(Untitled)

[shappyshaps]

She still hasn't tried to contact me. I don't know whether it's fear, a disinterest in me, or sheer laziness that's holding her back, but it makes me sad. I'm just so sick of being disappointed.

Today, I came home after my internship orientation, made some soup, and passed out until 8. I'm still not feeling well, and I'm sure the stress and lack

Comments

[apis_cerana]

I think it's a combination of me being a bit pissed off, my fear of confrontation, and the fact that I'm going through a lot right now.

But I really hope you feel better soon. I'm sure it'll go away in a couple more days.

[shappyshaps]

I honestly can't fathom how you'd be the pissed off one in this situation. You haven't even apologized or acknowledged any wrongdoing on your part.

Do you do this type of thing with all of your friends, or is it just something you do with me? I think that's a really important question for you to answer. My biggest fear is that you're just going to forget about all this because it's easier to do that than take care of the problem. Quite honestly, I think that's taking the cowardly route. I want to be your friend, Erika, but despite what you say, all of your behavior points to something different.

I'm going through a lot right now, too, but I'm not using it as an excuse to ignore the people around me's feelings. You can just shut off to everyone around you, but you're going to come home from Vietnam and have no one left.

I don't even know why I'm fucking bothering with saying this. You just ignore the content, anyway.

[apis_cerana]

I don't really want to do this right after I woke up, but...

The reason why I was initially pissed off was because you wrote in your journal that I didn't apologize for what I did, which I remember doing. I never forget to apologize if I hurt anybody's feelings or made somebody pissed off.
But if I was hallucinating about the word "sorry" coming out of my mouth, I definitely am sorry for being late when you were quite sick and in need of sleep.

I also think you are overreacting about this whole thing -- I don't get why you were that mad about me being late 1 1/2 hours and not calling. It's not like I don't know what I'm doing, and I seriously was trying MY BEST to get back to your house as fast as I possibly could. It reminded me of my mom being paranoid whenever I went out by myself when I was a teenager.

[shappyshaps]

You apologized for the train being late, plus anything else you said was while you were stumbling in drunk and didn't make much sense. You probably muttered 15 words from the time you returned to when I left. You wanted to get up the balls to talk to me in the morning, but you didn't, so I left for work

[apis_cerana]

Of course I left the city late. That's why I was rushing to get back before it got any later. This is going to go into tmi-land, but it was kind of hard to try to leave on time while I was completely wasted and he was trying to convince me to come back to Queens with him. But I made the effort, and I was running as fast as I could to the station. Even if you might not think so, I was trying my best to keep my promise.

I'm sorry for disappointing you. I wasn't aware that I was supposed to contact you IRL.