Post-Birthday Post Extravaganza!
This is my post-birthday post. It's long, full of details, and jam packed with pictures (which can be made bigger just by clicking on the shot). Some of it rambles slightly, but I tried to break it up into chunks. It took forever to write, (and format, thanks to LJ being a bitch), so please do read it. And comment. I like comments. Tell me what you think because it makes exerting all this effort to put this together worth it. Thanks!
I wish we could do what they do in Katroo.
They sure know how to say "Happy Birthday to You!"
In Katroo, every year, on the day you were born
They start the day right in the bright early morn
When the Birthday Honk-Honker hikes high up Mt. Zorn
And lets loose a big blast on the big Birthday Horn.
And the voice of the horn calls out louds as it plays:
"Wake Up! For today is your Day of all Days!"
So, my birthday was today, and thanks to some wonderful friends, I had a really fun time.
First, my family took me to Tiffany's to get a necklace. While I know that seems extravagant, it actually didn't cost as much as you'd think, it was an easy answer to their "what to buy Annie" problem, and it was the only gift I got this year. I was originally going to receive the big chain and padlock necklace, (what I liked to refer to as "hardcore cla$$y"), but when I tried it on, my parents thought it looked too chunky and butch, so we kept looking. Then I found a piece from the Frank Gehry collection that I absolutely loved and the parents agreed, (Andy just shrugged), and the purchase was made. It's currently at the store having the chain lengthened, and I'll go pick up the pretty blue box and it's contents tomorrow.
After that was finished, we all went to have lunch at Shelley's nearby. It was pretty fancy, but seeing as we weren't dressed very nicely, (it was just so damn hot... Milk was a bad choice...), they threw us in the back corner. However, the service rocked and the food was really really good. Since I wasn't getting an official cake, I got to have my pick of the dessert menu. I chose the Baked Alaska since I'd never had it before. The waitress brought the dish out with a sparkler stabbed in it, then after the sparkler ran out, she poured rum all over the cake and lit it on fire.
My baked Alaska, with a very disinterested and unimpressed brother in the background.
ON FY-ERRRRRR!
So fucking awesome. From now on, all my birthday cakes will be served to me flaming.
______________________________________
I met up with Alex after that at Penn Station, and we walked up to Times Square to dick around until Anne got out of work. I bought myself some Joni Mitchell sheet music at Colony, and as we were walking to Starbucks so Alex could sit down, a street camera crew from Music Choice stopped me and asked (very insistently) if I wanted to ask Bo Bice (From American Idol) a question.
Me: Bo Bice? What the hell would I ask him?
Him: Oh, I already have a question for you! Just ask him "Who would you rather make out with: Simon or Randy?"
Me: Hahahaha. Okay.
Him: Great! So what's your name?
Me: Annie.
Him: And where are you from, Annie?
Me: Brooklyn, NY.
Him: No! Have you ever lived anywhere else in your life?
Me: Um, yeah. I've lived in Connecticut and Delaware. [Note- not actually true, but I did stay in those place for a long period of time for school.]
Him: Dover, Delaware?
Me: No, Newark.
Him: Great, go with it.
He then handed me the mike and taped me asking the Bo Bice the dumbest question in the history of everything that I have no interest in ever knowing the answer to. It'll air on Music Choice's website sometime in the near future. Awesomeness! You know, I've lived in New York City my whole life, and I'd always seen those taped segments in Times Square on TV, but even though I go through that area quite frequently, I'd never EVER seen the tapings actually happen. But today, not only did I see one happening, I got to be a part of it and pretend I wasn't a New Yorker! (Oh, shit. This might hurt my reputation-- pretending I wasn't from NYC and also implying that I gave a shit about Bo Bice's judge makeout preference. Fuck...)
______________________________________
Then Anne met us at Starbuck's and the super duper fun started.
Let me tell you all about Anne for those who don't know. She and I were next-door neighbors at boarding school for her two years there. Anne is one of the funnest people I know. She has no sense of tact and no shame- a formidable combination. She moved to the city over a year ago, and I enjoy her company immensely.
