Dreaming the Wolf - Chapters 2 and 3
Chapter 2
“There will be time; there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet…”
T.S. Eliot, “The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock”
Chloe opened her eyes at 9AM to a gray day. She hated gray days. Today promised to be no different because today would be the day that she stopped being a coward and told Clark. Chloe squared her shoulders and put on the face that was so familiar to everyone in town. She expected her day to go downhill. It was how these things went. It was an inevitability. So when she walked into the Talon at 2PM, she was only mildly surprised that Clark hadn’t shown and instead was greeted with the brash countenance of her cousin.
Chloe’s first shift into the wolf had been two months ago and since then she’d been avoiding the Talon. Hell, she was avoiding everything. The likelihood that someone could figure out that something was wildly different with her was dramatically reduced. And to tell the truth, she didn’t particularly want to deal with the crap that came with dealing with Lois, Lana, Clark or the many good citizens of Smallville.
Those first few hours and days were the hardest. She didn’t even have a little control and there was no doubt in her mind that she’d nut out and start eviscerating people. She could deal with the loneliness, but the thought of such a loss of control was something that would undo her completely. But there was an even more primal and truthful reason. She was afraid. Luthor had done something. Before she was kidnapped and lost time, before she had Clark remove the tracking device she was just Chloe. And now she was…something else. Meteor rocks were able to do many things, but give the ability to become a wolf? A creature straight out of legend? Something more had to have occurred.
Chloe was forcibly brought back to the situation at hand when Lois called out her name. From across the room. As much as Chloe knew she loved Lois and as much as Lois loved her, the girl was more often than not too abrasive to be a functioning member of a community. On the best of days, Chloe had a dominant personality. With the wolf? Her dominant personality was enhanced to the nth degree. Chloe knew that if Lois was persistent and her normal self, things would get ugly. So it was with great reluctance that she joined Lois.
“Hey, Chloe. It’s been awhile. Clark said he’d be meeting you and I decided to make it a threesome. Here’s your coffee and I got you a chocolate chip muffin.” Lois’ eyes narrowed and the unmistakable gleam of intrigued calculation settled upon her features.
“It hasn’t been so long, Lois. You were just at my apartment a week ago. And I think I’ll just have water without the muffin, but thanks.”
It was in that denial that Lois knew with absolute certainty that something was very wrong with Chloe. Chloe loved coffee and she loved chocolate chip muffins. On top of that, Chloe had been avoiding everyone. Lois had been to Chloe’s apartment and it was what made her begin to think something was off with her cousin. When Lois had time to really think about the changes in her cousin’s apartment, it had freaked her out. Chloe had labeled almost everything…mainly colors. Her fridge was filled to the brim with meat and meat products. Lois didn’t think Chloe would buy into the extreme low carb, high protein diet, but the fridge doesn’t lie.
Lois looked at Chloe. Really and truly looked at her and she didn’t like what she saw. Chloe was thinner. Lois had noticed that every time someone dropped something or set a cup down none too gently, Chloe winced. She noticed that Chloe was still. Too still. And for some reason she was still wearing her sunglasses. Chloe never did that.
“Chloe, something is off with you and you’re gonna tell me what. And don’t give me that song and dance about how everything is fine and that you’re fine. I know it isn’t true. You’ve been avoiding your friends, you’re not drinking coffee or eating this muffin, your fridge looks like a butcher stocked it, and I go to your apartment and you’ve got colored labels on everything. So go ahead and tell me just how fine and normal that is. Just know that it’s a load of bullshit and I ain’t buying it!”
Chloe felt her hackles rise. She could feel the heat steal down her spine and she knew that her eyes were gold. She also didn’t know what to do. Lois was her family. She smelled like home. She smelled safe and she wanted nothing more than to bury her nose in Lois’ hair so she wouldn’t feel alone. Chloe wanted to be close to Lois and she was both hurt and angered at Lois’ outburst. Chloe wanted Lois to submit but she also wanted the comfort that only Lois could give since she was family. But more than that, Chloe didn’t know what she would do if Lois rejected her…if Lois didn’t believe her. Chloe wanted so much to bury herself in something that wasn’t foreign. The Talon was foreign. It was too loud…too bright. And even though her apartment smelled like her, it too was foreign. A wolf’s den was cozy. It was compact. But her apartment wasn’t. It was so…empty.
