"Suffering is the Best Punishment" - Chapter 14
Title: Suffering is the Best Punishment
Author: Shannon - shannyfish
Disclaimer: I do not own “The Mentalist” or its characters, CBS does. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Takes Place during Season Two. Red John attacks Jane using his own twisted type of psychological warfare.
Warning: Severe spoilers for season one.
Chapter 14 - “Dei Gratia”
Author’s Note: Since the second season is officially about to start on Thursday, I figured I’d throw this up before hand. If I’m really good you’ll get two chapters before Thursday…lol
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“Faith is a living and unshakable confidence, a belief in the grace of God so assured that a man would die a thousand deaths for its sake.” - Martin Luther
Hospital Room
Alive.
They were alive.
By the grace of God.
Jane sat there helpless.
Now that they were in the hospital, there was nothing that he could do. Minelli had already arranged for guards to stand outside each and every one of their rooms. There was no escaping. They’d put him, Cho, and Lisbon in the same ambulance together since none of them were critically injured, but Jane worried…about Lisbon. His heart ached for news on Rigsby and Van Pelt. All he knew was that they were both in surgery.
And so he sat there. It was worse than being in the middle of nowhere. He was surrounded by pain and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. Minelli had ensured that he wouldn’t be able to leave for any reason other than needing surgery and being moved to the operation rooms. He didn’t need surgery though. He’d been lucky.
He didn’t feel lucky.
That’s what everyone had told him. That he’d been lucky. He didn’t see how that was reassuring at all. Why couldn’t anyone else be the lucky one? He was fine with the storm cloud over his head for the remainder of his life. Let someone else be lucky.
The door opened and his head snapped up in hope of Lisbon.
Doctor.
Damn.
“Mr. Jane, you’re very lucky…”
Very lucky, here we go again.
“It could have been a lot worse. You’re going to want to keep your face clean to keep those cuts from being infected. The bruise from the seat belt is just that, you haven’t broken any ribs,” the doctor went on as he snapped an x-ray into a light box on the wall revealing all bones intact.
“Does that mean I can leave?” Jane asked. He figured that the doctor had to be going somewhere with this news. He just hoped that it was in the direction that he wanted it to go.
“No.”
“You just said I was fine.”
“I did,” the doctor agreed.
“Last time I checked that meant that you let patients go to make room for people who really needed this space,” Jane said getting up from the table.
“The police have asked for you and your friends to remain in your rooms.”
“Can’t we bunk up or something?” Jane asked. “This room has at least enough space for two other people. I’m going to go crazy just sitting in here doing nothing.”
It was the truth.
He couldn’t believe that he was spatting such truth at this random doctor, but he had. It had been what was in his heart and what he needed to get out. That was what he wanted. Lisbon and Cho, though he’d settle for just Lisbon. He wanted to hold her, though he knew that he couldn’t.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
And with that, he was gone.
………………………………
Five Hours Later…
Hospital Room
His request had been approved by Minelli. It had shocked the hell out of him when Lisbon and Cho had been brought in and instructed to stay put with him. Cho had seemed as agitated as he had been before they’d arrived. He didn’t blame him. Lisbon, however, was quiet and still. She followed the doctor’s orders and laid down on one of the empty beds.
“She okay?” Jane asked quietly as he approached Cho, his eyes staying on Lisbon as her eyes closed.
“She panicked when they tried to look her over,” Cho said calmly. “The doctors gave her a mild sedative to keep her calm.”
“Why?”
“The nurse that was with me said something about there being a new nurse in there and how she’d have to talk to him about restraining patients,” Cho responded. “Something made her snap. I guess that was it.”
Jane frowned. “She’s okay…physically though, right?”
“As far as I know.”
He moved away from the door where Cho was standing vigil, staring out the window. Jane wasn’t sure if he was waiting for word on Van Pelt and Rigsby or if he was just trying to catch sight of Minelli. He really didn’t care right now.
