ugh

[shanzzi]

soo the bday is over. thanks to everyone who called and left me messages and whatnot, made my life. kinda sad. this is going to sound ridiculous, but it wasnt that great...last night was fun because i was wasted but no one else really drank so that was lame and i just wanted to go out with everyone and have a good time and we couldnt even do that. then this morning i had to wake up ridiculously hung over (yeah that in itself says a lot) and got ready to see my parents. i think seeing them was the best part of my day definitely, sad as it may sound. im kinda homesick now. talking with them was just really nice and relaxing and it was so nice of them to come visit me..it just made me really happy and i miss that. then came back and we had our first rush event...i suck at rushing girls. like i couldnt talk at all and was miserable. i ended up sitting out on the last 3 parties cause i didnt feel good...wise decision because all of the sudden while i was lying down, i felt nautious and ran to the bathroom and barely made it to the sink. so yeaah that would have been AWFUL if i had actually been downstairs talking to girls. then i took a shower and went to dinner and since then ive been being a waste of life. like a huge waste, sitting at my desk for hours doing nothing. i dont know whats wrong with me. seriously and im always tired, and people make comments about how i sleep all the time and it really bothers me because i literally cannot help it. i drink coffee and red bull and i still am always tired. i even bought caffeine pills the other day cause its bothering me so much. like usually on average i probably get 6-7 hours of sleep every night and end up napping in the middle of the day basically every day. and i just dont know why because no one else seems to need to take naps but i cant function if i dont. so i dunno. basically im getting fat (yes i have gained weight) and im lazy and im constantly tired. and i dont know what to do about it.

awful.

mm yeah so in conclusion, the bday was kinda a let down...missing home and my bests and my boyfriend and feeling like im a complete waste of space, and yeah. dont know what else to say :o(