“Yeah, Lois, I’m a werewolf. A real, honest to goodness, furry, straight out of legend werewolf. My apartment has color labels on everything because a day or so after I shift into the wolf I’m color blind. You’ll never understand just how freaked out and depressed I was when I woke to grays. Everything! Gray! My fridge has been stocked by a butcher because I’m never full unless I’ve eaten meat. I can’t get enough of it and if it’s anything cooked more than medium rare I don’t want it. It gets better after I shift, but the craving is still there. I haven’t come to the Talon because the coffee bean smell is so overwhelming that I get dizzy and I can’t find my bearings. It gives me headaches. I’m not drinking that coffee because it’s too bitter without sugar and far too sweet with sugar. It wreaks havoc with my taste buds. And dogs and chocolate are two very unmixy things. But to make my life so much more interesting, I haven’t had my monthly cycle in two months and I’m deathly afraid that I’m gonna go into heat! And I don’t know the hows or whys!” No matter how much Chloe wanted to say all those things she couldn’t because she still didn’t understand herself. How could she even begin to explain it to Lois?
“Lois, I understand that in our profession dramatizing the mundane is a necessary skill but you’re being overly emotional.” Chloe really had to sell her irritation so she removed her sunglasses and rolled her eyes for good measure. “I was going through some old things and I found a labeler and I was bored and hyper. The end result was a massive label spree. I’ve been too lazy to remove them and I figured it added an extra sense of whimsy that my apartment had been lacking. As for the meat thing, well, ya got me there. I guess I was hungry when I went to the store. I’ve learned my lesson, scout’s honor.”
Chloe had been about to continue but the sound of Lois clapping interrupted her, “Oh, you are good, Chloe, very very good. I never really and truly appreciated your talents because, hey, we’re family and you’ve never played me. So let me guess. You aren’t drinking coffee right now because you’ve decided that Uncle Gabe is right and you drink far too much of it. And you won’t eat the muffin because you aren’t hungry. Reasonable answers. Ya even got your little aura of irritation going. I mean, bravo! Whoever said you couldn’t be subtle has clearly been fooled. But I know you. I realize that my mouth gets in the way of many of the more salient aspects of life, but I’m not an idiot and you can’t play me. So I’ll leave you alone… for now. In the meantime, how about we wait for Clark? That boy can nag on the hour every hour, but he can never seem to actually be on time.”
Chloe realized three things. First, Lois wasn’t an idiot and she had been treating her like one. Second, Lois was gonna dig until she found the big weird bone that was Chloe’s secret. Third, Chloe had to put more effort into not acting like she was acting if Lois was to be fooled. Before Chloe had a chance to offer a rejoinder, she caught whiff of Clark. It was like she had been doused with a bucket of cold water in zero degree weather.
“Lois, I’m going to the restroom. Be right back,” Chloe beat a hasty retreat, but the feeling of Lois’ eyes burning a hole in her back kept her from running…barely. In the split second it took for Chloe to say she was going to the restroom and her departure, Lois noticed a few things. Chloe moved fast and fluid. Chloe wasn’t a gangly albatross, but she moved like she had no bones in her body. It should not have been possible. More importantly Lois noticed Clark looking very confused. “Why would she run from Clark?” Despite the oddity, Lois decided to occupy the farm boy until she could properly corner Chloe later.
When Chloe reached the relative safety of the restroom, she locked the door. She ran to the mirror and saw the panicked expression on her own face. It scared her that she could so easily see the distress so she closed her eyes.
“Why did I run? I called Clark. He can help me.”
“But will he?” It freaked Chloe out that she was answering herself.
