quiet voice called. Jim spun around and spotted Blair crouching down at the base of one of the trees at the edge of the clearing, his blind eyes searched the field randomly, and the sight of Blair so defenseless turned the dying man at his feet into a trivial annoyance not worth the bullet. He started across the field to his partner.
This is a short excerpt from a story I took down some time ago called Man Hunter. Here the agent has lost his son to the serial killer he's pursuing. The story peels back the layers of the protagonist who at first seems a very square FBI agent but as the story shoves him around, he transforms. I show that with action:
Liam could actually see it now. A red mist threading through the cool mountain air, like the trail of blood through water. Jack's trail. It seemed to glimmer like a dark fairy trail amid the trees and brush, leading him higher.
...
He heard the report of a rifle. The yell of someone below.
Jack had picked off another agent.
His hands balled.
He'd spent years suppressing his instincts but his father was right: if he wanted to bring Jack down then he had to give into the monster.
He had to become a Man Hunter again.
...
A branch exploded next to his head.
Jack. Shooting at him.
Liam ran up the rise, unafraid, almost ready to tear into flesh with his bare hands.
The rifle struck him, hitting his lower body before falling aside into the bushes.
Ahead he saw the flash of pale skin. Jack's puffs of white breath gusted frantic just ahead on the trail.
The branches and tangle of thorns hit Liam's face. It didn't matter. He was the hunter.
The muffled light through the mist made his chase surreal, flashlight swinging staccato.
He pushed himself, pushed himself, knowing that if he didn't catch Jack, he'd kill again.
His son. NO!
He saw Jack leap over a fallen tree and then he leaped a heartbeat later.
Down jacket. Dark eyes. Frightened eyes.
Jack was frightened!
Liam snarled, hungry for the taste of blood in his mouth, the feel of limbs breaking under his hands.
Catch. Subdue. KILL.
He saw a break in the tree line and growled hate.
NO!
Jack slammed the door of his truck, looking back in triumph at the beast with clawed hands who pursued him from the woods.
Then his wheels spun and the vehicle leaped away, careening crazily up one of the uncharted dirt roads.
Gone.
lit_gal told me she wasn't sure she could explain her method for writing action scenes since it's so instinctive. It's true, it's easier sometimes to just watch it play out...in action.
Actions scenes are like writing sex scenes, they need choreography.
There are a few things to note when you write one.
1. Description and Focus: usually action scenes involve a lot of description, so you need to see whatever is unfolding in a sharp, focused fashion. Close your eyes while writing and get deeper than the first lines that come to your head. I find it helpful to see it as an action movie. In fact, if you have trouble with a dramatic scene, go watch a great action DVD, or read a story which had it nailed. It will help pick up your heart rate.
2. Tempo and Emotion: usually action scenes speed up as things unfold. I sometimes find chaotic language and choppy punctuation helpful as things climax, as long as it's not William Shatner over-the-top--and the emotions of my protagonists should parallel an important action scene. Remember that description and action should reveal character and feeling, so don't drop off your character's emotions and pick them up before and after the action sequence.
3. Logical Movement: if your heroine is sitting down at one point, show us how she got to her feet and backhanded the villain.
4. Annie, Get your Gun: what are the props? What is the setting? You really need to know what the dirt on Mars feels like when your heroine slams into it. If someone is using a gun, what kind? How often does it fire? Is it modified? Legal? Research.
This is from lit_gal's superlative gen The Sentinel fan fic Shadows of the Past. The Sentinel lends itself to great action sequences as the partners are cops. Also, they share a caring friendship, which offers a lot of opportunities for feeling during action sequences as shown here when Jim takes out two killers to protect Blair.
Now Jim saw a shadow, a dark, muted blur against the dark shiny surface of the machine. Jim forced his cold and trembling limbs to move faster as the man crept along the side of the helicopter, his weapon held straight down against his leg. The man's steady sweeping gaze suggested the darkness didn't bother him, and as the agent's head turned, Jim spotted the deformed profile, eyes and nose squared off by the goggles over his face.
Jim knew that equipment cut off peripheral vision, but he also knew that the minute the man's sweeping gaze turned toward him, he would appear a hot white silhouette in the dark. Launching himself forward, he sprinted toward the man silently in the dim light reaching the man just as those all-seeing eyes turned toward him.