Lisbon’s head had gauze wrapped around it and her face was speckled with dried blood where the glass shards had cut her skin. He noticed her arm, her shirt’s sleeve had been removed and about five inches from the shoulder down on her arm was wrapped up neatly. None of them had gotten a change of clothes yet. Mainly it was due to the fact that they were all being held prisoner in the hospital.
He sat down on the edge of the bed Lisbon was lying on. He stared down at her and found her green eyes opening to look into his eyes. “You okay?” he asked quietly.
“The doctor said that he’s not sure if they’re going to make it,” she whispered.
She was worried.
He didn’t blame her.
He was worried.
This was his family. He couldn’t lose Rigsby and Van Pelt. CBI didn’t deserve to lose them either. They couldn’t die…not yet…not before they both finally admitted what truly lay in their hearts. Jane looked away from her. He could feel the heavy tears in his eyes trying to fall of their own accord.
“He said Dumar… I heard him, Jane. I’m positive.”
Her voice was soft, calm, and yet confident. She knew what she was saying. She was firm in her belief that she’d heard Red John. He didn’t know why he wouldn’t have heard it.
“Dumar’s dead, Lisbon,” Jane pointed out.
“I know,” she whispered. “But he was close to Red John. He’s coming after us for revenge…”
“He was already coming after me,” Jane told her. “I killed Dumar.”
“When we were in the basement of that farm,” Lisbon told him, staring right at him. “He gave us the chance to give up. He said that Red John would make it quick…that we wouldn’t suffer…”
“You think that Red John is doing this as punishment…this is our suffering?” Jane asked, amazed at what Lisbon was saying. Not only was he floored at the fact that she was making the theory, but also at the fact that she thought that it was so sound.
It couldn’t be.
His vision suddenly blurred and his heart started to pound as his brain raced. It was like every memory that involved Red John and any Red John-related cases came flooding back through his brain in one fluid motion. It was almost like having his life flash before his eyes. The tears rolled from his eyes, down his cheeks, and landed on her.
“Oh my God…” Jane whispered.
Jane’s thoughts were suddenly cancelled when Lisbon’s hand against his face jolted him from those thoughts. She was right. Lisbon was absolutely right.
What was the one thing in the world currently that he loved the most?
Teresa Lisbon. Whether she knew it or not, she was the current love of his life. He’d just admitted it to himself, so how did Red John even know? Or was it merely because that was the person in CBI he was closest to? Lisbon was able to read him and see through his cloak and dagger tricks.
Red John had been making him suffer. It had been horrendous and cruel. It had been like being killed over and over again. He wished it was him, though… He hated that it was Lisbon involved as Red John’s victim.
“Jane?”
Silence.
“Jane?”
His head turned to her. It was like the world had been cleared and all confusion had been lifted. It was almost dazzling in the beauty of the clearness of it all. “I’m sorry…”
“Rigsby and Van Pelt are going to be okay,” Lisbon told him.
His eyes fell to her hand that had moved, she was holding onto the cross pendant she wore. She had faith that their two friends would pull through. Jane just wondered if her faith was enough for what they were facing…for what they’d be facing… Would her faith keep her alive?
He’d die a thousand agonizing deaths happily if only to keep her safe.
“This is my fault,” he whispered.
She pulled him to her, and he allowed it. His head rested against her shoulder and the upper half of his body reclined onto the bed. He couldn’t relax though. He felt an arm keep him in place and her forehead pressed against his.
“This isn’t your fault,” she whispered.
He closed his eyes and let tears fall silently. He just listened to her breathe and savored the small reward of her touch and presence. It allowed him to remember that she was alive. Red John hadn’t succeeded in killing her. Lisbon was strong and she remembered…she was there.
……………………………….
The Next Morning…
Hospital Room
“They’re in the ICU,” the doctor reported. “The next forty-eight hours are critical.”
