Freedom
So I gained a new friend recently. Its really nice to have people to talk to and people that understand. Its what we all look for, understanding. It is a great feeling. So great in fact that it brought about a whole new sense of comfortableness. Its so easy to get caught up in the ho-hum of life. The little things that get you down or up. To be so easily affected by other forces in your life that you forget to keep in mind yourself. Well today I thought about my life. No its not perfect. I work obsessivly, I have to give up going to school for awhile again, I have few friends in the town I live in, I don't have enough money to actually do anything, I spend way too much time on the computer, and I'm lonely most of the time. Not really all that promising. Its enough to make almost anyone depressed. But as I thought a song popped into my head. Its by Gavin Dregraw, heres a piece of it:
Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from
I don't wanna be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't wanna be anything other than me
I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned
Can I have everyone's attention please?
If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain
The crust of creation
My whole situation-made from clay to stone
And now I'm telling everybody
I don't wanna be
Anything other that what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't wanna be anything other than me
It just kinda hit me. I am a preachers kid, I'm a kitchen associates kid. I've never been embarrassed by my parents. I come from a couple different states. I may hate that I can't afford school, but I know that I will get there someday. Its all a part of where I'm going. And I'm okay with that. Annoying? yes. But thats life. And I am who I am I am not going to change for someone who wants to control me and won't compromise themselves. Either accept me for me or good bye. So liberating.