"The Man in the Hospital" - Chapter 6
Title: The Man in the Hospital
Author: Shannon - shannyfish
Disclaimer: I do not own “Bones” or its characters, Fox does. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Pick up from the Season Four Finale - plain and simple.
Warning: Severe spoilers for “The End of the Beginning” - Season Four Finale episode! You have been warned!
Chapter 6 - “Day Two and Three”
Author’s Note:
new music videos on BonesTube - profile name: shannyfish J If you would rather download directly then say so in the comment!
chapter 6 - “Bring on the Wonder” - Susan Enan
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Markoksa, Peru
Morning.
Brennan was up before any of the others, she’d taken the opportunity to talk to the guide. She’d managed to convince him to leave her behind and promised that she’d follow in a few hours, but would camp on her own. He’d agreed, though he’d seemed hesitant. She’d gotten what she’d wanted and would be happy for it soon enough.
It wasn’t about getting what she wanted; it was about being able to enjoy her trip and trying to forget.
How could she forget?
She let her head fall into her hands.
Booth.
Brennan felt like she should have brought along a satellite phone, at least then she’d be able to check in on how Booth was doing. She even strangely felt like chatting with Angela, she didn’t care what they talked about. Anything would work for her at the moment. She just felt like she needed to hear her friend’s voice.
Was she lonely?
She realized that she wasn’t used to being alone anymore. In the last few years she’d become accustomed to having someone with her almost constantly.
Booth.
Brennan sighed and looked off into the distance, she heard whiney businessmen on vacations being helped up onto the saddle horses and mules. Starting at this point, this would be the journey...the hike...the beginning of what she’d signed up for. They were weak. They were pathetic. None of them would know true adventure, true discovery, or truly what it meant to be in nature.
Soon they’d be gone.
Soon there’d be silence.
Soon she’d be alone.
Maybe that was what she needed. To be alone. To learn what it meant to be alone, what it was like. She’d become soft. Being partners with Booth had changed her life. Not only her perception of living life, but a lot of things. She’d thought about it a lot over the past few hours as she’d waited for the camp to wake and pack up.
Her social skills.
Her behavior.
Her attitude towards a lot of things.
Her family.
Her clothes.
Her heart.
Her soul.
And maybe even her mind...
Brennan couldn’t be sure about the latter, but she was pretty sure that it was a pretty sure thing. Booth had changed her. She’d been happy with herself before, at least she thought she had been. Was she any better for the changes? For perceiving changes in people? For perceiving emotion and body language in people more than she had previously? Did it make her soft? Did it make her science soft?
She was confused.
She knew it, which was even more confusing and even painful. Brennan didn’t know what direction to take her thoughts in. At the moment, she wished to just turn it all off. To just concentrate on her journey. But why couldn’t she? Booth, she knew, would probably say that there was something unconscious that was nagging her. Angela would agree with him, and even possibly Cam. She didn’t care what Sweets said, whether he’d agree or not.
“You’re sure?”
The voice was deep and accented. She didn’t look up at him, she just nodded. “Thank you. I truly appreciate the opportunity you’re giving me.”
“Be safe.”
“I promise.”
With that, the camp was off on its way to its next location. She’d be left in the peace and comfort of the natural surroundings of Peru. No complaints would be heard. Brennan planned on staying there for about two hours. Just enough time for the group to get far enough ahead of her, even with their rests, that she wouldn’t run into them. That was the goal at least.
Pulling her backpack towards her, she unlatched it and flipped it open. Inside she found her map and removed it. Unfolding it, she was thankful that she’d already mapped out the route for herself. She’d be heading towards Choquekiclla and then on to Soraypampa, or at least close to it. She didn’t want to camp with the group, which was their camping area. From there, she’d have a spectacular view of the Salkantay Mountain along with the glaciers nearby. She was looking forward to it.
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Make-Shift Campsite
Soraypampa, Peru
The hike to the area had been welcome and she’d found it very refreshing. She’d found an area to set up camp and had pulled out what food she had with her to eat a light dinner. Brennan didn’t need anything fancy. She knew how to survive on limited rations if she needed to.
Lying back on her sleeping bag, she stared up at the sky. Stars freckled the dark sky illuminated sky. She smiled upward. She missed seeing the naked and nature wonders of the night sky, the stars and the moon held up there together.
In D.C. there were too many lights. In the U.S. in general there was just so much light that was emitted that they lost all of the beautiful nature nightlights that the stars provided. It was simple, majestic, heartwarming, and even grounding. To think of how small she was compared to the stars. Sure, they looked small to her, but she knew the science. She knew how big they were, how hot they were, how old they were... It was amazing when you actually thought about it.
The science.
She missed explaining the science.
She missed Booth.