The agent took a startled, awkward step backwards, raising his weapon at the same time, but Jim grabbed the man by the neck and slammed his head into the side of the helicopter hard enough to stun him. The body went instantly lax so that when Jim grabbed the weapon and let go of the man, he slid to the ground. Jim quickly knelt and grabbed for the back of the man's belt where he would keep extra ammo, finding what he needed with his fingers while still watching the side of the helicopter.
"Campbell?" a quiet voice hissed, and Jim wished he hadn't heard the name. He didn't want to know whose heartbeat now skipped dangerously as the body lay still in the grass. The second man didn't make the mistake of instantly coming out after his partner, but Jim heard the door on the far side of the helicopter snick open. Jim dropped to the ground, using the unconscious body as a shield as he sighted his weapon.
The man's head appeared as he leaned out the bottom of the helicopter, his gun visible as a gleam in the moonlight, his arm blocking a clean shot to the head. Jim sighted down his weapon and waited. The man carefully turned, his face distorted by another chunky pair of goggles. As his head turned, his gun suddenly snapped to the figure in the grass and fired while at the same time, Jim pulled the trigger on his stolen gun. He hit the agent between the eyes and heard the thick heat sensitive equipment in those glasses shatter at the same time the body in front of him jerked at the impact of the bullet.
The smell of blood nearly choked Jim as he stood up and staggered back away from the heavy, brackish scent of the two bodies. He could hear one heartbeat still struggle with an irregular beat, and his guilt at taking yet another life rose a fraction. Well, it did until Jim considered that these same men wanted to kill Blair. They sat in the field hoping for a chance to kill or capture his guide, and Jim suddenly felt a fury rise up as he looked down at the dying beast at his feet. Wordlessly, he brought the gun up slightly so that it pointed at the prey. Jim could feel his arm tremble in the cold as he tightened his finger around the trigger.
"Jim?" a quiet voice called. Jim spun around and spotted Blair crouching down at the base of one of the trees at the edge of the clearing, his blind eyes searched the field randomly, and the sight of Blair so defenseless turned the dying man at his feet into a trivial annoyance not worth the bullet. He started across the field to his partner.
This is a short excerpt from a story I took down some time ago called Man Hunter. Here the agent has lost his son to the serial killer he's pursuing. The story peels back the layers of the protagonist who at first seems a very square FBI agent but as the story shoves him around, he transforms. I show that with action:
Liam could actually see it now. A red mist threading through the cool mountain air, like the trail of blood through water. Jack's trail. It seemed to glimmer like a dark fairy trail amid the trees and brush, leading him higher.
...
He heard the report of a rifle. The yell of someone below.
Jack had picked off another agent.
His hands balled.
He'd spent years suppressing his instincts but his father was right: if he wanted to bring Jack down then he had to give into the monster.
He had to become a Man Hunter again.
...
A branch exploded next to his head.
Jack. Shooting at him.
Liam ran up the rise, unafraid, almost ready to tear into flesh with his bare hands.
The rifle struck him, hitting his lower body before falling aside into the bushes.
Ahead he saw the flash of pale skin. Jack's puffs of white breath gusted frantic just ahead on the trail.
The branches and tangle of thorns hit Liam's face. It didn't matter. He was the hunter.
The muffled light through the mist made his chase surreal, flashlight swinging staccato.
He pushed himself, pushed himself, knowing that if he didn't catch Jack, he'd kill again.
His son. NO!
He saw Jack leap over a fallen tree and then he leaped a heartbeat later.
Down jacket. Dark eyes. Frightened eyes.
Jack was frightened!
Liam snarled, hungry for the taste of blood in his mouth, the feel of limbs breaking under his hands.
Catch. Subdue. KILL.
He saw a break in the tree line and growled hate.
NO!
Jack slammed the door of his truck, looking back in triumph at the beast with clawed hands who pursued him from the woods.
Then his wheels spun and the vehicle leaped away, careening crazily up one of the uncharted dirt roads.
Gone.
lit_gal told me she wasn't sure she could explain her method for writing action scenes since it's so instinctive. It's true, it's easier sometimes to just watch it play out...in action.