First, even though I talk about the other person all the time when I'm with them, Anne had never met Alex before and vice versa, so they spent the beginning bit getting aquainted. About five minutes before Anne arrived, I told Alex my predictions for what she'd do once she got there, (come in like a whirling dervish, make some really embarrassing comment about me, tell Alex a story involving way more personal information than Alex would ever want to know about her, and then finally say happy birthday to me), and I was totally spot on. It was great. She told some long story about what happened to her underwear today while at work, which then brought up the story about the mice eating the crotches out of all of her old panties last month, which then brought up her triangle piercing. Alex just sat there, agape and giggling.
That's my Anne. :)
______________________________________
We left Starbucks after about 30 minutes to start meandering again, but as we passed Toys'R'Us, I demanded we stop inside so I could get a free balloon declaring it was my birthday like I did last year. After I gave the woman at customer services my best puppydog eyes, ("Balloons are only for 2-10 year-olds," "But I got one last year *pout*"), and with my birthday balloon firmly in hand, the three of us went up to Candyland "just to see, not to eat." That's when the Great Stupid Picture Binge stared. Basically, we just started taking turns and posing with all the toys and statues around the store while mothers covered their children's eyes. We have no shame, and it rocked. See the results below.
I like the pole AND the hole.
And so does Alex. That was one gigantic fucking lollipop there. I'm doing my best Zoolander impression.
Note my kick ass "Geoffrey's Birthday Club" balloon in the background. I fought hard for that bitch.
Anne getting cozy with the lollipop chick.
Me trying to fit in with the lollipop chick.
My hair's so dense, I probably could have supported a few more sticks in there, and those things were heavy.
She was trying to look like she was making out with Mr. M&M, but looks like she's about to barf in his face.
It was at this point that the first mother steered her child away from us.
We're like twins!
This pic came out so much better than I thought it would. Hahahaha.
Pride Bear!
A mop just like Mom's! Now you too can drink martinis and keep the kitchen clean!
Creepiest fucking baby dolls EVER.
The first in a series of head shots. (GET IT?! HEAD SHOTS?! HAHAHAHA I'M SO FUNNY)
I really liked how creepy these turned out. It took a bit of me coaching Anne to get Barbie's pout and vacant, soulless stare down, but it paid off.
Alex was all up ons the Ken doll that looked like Cesar.
(Doesn't it totally look like the Ken doll version of Cesar???)
Getting dainty with Mermaid Barbie.
"Welcome to our Dream House!"
I told them to pose outside the Dream House like Barbie and Ken, all stiff and whatnot. Ahahahaha.
Climbing up to the Cabbage Patch Kids' tree house.
Choosing dresses is tough.
Rollin' in the Legos!
I asked Anne to go and chase the helicopter thing like a cat. Unfortunately, this is the only shot I could get off during the action. Anne was adorable jumping after that thing. I wish I'd taken some video...
Run away!
He's still chasing us!
Alas, this is so cliché...
Still, it's a great shot of Anne.
IMPROMPTU LIGHTSABER FIGHT!
Hahahahahaha, I just noticed that I went into my old fencing stance. God, old habits...
GOOD VS. EVIL
WHO WILL BE TRIUMPHANT?
VICTORY.
Alex going down the escalator on the way out.
Anne on the way out. HOW CUTE IS THIS PICTURE?
45 minutes of immature gigglefits and posing later, (Blue Steel! Ferrari! Le Tigre!), Anne had to rush and leave to be a whore cook dinner for someone, (that bacon strip wasn't going to sizzle forever), and Erika came in about ten minutes later to take her place. As Anne walked away, I turned to Alex for an indicator of what he thought of her.
Me: So that was Anne.
Alex: [matter-of-factly] It sure was.
______________________________________
The new trio of Alex, Erika, and myself then walked over to Bryant Park to sit and chat. I think we spent about an hour just chilling at a table and talking. It started to cool off, and the whole atmosphere was lovely. Erika gave me my presents, (a bunch of random awesome Japanese toys [see photo below]), and I showed her the photos from the toy store. Unfortunately, Alex's back was acting up, so around 6, we left the park to drop him off at Penn Station.
