bad day

[shantikarma]

I lost it, on sunday 
my memory stick with all my work on it,
all my short story's and poetry everything i have done in the last year. 
much of watch I did not have hard copy's made
 because I never thought I would need them
I don't as a rule cry 
but I feel like doing just that, letting go and wailing like a two year old 
throwing things, and screaming until I lose my voice 
but I don't do that 
I am trapped in that male macho thing that I have been doing since I was a kid 
I am thinking of a song by kieth urben I think It's called,  I think I am going to cry 
I don't know if it's by keith but I think it is
and that is what I want to do 
but I don't do that
I accept and move on knowing that there is nothing I can do
but I wish just this once I could cry