I've been way too emotionally stable lately ...
I'm listening to "Lovely Day" by Bill Withers from the Roll Bounce soundtrack that Mike asked me to get for him. One night after a long hard night of stocking, Mike was playing this song and singing along in his car after him, Jeff, and I had breakfast and smoked at Jeff's, and was saying "it really is a lovely day." The sun was out, and we were just chillin', even though our night was rough. It was a lovely day, in all actuality. This has me getting a little sad leaving. I didn't think I would feel any sort of attachment to this town, and maybe I'm just emotional from pot, but I'm really gonna miss Mike and Jeff.
The other day, one of the new guys that's turning out to be pretty good was telling me that Matt was talking to him and saying that on the scale of how he envisions good employees, I'm the closest to being the model employee. Though I bitch about the job, it's the kind of job you kinda bond with people because you have to work together to get done quickly and efficiently. I could definitely see myself, if I were a different person, settling into this job and quickly rising up into management. I know if I said I was going to stay, I could definitely be in a management position by the end of summer, if not sooner. But, that's not what I want for myself, and so I must say goodbye to them. And another passed opportunity.
And it's actually harder than I thought it was going to be. Damn emotions. Why do they have to pop up at the poopiest times.
And now I'm getting scared again. I get excited for the move. But more, I'm getting scared. I'm throwing myself back into uncertainties. Even worse this time. No job, no secure home, only a series of favors and safety nets. This is a much shakier situation than the move to Omaha. Two more days.
I'm throwing myself into the Universe with nothing more than faith that I'm going to land on my feet.
I could really use a hug right now. :/
The other day, one of the new guys that's turning out to be pretty good was telling me that Matt was talking to him and saying that on the scale of how he envisions good employees, I'm the closest to being the model employee. Though I bitch about the job, it's the kind of job you kinda bond with people because you have to work together to get done quickly and efficiently. I could definitely see myself, if I were a different person, settling into this job and quickly rising up into management. I know if I said I was going to stay, I could definitely be in a management position by the end of summer, if not sooner. But, that's not what I want for myself, and so I must say goodbye to them. And another passed opportunity.
And it's actually harder than I thought it was going to be. Damn emotions. Why do they have to pop up at the poopiest times.
And now I'm getting scared again. I get excited for the move. But more, I'm getting scared. I'm throwing myself back into uncertainties. Even worse this time. No job, no secure home, only a series of favors and safety nets. This is a much shakier situation than the move to Omaha. Two more days.
I'm throwing myself into the Universe with nothing more than faith that I'm going to land on my feet.
I could really use a hug right now. :/