My presents from Erika! Clockwise from left- a wooden bunny clacker, a toy where you stab daggers into a barrel with a sailor in it trying not to let him jump out, (sweet!), a Hello Kitty sack, and the cutest pushpins EVER.
______________________________________
Having lost our third Musketeer, Erika and I decided to go shopping. I still needed shoes for my cousin's wedding this weekend, so we ducked into Macy's to look at heels. Things with my salesperson started off on the wrong foot, (AHAHAH SHOE PUN), when he had a bitchy little fit when I posed a hypothetical "Really?" to a size query, but we made up and I ended up with some really hot shoes. Unfortunately, they're by HENNIFER LOPEZ, but I think I'll get over it. Let me know what you think of them!
New shoes!
Arg, I hate my legs. So unattractive in so many ways.
Mreow.
After the wedding's over, I can use them when I dom.
______________________________________
Erika and I then started powershopping. We first went to The Gap, where I got a pair of madras shorts, a pair of jeans, and a new button-down, and she got a tank top, then we went to Old Navy where Erika got some adorable tank tops, some linen capris, and new kicks. Next was H&M, but that ultimately proved fruitless. Finally, with our last bits of energy, (I cursed Zoidberg), we stumbled into a Sbarro's and shared a slice of pepperoni pizza, surrounded by our many shopping bags. It was some shitty pizza, but some good times.
______________________________________
I was dropped off at the subway and headed home. Arriving at my door precisely at 11:45 PM, I ran up to my room to check my computer. 24 emails, a screen full of IMs, a full facebook wall, and a bunch of IAM IMs, all wishing me a happy birthday. I felt so loved. To anyone that had a part in that, thank you so much. It was the flaming icing on my already rum-soaked cake.
______________________________________
Right now, I'm exhausted, full, and content. I'll leave you all with the closing passage from Happy Birthday to You!, the Dr. Seuss book that's been a birthday reading tradition since I was a toddler and will stay with me until I run out of birthdays to celebrate:
When it ends,
You're much happier,
Richer and fatter.
And the Bird flies you home
On a very soft platter.
So that's
What the Birthday Bird
Does in Katroo.
And I wish
I could do
All these great things for you!
I wish we could do what they do in Katroo.
They sure know how to say "Happy Birthday to You!"
In Katroo, every year, on the day you were born
They start the day right in the bright early morn
When the Birthday Honk-Honker hikes high up Mt. Zorn
And lets loose a big blast on the big Birthday Horn.
And the voice of the horn calls out louds as it plays:
"Wake Up! For today is your Day of all Days!"
So, my birthday was today, and thanks to some wonderful friends, I had a really fun time.
First, my family took me to Tiffany's to get a necklace. While I know that seems extravagant, it actually didn't cost as much as you'd think, it was an easy answer to their "what to buy Annie" problem, and it was the only gift I got this year. I was originally going to receive the big chain and padlock necklace, (what I liked to refer to as "hardcore cla$$y"), but when I tried it on, my parents thought it looked too chunky and butch, so we kept looking. Then I found a piece from the Frank Gehry collection that I absolutely loved and the parents agreed, (Andy just shrugged), and the purchase was made. It's currently at the store having the chain lengthened, and I'll go pick up the pretty blue box and it's contents tomorrow.
After that was finished, we all went to have lunch at Shelley's nearby. It was pretty fancy, but seeing as we weren't dressed very nicely, (it was just so damn hot... Milk was a bad choice...), they threw us in the back corner. However, the service rocked and the food was really really good. Since I wasn't getting an official cake, I got to have my pick of the dessert menu. I chose the Baked Alaska since I'd never had it before. The waitress brought the dish out with a sparkler stabbed in it, then after the sparkler ran out, she poured rum all over the cake and lit it on fire.
My baked Alaska, with a very disinterested and unimpressed brother in the background.
ON FY-ERRRRRR!
So fucking awesome. From now on, all my birthday cakes will be served to me flaming.