“This isn’t real. It’s all in my head. There’s no phantom voice.”
“He can’t understand me. He’s unnatural. He’s wrong. He’s not for me.”
“You’re wrong. He’s like us.”
Chloe opened her eyes and the outside world came crashing down on her. In the span of one heartbeat and the next she heard and smelled everyone in the Talon and was overwhelmed. Everything ran together and one scent was indistinguishable from another. But even in the din, in the chaos, one person was different. One heartbeat went counter to the others. One scent was stronger. One voice tone more distinct. And Chloe knew it to be Clark.
A strong growl answered Chloe. It frightened Chloe to know that the growl wasn’t from inside her head. It came from her. From her throat. “There is no ‘us’! Only you. Only one. Not two. Never two. Be with me.” A low keening erupted from Chloe’s throat and she rocked back and forth in distress. This feeling of being incomplete…of not being whole hurt so badly.
Chloe turned the faucet on and splashed water on her face. She couldn’t stay here. She had to leave. Chloe could do this. She dried her face and left the restroom. It wasn’t hard to spot Clark and Lois and Chloe almost made a run for it, but she couldn’t show weakness. Weakness meant death…especially in front of the other.
Clark greeted her and flashed her that big grin that used to make her heart melt. That grin that was so comforting before was now only the baring of teeth. A thinly veiled threat.
“Hey Clark. Listen, I’m not feeling so well so I think I’m gonna go and meet up with you later.”
“But you called me here, Chloe.”
Before she first changed, the little inflective whine he employed to get his way was merely irritating. Now it was grating and a sign of weakness and she wanted nothing more than to remove his throat. But she knew that he was stronger than her. Her fight or flight was seriously messed up when it came to him and that was the problem. Chloe couldn’t make him fit anymore and she didn’t know how to fit with him.
“Yeah. I know, but Lois is here and you said that you needed to discuss some things with her anyways. We can do this some other time. Later Clark, Lois!” Chloe made sure to inject feeling into her words. To inject her personality and let them know that everything was good. One look at Lois, however, let her know that she may have succeeded with Clark but not with her cousin. Chloe felt the momentary twinge of unease but it was quickly supplanted by her need to be anywhere but in the crowded Talon next to Clark.
But fate wasn’t on her side as she was confronted with Lana’s presence just as she was about to exit the Talon. Chloe knew from the look on Lana’s face that Lana wanted to talk to her. It was almost enough to make Chloe scream, but she realized that Lois was still watching her. Since her change, she had noticed many things, or rather many things that she should’ve noticed before but didn’t due to bias were making themselves known to her in a myriad of ways. Clark’s alien nature and surprisingly Lana’s nature.
Where Clark was wrong, Lana was disjointed. Chloe knew that Lana was pregnant, but certain things that should’ve been there weren’t and things that were there that shouldn’t were present in Lana. It all led to one immutable fact: Lana was not nor had she ever been pregnant. There were no dual heartbeats in Lana. There wasn’t the slight shift in scent that should’ve marked all the new and exciting hormones in her body. Lana’s movement wasn’t any different.
These things were clear to Chloe but she wasn’t looking for those changes. The wolf instinctively knew these things because it was the domain of animals to take notice of such. Since the change, Chloe had been in the presence of pregnant women. And she had noticed all those things, which led to a great confusion in her. “How does one miss the fact that they aren’t pregnant?” The only answer was that Lana was dimmer than she thought possible and that someone, probably Lex, was going to extraordinary lengths to fool her. Which made perfect sense to Chloe.
She was also confused because if these things were apparent to her wolf then Clark had to have known. Clark had X-ray vision. His hearing was even better than hers. He was around Lana before and after she was pregnant. He should’ve known something was wrong. He wasn’t stupid no matter how bumbling he was. Clark had moments of surprising intuition. He just relied on how special he was too much and it made him lazy and complacent.