Brennan sighed and realized that she’d have somehow explained the science of stars. Booth would probably comment that they were a big ball of gas, like small suns, and she’d go off to correct him in scientific terms...and then they’d take the time to look at the star groupings. How the constellations represented the ancient world. How it all was one big circle. How the ancient world impacted them.
How small life truly was.
She felt sadness creeping into her whole, but she pulled in a deep chopping breath of air before getting into her sleeping bag. She stared up at the stars and decided maybe pushing Booth out of her mind wasn’t healthy...maybe it was okay. To imagine him there with her gave her some comfort. It reminded her of the time that her parents had left...imagining them coming home and having a proper Christmas with her and Russ had given her comfort and solace for a time...until she woke up the next morning.
It was a temporary and childish fix.
She was okay with that.
...why was she okay with that?
Brennan closed her eyes and let tears fall. Her life had become so confusing. Sometimes she wished that she was like she had been before she knew Booth. She’d had ignorance, but Brennan thought that that ignorance to the fast paced pop culture world had been okay... She had been okay with it.
“That’s the big dipper,” she whispered and pointed it out.
It hurt to get the words out, they broke a bit, but she managed. At least she could share her journey with someone, even if they were imaginary.
Maybe she was losing it...
Maybe she’d finally snapped.
She didn’t care. This kept her from feeling like she was going to break in half. Like she was going to tear and never mend. This made her feel whole.
The very thought of her Booth made her smile. She wondered if he’d complain about having a tent or not, of course with the view they would have...she didn’t see why he would. He’d get used to it at the very least.
Booth.
He’d still have his cocky belt buckle and his fantastically colored striped socks.
And she’d love it.
Staring up at the stars, she wondered if Booth could see even one twinkling in D.C. and if he were looking up at that very one, if he’d know she was thinking of him. That she missed him and wished that he were with her.
“Good night, Booth,” she whispered.
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Day Three
Pampa Japonesa
So far, her pace had been perfect. She hadn’t run into the group she’d started off with. She was fine with that. With the breathtaking view of the eternal glaciers above her, Brennan continued onward. There was still a ways to go. Today, she’d be hiking up through the Salcantay pass. With the elevation increasing, it made things a bit difficult, but she adjusted.
Elevation would be a lot to face on this journey.
The destination for the end of the day was Incachiriaska, which was supposed to be a meadow of some sort. Brennan had a feeling that that meant that she’d do some hiking back down in elevation. She wished that she’d brought along a topographical map instead of the basic one she had. At the moment, it would be more useful in judging the strain she’d be enduring for the day.
Nevertheless, she’d keep going.
Machu Picchu was her goal and she wasn’t going to stop now. She’d signed herself up for this, she could do it. She knew she could definitely do it without the touring group. Who needed a bilingual guide when she spoke both Spanish and English and could read a map? Who needed porters when she could carry her own things and could set up her own camp? Brennan didn’t need any of it. She needed the space.
And there was space.
There was almost too much space. It seemed like so much farther now, though she was sure it was just the loneliness. She’d pushed Booth to the back of her mind, convinced herself that it wasn’t healthy pretending he was there and even unhealthier to talk to him like he was.
She felt like she was losing her mind.
“You’re not,” she whispered to herself. Brennan knew that that would be what Booth would say. He’d say that it was okay. That she was only doing it to survive. He’d seen things...of course he had a brain tumor. She didn’t have that medical excuse.
What if Booth was right? What if the private had helped save him when the Gravedigger had stranded him on that doomed aircraft carrier?
Did she believe in that?
That was Booth’s religion. His ideas of God and angels and miracles. There was no science behind it. It couldn’t be logically explained. So, how could she trust it.
Booth would say, she thought. “That sometimes things can’t be explained by science,” she responded for him. “Like love...” Her words were just a whisper as she stopped and just stared up at the great Salcantay Mountain. She sighed and found that she was crying again. Tears fell down her face, but she left them, letting them fall where they wanted. “I wish you were here to see this, Booth.”
Sure, she’d taken pictures, but it wasn’t the same. Pictures couldn’t put you in her exact place with the exact same feelings and the gentle breeze that dried her tears.
Forcing herself to move, Brennan focused on where she needed to move towards. She fixated on a specific destination in front of her and started to move towards it. Right now all she wanted was to make it to the meadow and form her ‘camp’ for the night. It was useless though, she thought that every morning it would be easier. It wasn’t. She still wanted Booth.
They had a symbiotic relationship and she certainly wasn’t thriving without him.
Her heart was broken.
Her head was broken.
Her whole being felt broken.
Broken without Booth there.
Brennan hated feeling so dependent and so pathetic, but she did. She’d woven her life with his and now she’d tried to sever their ties with one quick pull of the string. It wasn’t that easy.
Nothing was easy.
Everything was just broken.
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TBC...