Cutting down the pill count
For several months now I've been taking Oxycontin twice a day to help deal with the pain from my cancer and the surgeries I've had. It has been 2 months since my last surgery and on Saturday I took the last dose of Oxycontin I had. Since I have been feeling so well and haven't been having any pain I decided not to call Dr. Schwartz for a new prescription and am now on my forth day without it.
When I was initially put on Oxycontin I was terrified of taking it because I have an addictive personality and was scared that I would become addicted to it. I have never taken more than what my doctor prescribed for me and have never lied about my pain for an increased dosage. I made it through without becoming and addict. This does not mean, however, that my body has not become dependent upon the medication.
As a result I am currently going through minor withdraw. Initially I wasn't going to tell anyone but my Mom about this. When she and I talked about it she asked me why I didn't want anyone else to know. To quote her "It's not like you are a drug addict recovering from a heroin addiction or something. You are going through a normal process when coming off a prescription that strong that you have been on for so long.". I was scared that people might get the wrong impression about me. To hear that someone is going through withdraw has certain negative connotations.
I have a new found respect for true addicts who go through detox and withdraw. I quit cold-turkey from a pretty low dose and the effects on my body and mind have been outrageous. I go through hot and cold flashes and sweats, the muscles in my lower back try and contort me into a pretzel at random, I can't sleep, I'm irritable and depressed alternately, and sometimes (miraculously) I feel normal. I can't imagine what it must be like coming off of this stuff at the levels an abuser takes.
So here's to two fewer pills in the pill box every day and the courage to trust my friends to not judge me.
When I was initially put on Oxycontin I was terrified of taking it because I have an addictive personality and was scared that I would become addicted to it. I have never taken more than what my doctor prescribed for me and have never lied about my pain for an increased dosage. I made it through without becoming and addict. This does not mean, however, that my body has not become dependent upon the medication.
As a result I am currently going through minor withdraw. Initially I wasn't going to tell anyone but my Mom about this. When she and I talked about it she asked me why I didn't want anyone else to know. To quote her "It's not like you are a drug addict recovering from a heroin addiction or something. You are going through a normal process when coming off a prescription that strong that you have been on for so long.". I was scared that people might get the wrong impression about me. To hear that someone is going through withdraw has certain negative connotations.
I have a new found respect for true addicts who go through detox and withdraw. I quit cold-turkey from a pretty low dose and the effects on my body and mind have been outrageous. I go through hot and cold flashes and sweats, the muscles in my lower back try and contort me into a pretzel at random, I can't sleep, I'm irritable and depressed alternately, and sometimes (miraculously) I feel normal. I can't imagine what it must be like coming off of this stuff at the levels an abuser takes.
So here's to two fewer pills in the pill box every day and the courage to trust my friends to not judge me.