It was the basic stuff that doctors said. Jane swore that he’d heard that same speech from an episode of “ER” or perhaps it was from another show. It always seemed like forty-eight hours was the favorite timeframe to give people in everything… Life, death, kidnapping…
“We should have woken her up,” Cho told Jane.
“Let her sleep,” Jane told him. He looked back over his shoulder to check to make sure she was still fast asleep. They’d kept the lights off and kept their voices down in order to allow her to continue to rest. The doctors still weren’t sure if she had a concussion. Jane was still shocked that they’d declared Cho concussion-free even with his beautiful head injury.
“She would have wanted to know.”
“She will. Her being awake isn’t going to change anything, but her knowing the information a bit sooner.”
“I wish they’d let us out,” Cho said watching.
They’d been Minelli watching all morning, but he hadn’t walked by. He wasn’t sure if there was a plan in place. He just figured there’d be pounding on the door and yelling. After all, no one ever wanted a commotion in a hospital.
“You still think this is all connected to Red John, don’t you?” Cho asked after several minutes of silence between them.
Jane turned to Cho. “Who else could it be?”
“You’re that sure?”
“Absolutely,” Jane told him.
Cho just nodded in response.
Silence passed between them again for some time before anyone spoke.
“I heard what you and Lisbon said last night,” Cho said. “About Dumar…but then wouldn’t they have targeted our vehicle?”
Jane shrugged. “Maybe he thought that he’d kill one of us before he wanted it done. Doing this…it’s more painful when people you care about are seriously injured. When part of your family is hanging by a thread…”
Cho just stared at him.
“What? Is it that horrible that I consider Rigsby and Van Pelt family?” Jane asked.
“What about me and Lisbon?” Cho questioned.
“I feel like you’re all my family,” Jane admitted levelly as he stared at Cho before looking over his shoulder towards where Lisbon lay.
“Maybe that’s dangerous, not sure I like it.”
“Noted,” Jane said simply before letting out a sigh and returning to Lisbon’s bedside. It was already ten in the morning, but Jane hadn’t seen any harm in letting her sleep later.
………………………….
An Hour Later…
Hospital Room
Minelli had been kind enough to bring them various books, magazines, movies, and foodstuffs to keep them in the room for a while longer. Of course, he’d ignored their requests to be allowed to leave citing that this was safer for them all.
“Has there been any word?”
Her voice was barely a whisper, but it had caught his attention. He pulled his gaze away from the book he’d been reading and to her. She still looked like she was stuck in a sleepy fog, but her green eyes were open and staring back at him. Jane closed the book on his lap and reached out to move hair out of her face.
“They’re in ICU,” Jane told her. “The doctors just say that we have to wait… That the next two days are critical.”
“When did the doctor come by?” she questioned.
“A couple of hours ago.”
Lisbon sat up. “You should have woken me.”
“I said that,” Cho spoke up from where he continued to look out the door’s window.
“It wouldn’t have done any good,” Jane countered. “You needed the rest.”
“Must be the drugs they gave me last night,” Lisbon muttered.
Jane tilted his head as he studied her. A nurse had already been by to change her bandages. He still didn’t understand how Cho had gotten away with no fun gauze pad stuck around his head once they’d gotten to the hospital. “Maybe it was just because it was what you needed.” After a moment, he asked quietly. “Why did they sedate you?” He’d gotten Cho’s version but he didn’t know if it was the accurate version of events.
“They were trying to hold me down to stitch up my head,” Lisbon started. “My arm started to hurt…I looked up and thought I saw Dumar… I guess I struggled too much.”
“You screamed and yelled too,” Cho offered.
He watched as Lisbon frowned, but Jane just smiled down at her. “Well, you’re safe… Minelli is holding us captive in this room until he sees fit. It’d be nice if he brought us some clothes, though…”
“Agreed,” she said as she rubbed her face with her hands.
“Maybe he’ll listen to you,” Jane offered hopefully.
“Doubt it,” Cho said.
……………………………….
TBC…