But this was too obvious to be overlooked by his lazy. “So how could he have missed it? Is it because the kryptonite smell that’s always around her? Was it always around her? What did Lex do?” And now Lana smelled odd. As if something vital to her and found in everyone else was missing. It made Chloe feel itchy and anxious, but she had to maintain the jovial act or Lois would notice and be unbearable so she plastered on a big smile and waited for Lana.
“Chloe, I haven’t seen you in a week! Maybe we could hang out sometime? Take a shopping trip, just the two of us. All on me of course.”
“I’ve just been really busy lately and I’m not feeling well today. I think it was something I ate. Just give me a call and we’ll set something up.”
With this, Lana pouted and Chloe wanted to rip her mouth off so she’d never have to see that look again.
“Sure, Chloe. Hope you feel better. And call me if you need anything. I’ll come right over with soup and company!”
Chloe was a big enough person to realize that Lana was really and genuinely only trying to help, but Lana’s simpering and odd smell were the last things she needed. Well next to last Chloe conceded. Lois’ suspicions and Clark’s hurt looks and general alien nature would probably be the last things she needed. “Do the rules allow for a three way tie in that particular category?”
At any rate, Chloe left Lana to her simple thoughts and concerns. She was mildly interested to know why Lana thought she was pregnant and why Lex was trying hard to foster those thoughts because something in her was telling her it wasn’t about his undying love for the girl. “He’s probably behind it all. But how and why?” These thoughts consumed her and it was time for her to do something about it. “Which is why I need to tell Clark. Dammit!”
These were things she’d ponder later. Now, however, she needed to leave because she couldn’t stand to be in the Talon for even one second longer. If it were just Clark or just Lois, or just the Talon she knew she could’ve handled it. But today was a gray day and she knew it was all downhill. As she left the Talon and got into her car, all she could hear was the echoing words: “Be with me.”
Chapter 3
“. . . there was about him a suggestion of lurking ferocity, as though the Wild still lingered in him and the wolf in him merely slept.”
Jack London
As Clark continued to talk to her, Lois marveled. She couldn’t believe how fast it took for Clark to lose interest in Chloe. “The boy had to have noticed something.” Lois could never understand what it was about Clark that inspired loyalty in her cousin. Of course people said that about herself in regards to Chloe, but that was only because she was abrasive and people never bothered to look any further. However, while she knew that she wasn’t an authority on Clark Kent, she honestly hadn’t seen any reason other than the fact that he was beyond pretty. And she had been trying. Lois loved Chloe. Chloe got her like no one else and that was why she was willing to moderate her naturally big mouth. Chloe’s regard, once earned, could never truly be lost unless that person was a complete and utter jackass.
So as Clark talked about some issue or another, she watched as Chloe talked with Lana. “Chloe’s body language is hostile.” Lois might not have noticed a real change in Chloe’s body language as she was talking with her, but it was obvious as she spoke with Lana. It was even slightly apparent as she stood next to Clark. Chloe had leaned away from Clark. Chloe usually stood firmly in his personal bubble. Clark never minded because they were exceptionally close friends. Lana and Chloe’s conversation afforded her the ability to objectively look at Chloe.
Lois took in Chloe’s stance. “It’s wide. To stabilize. Stabilize for what?” Chloe’s eyes seemed to dart over Lana’s body. “As if she’s looking for something.” Lois trailed her eyes over Lana in much the same path as Chloe’s. “What could she possibly be looking for?” If the gravity of the situation had been any less, Lois might’ve been tempted to make an internal comment on how Chloe could’ve been looking for a brain or even an errant thought in that vapid exterior. And then Lois saw Chloe’s eyes move to Lana’s. And something she thought she’d never see happened. Lana dropped her eyes for a split second. Lana’s head actually ducked and her eyes lowered. “What the hell?” But something else happened to trump even that and make Lois’ eyes widen and a gasp to almost slip from her lips.