______________________________________
I met up with Alex after that at Penn Station, and we walked up to Times Square to dick around until Anne got out of work. I bought myself some Joni Mitchell sheet music at Colony, and as we were walking to Starbucks so Alex could sit down, a street camera crew from Music Choice stopped me and asked (very insistently) if I wanted to ask Bo Bice (From American Idol) a question.
Me: Bo Bice? What the hell would I ask him?
Him: Oh, I already have a question for you! Just ask him "Who would you rather make out with: Simon or Randy?"
Me: Hahahaha. Okay.
Him: Great! So what's your name?
Me: Annie.
Him: And where are you from, Annie?
Me: Brooklyn, NY.
Him: No! Have you ever lived anywhere else in your life?
Me: Um, yeah. I've lived in Connecticut and Delaware. [Note- not actually true, but I did stay in those place for a long period of time for school.]
Him: Dover, Delaware?
Me: No, Newark.
Him: Great, go with it.
He then handed me the mike and taped me asking the Bo Bice the dumbest question in the history of everything that I have no interest in ever knowing the answer to. It'll air on Music Choice's website sometime in the near future. Awesomeness! You know, I've lived in New York City my whole life, and I'd always seen those taped segments in Times Square on TV, but even though I go through that area quite frequently, I'd never EVER seen the tapings actually happen. But today, not only did I see one happening, I got to be a part of it and pretend I wasn't a New Yorker! (Oh, shit. This might hurt my reputation-- pretending I wasn't from NYC and also implying that I gave a shit about Bo Bice's judge makeout preference. Fuck...)
______________________________________
Then Anne met us at Starbuck's and the super duper fun started.
Let me tell you all about Anne for those who don't know. She and I were next-door neighbors at boarding school for her two years there. Anne is one of the funnest people I know. She has no sense of tact and no shame- a formidable combination. She moved to the city over a year ago, and I enjoy her company immensely.
First, even though I talk about the other person all the time when I'm with them, Anne had never met Alex before and vice versa, so they spent the beginning bit getting aquainted. About five minutes before Anne arrived, I told Alex my predictions for what she'd do once she got there, (come in like a whirling dervish, make some really embarrassing comment about me, tell Alex a story involving way more personal information than Alex would ever want to know about her, and then finally say happy birthday to me), and I was totally spot on. It was great. She told some long story about what happened to her underwear today while at work, which then brought up the story about the mice eating the crotches out of all of her old panties last month, which then brought up her triangle piercing. Alex just sat there, agape and giggling.
That's my Anne. :)
______________________________________
We left Starbucks after about 30 minutes to start meandering again, but as we passed Toys'R'Us, I demanded we stop inside so I could get a free balloon declaring it was my birthday like I did last year. After I gave the woman at customer services my best puppydog eyes, ("Balloons are only for 2-10 year-olds," "But I got one last year *pout*"), and with my birthday balloon firmly in hand, the three of us went up to Candyland "just to see, not to eat." That's when the Great Stupid Picture Binge stared. Basically, we just started taking turns and posing with all the toys and statues around the store while mothers covered their children's eyes. We have no shame, and it rocked. See the results below.
I like the pole AND the hole.
And so does Alex. That was one gigantic fucking lollipop there. I'm doing my best Zoolander impression.
Note my kick ass "Geoffrey's Birthday Club" balloon in the background. I fought hard for that bitch.
Anne getting cozy with the lollipop chick.
Me trying to fit in with the lollipop chick.
My hair's so dense, I probably could have supported a few more sticks in there, and those things were heavy.
She was trying to look like she was making out with Mr. M&M, but looks like she's about to barf in his face.
It was at this point that the first mother steered her child away from us.
We're like twins!
This pic came out so much better than I thought it would. Hahahaha.
Pride Bear!
A mop just like Mom's! Now you too can drink martinis and keep the kitchen clean!
Creepiest fucking baby dolls EVER.
The first in a series of head shots. (GET IT?! HEAD SHOTS?! HAHAHAHA I'M SO FUNNY)
I really liked how creepy these turned out. It took a bit of me coaching Anne to get Barbie's pout and vacant, soulless stare down, but it paid off.
