Da Lauren.
Now now. This ain't a bitch post. (Yes, all of you. Gasp, marvel in amazement. He can make posts not involving bitchiness!) *Ahem* But anyways, lets get start..
Da Lauren! Yesh!..or better known to the rest of her friends as Wren, either way..I call her Lauren. Dun ask why, but I do. So nyah. She's a friend of mine...one of the few friends of mine, actually. I don't have many of them nowadays..barely any actually, so course this makes da Lauren all the more valuable.
I would like to start off by saying, very well infact..she's one of the nicest people I have ever really "known." For years, infact. BUT! That's not what this is about, really. In all truth, I could ramble on and on bout why she's nice and how she's a smart (assed) person in general.
Yet, again..that's not what this is about. She taught me something the other night, you could say. She..relived or rather; revisited a rather..distinct and painful memory of part of her life. Course, that I won't go into on WHAT she relived..so for those of you whom are indeed wondering "what memory?" Keep wondering. I ain't spilling it...but..she taught me something. Oh yes she did indeed.
You may of and or may of not read the likes of my lil "destiny" post. For those of you who did..well...I was finally shown_my_destiny. My fate. My karma. She taught me this..may of been rather unintentionally, but she did.
I was put here, on this god forsaken hunk of rock called earth...to help. Simple and yet..complicated at the same time. When she relived that painful memory..and bolt (Rather, clung) to me in the MSN IM..and very well explain what was wrong. I couldn't really help it, overall..this I know..after all, we're states away, ne? But still...I couldn't help..but to try and help her. Least a little bit.
The pain I knew she was in at the time..and very well, the pain I was in that I couldn't be there in person to help her...well....it can't be put into words. It was numbness. She didn't have to explain everything to me that night, not really actually. But overall, I knew what was the matter..and what she was going through, so thus..it caused pain..undeniable pain to know that I couldn't help someone I cared for. Not to be there for that person when all they need is just someone to vent on and cuddle them better.
It's been said, by most people I know and whom know me..that it's seems so natural to me. To be the outcast..but..when the time comes, to be the one to pik them up..brush them off and push em off to try again. And it hurts. Yes...it hurts..knowing I canna do that for this friend of mine. She deserves it; through all she's been through? She deserves it. To have someone not look at her and tell her to get over it and move on. She deserves someone to just smile..hand her a good sized tub of ice cream..and then to cuddle her better.
I try though. From the distance of course, I do try as best I can. I'm not..exactly sure if it helps at all, but at least i'm able to say I tried my damnedest to help. I do wish for you to know something however Lauren. And you know every word of it will be true; you've known me for a good long assed time to know it's true..
I will always be there for you, hun. Whether it over this godforsaken internet, in person or in spirit, I will be there for you when you just need someone to vent on and cuddle you better.
I promise that to you, as a friend. I will be there for you when you need me.
Ja.