bitter
one thing i really do not like, is pressure.
i'm shy and have low confidence, plus low self-confidence. i do not like the idea of sitting round a table with other couples and my boy friends /friends parents. especially with a girl who was supposed to be my best friend and ditched me, Her boyfriend who doesn't give a shit about his friend who needed help and always seems to be grumpy and mean (especially to her lately). ((well i hope it was worth it!!)) my best friends (<3) her boyfriend who i seem to have a grudge against cuz i don't see her as much anymore. (i know i should get used to these things but they always end up shit so really i have a right to be annoyed when they forget about me) his mother who seemed to blame me for her overdose and is generally scary, no no no. i'm fine staying home revising and finishing off my coursework, not wasting my time with you all.
maybe i should just let go but why bother i don't want to sit there and pretend i'm fucking great
sometimes it's so hard to think positive,
(and right now i mean about relationships) when every body elses seems to be falling apart around me..and sometimes i get so annoyed i just want you to stop talking . DO NOT TELL ME WHERE I CAN AND CANNOT GO. that is something i will NOT put up with, and you know i won't. so you'll apologise and let me win again (i know this will change soon). ITS SCARY, how people can completely change, or even pretend to be somebody they aren't. and it's scary how people's feelings change. one day you're happy together, maybe in love with each other and then somebody gets bored, or somebody cheats, or somebody wants Change. and the other person is lost. this hasn't happened to be personally, i am lucky to have my boyfriend. and sometimes if i get annoyed i feel bad cuz i am lucky. but then i am human and there will always be things about people that annoy me, but you just put up with it.
i just feel angry and sad.
but i don't really know why.
and why can everybody else seem to fall in love but i can't? ??? because that just makes everything more COMPLICATED.
and fuck shit i need a job. i keep skipping college cuz i cant be fucked to walk for an hour and a half for one stupid lesson. and i wana help my parents pay for neos tablets so i dont have to hear them talking about putting him down and not having enough money to keep this up. why won't anyone employ me? have they never seen a shy person before? somebody who isn't good at making themselves look like the best person for the job. i cannot be the only one. it's fucking ridiculous give me a chance.
i'm shy and have low confidence, plus low self-confidence. i do not like the idea of sitting round a table with other couples and my boy friends /friends parents. especially with a girl who was supposed to be my best friend and ditched me, Her boyfriend who doesn't give a shit about his friend who needed help and always seems to be grumpy and mean (especially to her lately). ((well i hope it was worth it!!)) my best friends (<3) her boyfriend who i seem to have a grudge against cuz i don't see her as much anymore. (i know i should get used to these things but they always end up shit so really i have a right to be annoyed when they forget about me) his mother who seemed to blame me for her overdose and is generally scary, no no no. i'm fine staying home revising and finishing off my coursework, not wasting my time with you all.
maybe i should just let go but why bother i don't want to sit there and pretend i'm fucking great
sometimes it's so hard to think positive,
(and right now i mean about relationships) when every body elses seems to be falling apart around me..and sometimes i get so annoyed i just want you to stop talking . DO NOT TELL ME WHERE I CAN AND CANNOT GO. that is something i will NOT put up with, and you know i won't. so you'll apologise and let me win again (i know this will change soon). ITS SCARY, how people can completely change, or even pretend to be somebody they aren't. and it's scary how people's feelings change. one day you're happy together, maybe in love with each other and then somebody gets bored, or somebody cheats, or somebody wants Change. and the other person is lost. this hasn't happened to be personally, i am lucky to have my boyfriend. and sometimes if i get annoyed i feel bad cuz i am lucky. but then i am human and there will always be things about people that annoy me, but you just put up with it.
i just feel angry and sad.
but i don't really know why.
and why can everybody else seem to fall in love but i can't? ??? because that just makes everything more COMPLICATED.
and fuck shit i need a job. i keep skipping college cuz i cant be fucked to walk for an hour and a half for one stupid lesson. and i wana help my parents pay for neos tablets so i dont have to hear them talking about putting him down and not having enough money to keep this up. why won't anyone employ me? have they never seen a shy person before? somebody who isn't good at making themselves look like the best person for the job. i cannot be the only one. it's fucking ridiculous give me a chance.