Alex was all up ons the Ken doll that looked like Cesar.
(Doesn't it totally look like the Ken doll version of Cesar???)
Getting dainty with Mermaid Barbie.
"Welcome to our Dream House!"
I told them to pose outside the Dream House like Barbie and Ken, all stiff and whatnot. Ahahahaha.
Climbing up to the Cabbage Patch Kids' tree house.
Choosing dresses is tough.
Rollin' in the Legos!
I asked Anne to go and chase the helicopter thing like a cat. Unfortunately, this is the only shot I could get off during the action. Anne was adorable jumping after that thing. I wish I'd taken some video...
Run away!
He's still chasing us!
Alas, this is so cliché...
Still, it's a great shot of Anne.
IMPROMPTU LIGHTSABER FIGHT!
Hahahahahaha, I just noticed that I went into my old fencing stance. God, old habits...
GOOD VS. EVIL
WHO WILL BE TRIUMPHANT?
VICTORY.
Alex going down the escalator on the way out.
Anne on the way out. HOW CUTE IS THIS PICTURE?
45 minutes of immature gigglefits and posing later, (Blue Steel! Ferrari! Le Tigre!), Anne had to rush and leave to be a whore cook dinner for someone, (that bacon strip wasn't going to sizzle forever), and Erika came in about ten minutes later to take her place. As Anne walked away, I turned to Alex for an indicator of what he thought of her.
Me: So that was Anne.
Alex: [matter-of-factly] It sure was.
______________________________________
The new trio of Alex, Erika, and myself then walked over to Bryant Park to sit and chat. I think we spent about an hour just chilling at a table and talking. It started to cool off, and the whole atmosphere was lovely. Erika gave me my presents, (a bunch of random awesome Japanese toys [see photo below]), and I showed her the photos from the toy store. Unfortunately, Alex's back was acting up, so around 6, we left the park to drop him off at Penn Station.
My presents from Erika! Clockwise from left- a wooden bunny clacker, a toy where you stab daggers into a barrel with a sailor in it trying not to let him jump out, (sweet!), a Hello Kitty sack, and the cutest pushpins EVER.
______________________________________
Having lost our third Musketeer, Erika and I decided to go shopping. I still needed shoes for my cousin's wedding this weekend, so we ducked into Macy's to look at heels. Things with my salesperson started off on the wrong foot, (AHAHAH SHOE PUN), when he had a bitchy little fit when I posed a hypothetical "Really?" to a size query, but we made up and I ended up with some really hot shoes. Unfortunately, they're by HENNIFER LOPEZ, but I think I'll get over it. Let me know what you think of them!
New shoes!
Arg, I hate my legs. So unattractive in so many ways.
Mreow.
After the wedding's over, I can use them when I dom.
______________________________________
Erika and I then started powershopping. We first went to The Gap, where I got a pair of madras shorts, a pair of jeans, and a new button-down, and she got a tank top, then we went to Old Navy where Erika got some adorable tank tops, some linen capris, and new kicks. Next was H&M, but that ultimately proved fruitless. Finally, with our last bits of energy, (I cursed Zoidberg), we stumbled into a Sbarro's and shared a slice of pepperoni pizza, surrounded by our many shopping bags. It was some shitty pizza, but some good times.
______________________________________
I was dropped off at the subway and headed home. Arriving at my door precisely at 11:45 PM, I ran up to my room to check my computer. 24 emails, a screen full of IMs, a full facebook wall, and a bunch of IAM IMs, all wishing me a happy birthday. I felt so loved. To anyone that had a part in that, thank you so much. It was the flaming icing on my already rum-soaked cake.
______________________________________
Right now, I'm exhausted, full, and content. I'll leave you all with the closing passage from Happy Birthday to You!, the Dr. Seuss book that's been a birthday reading tradition since I was a toddler and will stay with me until I run out of birthdays to celebrate:
When it ends,
You're much happier,
Richer and fatter.
And the Bird flies you home
On a very soft platter.
So that's
What the Birthday Bird
Does in Katroo.
And I wish
I could do
All these great things for you!