So, I was in Florida last week and did some reading.
Yes, I sat at my Aunt' beach house and read a little bit, while watching tropical storm Debbie for a few days, and then watched my nephew the rest of the week. But, I have a review to share.
Oh my! A List of things that drove me crazy while reading Fifty Shades of Grey:
Oh my! - srsly. The heroine says this all the time. Stumble and fall? Oh my! Lower your panties? Oh my! Tie you up? Oh my! Get drunk? Oh my! Srsly. Get another phrase.
Holy Shit! -- *sigh* This is the other catch phrase. The ONLY other catch phrase. >_<
Laters, baby -- damn. One more catch phrase. Guh.
Emailing - pages of this story are in email format. Complete with header and tag lines. Would texting or a chat be faster? Why, yes, I do think so. Would they be less annoying? Not sure, but probably.
Emailing II - for the love of God, stop using your work emails for personal use!! Especially if you are going to reference your sex life! Get a hotmail or gmail account! Geez!
Phone calls - “You hang up. No, you hang up. No, YOU hang up. No no, YOU hang up.” Sadly, I am not making this up.
Mary Sue - she gets a job as an intern, but no, it’s as an assistant, and then guess what happens after a week? Yup, she takes over for her boss. Because she is SO exceptional. She has a bright mind and her college GPA was 4.0. BRILLIANT!
Stupid Mary Sue - she can’t remember to take/use her birth control. Oh my! Well, I guess it is difficult to remember birth control when you don’t want to have children. I mean, honestly. She has a new job and all. And is learning about sex a lot. Who can be bothered with birth control?
Mr., Ms. and Mrs. - they constantly call each other by these terms. Mr. Grey. Ms. Steele. In the third book, it is all Mr. Grey and Mrs. Grey. For some reason, this reminded of Mr. and Mrs. Howl from Gilligan's Island. >_< WTF? (hey, that could be a nice, occasional, catch phrase.)
Cliched Bad Guys - This shouldn’t bother me, as the female nemeses are the same in almost every fanfic (and romance novel!) ever written, as is the bad ‘guy’, actually. You know the one’s I’m talking about, right: The girls that go “You bitch!” and flounce about, and the guys that go “I am going to make you sleep with ME because I am in a position of power and CAN”?
Demure Mary Sue - “I don’t have a submissive bone in my body, Mr. Grey,” I whisper as I bite my lip, flush hotly and stare at my feet. Is he mad at me? “Please, please, don’t be mad at me, Mr. Grey.” I whisper. Will he spank me?
Audi’s - the only car of choice! Everyone has an Audi! Okay, one time, they drive a Saab. But no other type of sports car. Because Audi’s are the safest cars out there! Also, they come in black or white.
Driving - or lack of. “Here, Ms. Steele. I bought you a car.” Oh my! “But I can’t let you drive it. I’m too worried about you.” Oh. My. (See, this would be a good time for WTF? to be used.)
Sentences. That. Are. Written. As. Single. Words. - you know I use this trope in emails or chats, because it gets my point across. But in a story, I expect a little more effort. How about “You are mine,” he bit out the words. (Or something similar).
.
Bizzare Sex - or lack of, rather.
Oh my! A List of things that drove me crazy while reading Fifty Shades of Grey:
Oh my! - srsly. The heroine says this all the time. Stumble and fall? Oh my! Lower your panties? Oh my! Tie you up? Oh my! Get drunk? Oh my! Srsly. Get another phrase.
Holy Shit! -- *sigh* This is the other catch phrase. The ONLY other catch phrase. >_<
Laters, baby -- damn. One more catch phrase. Guh.
Emailing - pages of this story are in email format. Complete with header and tag lines. Would texting or a chat be faster? Why, yes, I do think so. Would they be less annoying? Not sure, but probably.
Emailing II - for the love of God, stop using your work emails for personal use!! Especially if you are going to reference your sex life! Get a hotmail or gmail account! Geez!
Phone calls - “You hang up. No, you hang up. No, YOU hang up. No no, YOU hang up.” Sadly, I am not making this up.
Mary Sue - she gets a job as an intern, but no, it’s as an assistant, and then guess what happens after a week? Yup, she takes over for her boss. Because she is SO exceptional. She has a bright mind and her college GPA was 4.0. BRILLIANT!
Stupid Mary Sue - she can’t remember to take/use her birth control. Oh my! Well, I guess it is difficult to remember birth control when you don’t want to have children. I mean, honestly. She has a new job and all. And is learning about sex a lot. Who can be bothered with birth control?
Mr., Ms. and Mrs. - they constantly call each other by these terms. Mr. Grey. Ms. Steele. In the third book, it is all Mr. Grey and Mrs. Grey. For some reason, this reminded of Mr. and Mrs. Howl from Gilligan's Island. >_< WTF? (hey, that could be a nice, occasional, catch phrase.)
Cliched Bad Guys - This shouldn’t bother me, as the female nemeses are the same in almost every fanfic (and romance novel!) ever written, as is the bad ‘guy’, actually. You know the one’s I’m talking about, right: The girls that go “You bitch!” and flounce about, and the guys that go “I am going to make you sleep with ME because I am in a position of power and CAN”?
Demure Mary Sue - “I don’t have a submissive bone in my body, Mr. Grey,” I whisper as I bite my lip, flush hotly and stare at my feet. Is he mad at me? “Please, please, don’t be mad at me, Mr. Grey.” I whisper. Will he spank me?
Audi’s - the only car of choice! Everyone has an Audi! Okay, one time, they drive a Saab. But no other type of sports car. Because Audi’s are the safest cars out there! Also, they come in black or white.
Driving - or lack of. “Here, Ms. Steele. I bought you a car.” Oh my! “But I can’t let you drive it. I’m too worried about you.” Oh. My. (See, this would be a good time for WTF? to be used.)
Sentences. That. Are. Written. As. Single. Words. - you know I use this trope in emails or chats, because it gets my point across. But in a story, I expect a little more effort. How about “You are mine,” he bit out the words. (Or something similar).
.
Bizzare Sex - or lack of, rather.