Chloe’s entire body posture changed. No longer was irritation and hostility evident in her frame. No longer did she seem like she wanted to be anywhere other than standing in front of Lana speaking with her. Chloe relaxed. It didn’t last for long. And then Lana’s and Chloe’s conversation apparently came to an end. Lois didn’t think that Chloe had even realized what was going on. She also didn’t think that Lana realized what had happened either. Lois was certain that Chloe was most likely too busy trying to seem as if nothing was wrong for her benefit. Lois watched Chloe leave the Talon. Her body language alert. “As if she’s anticipating an attack of any sort.” If Lois, for even a second, had thought about not uncovering what was going on with her cousin then what she had just witnessed steeled her resolve.
“Lois? Earth to Lois.”
Lois came back to the present when she heard Clark call her name in irritation and wave his hand in front of her face.
“Sorry Clark.” Lois actually tried to look repentant but she knew that such a look wasn’t something she could fake. She was too direct to be subtle and she had long ago come to grips with that fact.
“What was so important that for the last few minutes I might as well have been talking to the cows?”
Lois could not believe that Clark would actually liken her to a cow. If Lois had been a lesser person, she might’ve decked the guy. “Negative reinforcement would do wonders on Farmer Ted.”
“Did you actually imply that I was a cow? Seriously Clark, were you raised in a field or just in the barn itself?”
Lois felt a momentary twinge as Clark’s eyes actually darkened. “I suppose I very nearly came close to impugning the honor of his most sainted mother.” But Clark was too much of a stand-up guy to say anything in reply. She watched as Clark glanced to his watch.
“Lois, I’ve got chores to do.”
“Clark, don’t be mad. It was a joke. It would be just like if someone asked me if I lived under power lines as a child. Nothing to get your flannel in a bunch over.”
Clark shook his head and a small smile danced across his features. “Did you see what just happened there? You actually came close to apologizing. Maybe we’re making progress after all. I actually do need to head home. I’ll talk to you later.”
Lois watched him leave. She finished drinking her coffee, Chloe’s untouched coffee, and ate the chocolate chip muffin. Lois left soon after, her mind busily considering the best way to approach Chloe. No matter what people thought of her, she’d never do anything to hurt Chloe or to alienate her, but she couldn’t leave Chloe to deal with a problem that was as big as this one seemed to be.
********
It was a shame that Clark, Lois, and Chloe were all too wrapped up in their own concerns and as a consequence missed the pair of eyes that had tracked Chloe from the time she entered the Talon until she left.
It was in moments like these that Samuel Kale appreciated the swift, progressive turns that technology underwent every few months. Competition made the world go ‘round. Bluetooth was probably one of the best inventions to hit the market. It made talking on the phone such an inconspicuous thing. The conversation taking place would’ve proven to be interesting no matter who overheard. But it held particular importance to Chloe and would’ve provided a less ephemeral lead for Lois.
“Boss, Patient 081 just left the Talon. The second surveillance unit is moving into place.”
Kale listened for a response and when none was forthcoming, he continued, “We have the recordings from the microphones Miss Lang so industriously placed around the Talon. This would be much easier if you simply gave me the authorization to enter 081’s apartment.”
The cultured tones that filled his ear were bored, “If she is what we think she is and if she is capable of what we think she is then she will know that her residence has been violated. Simply do as you are told and improvise as little as possible.”
“We might be having a few problems with the future Missus Luthor. She insists on more involvement.”
“I pay you quite handsomely for your services because you are one of the best at what you do. If you can’t manage a simple woman, then perhaps it is time for your severance pay.”
Kale was not an idiot. Had he been any less smart, he knew that he would’ve found himself in a cell. Instead of bowing under the weight of the circumstances of his childhood, he got his degree in psychology and joined the marines. It’s what made him so good at what he did. Well, that and the fact that he looked pretty ordinary. He was someone that no one would be able to describe to a sketch artist simply because few people would actually remember that he was anywhere near the scene. There was nothing distinguishing about him. As a younger man, Kale was often bothered by this fact. But the money and the respect he garnered made it inconsequential. It was because of the fact that he was one of the best that he knew a threat when he heard one.
The voice on the other end of the phone continued, “She is still a serviceable asset. Dr. Langston assures me that all is progressing as planned. After this is over, she will be replaced. Until then, deal with her arrogance and her need to be something more than she is. Let her feel important and clever. Are we clear?”
“Yes, Boss, we’re clear.”
Like Lois, Samuel Kale finished his coffee and took the time to reflect. When he left, it was with a much clearer mind and a more solid plan to deal with the small town girl he was being forced to accommodate. “Maybe I’ll get to kill her when all is said and done.”
********
After Clark finished his chores, he went to the barn to be alone. He hadn’t been angered over Lois’ insinuations and slight insult, but he did feel the need to do some quiet reflection. Of course, most people would’ve called it brooding or being needlessly angsty.
Clark was no fool. He knew that his view of the world was limited. It had to be. His gifts were too strong to allow for him to be as dynamic as other people. Clark knew that he wedged the people in his life into roles. His mother and father could never be more than that to him. He couldn’t let them be friends. They had to serve as the code by which he lived his life. Martha had to always be the person that took care of him. That protected him with remarkable ferocity. His father had to always remain the rigid, moral force in his life. Lana had to be the girl to which he aspired to have. She was perfect in his eyes. Pure. She needed him and no matter whose arms she ran to, or what plans and actions she engaged in, she had to be that girl for him. And Chloe…Chloe had to be his best friend. Chloe occupied that place in his life that served as an example.
If Jonathan and Martha were the road that he traveled, then Chloe was the compass that he held in his hand every step of the way. She showed him how to be better. His parents lectured, they proselytized the virtues of strength and honor, but they were never examples of what it meant to be those things the way that Chloe was. She was alive and dynamic. She never lectured him, but with every action she took she showed him how to be better. Her tenacity, her strength, her thirst for knowledge and truth were manifest in everything she did. How could he, a man whose gifts elevated him, be any different?
He could clearly see the scale of any obstacle that was thrown his way, but the minutia of life and all that it entails were obscured to him because he couldn’t allow himself to become too invested in those things. Clark knew that if such things became paramount to him, then he could easily descend into thinking that he was superior and not merely gifted. His role as protector was not a mantle that he had donned willingly, but a burden placed on his shoulder by the mere fact that he was what he was and his parents reinforced this. It would’ve been so easy to chafe at this, but the people in his life that filled a role moderated and soothed that which could have broken him.
He couldn’t grant himself the luxury to pick and choose when and where to be moral; he had to be obsessively consistent because he wanted to be a good person. He wanted to be worthy of the gifts that he was granted. Clark could readily admit to himself that he was lonely, but Chloe took him as he was. He wasn’t the savior his parents wanted him to be yet. He wasn’t the man that Lana could love. He wasn’t able to be a friend to Lex. But he could be the person that Chloe cared for and was loyal to. He could simply be himself and he knew that Chloe would like him still. And it was for this reason that no matter what happened he couldn’t let her go. He realized that he took her for granted, but all she would ever need to do is cast one glance at him and he knew he’d go running. But the thing about Chloe was that she never did. She didn’t need him like others needed him.
The harsh truth was that Chloe didn’t need him, she wanted him. Clark knew that if she had never met him then her life would be much the same. She’d still have her journalism. She’d still get into trouble. Her vivacious personality would still exist, but would his parents have been content? They needed a child and he could be that. Lana needed a savior and he could be that too. Chloe, however, wanted him around and that freed him to find his way. It freed him to accept what he was and what he could be…to find his purpose. It meant that he could be content, he could be happy, but most of all it meant that he didn’t have to be alone.
Clark was getting tired of this particular train of thought and was about to leave to go to the house when he heard shuffling, a crash, and a faint moan. He quickly ran outside and saw Chloe lying on the ground, clad only in an over-sized shirt, half conscious and covered in blood.
Back to Prologue and Chapter 1
Onward to Chapter 4