Updating...
I just recently found out that a very good friend of mine (HI KASHA) who I don't get to talk to very often keeps up with my life by reading my LJ. So I'm feeling obliged to update more regularly now. Good luck on your new job, Kasha!!!
Things have been better lately than they have been in a long time!! The Zoloft is helping more than I could have imagined and being in therapy is also VERY helpful. My therapist is a wonderful man who makes me feel like I'm actually worth something and the feelings/fears/obsessions I'm having aren't completely nuts.
I'm actually spending time with/taking care of Jacob on my own now, and I'm happier than I've been in as long as I can remember. My little one is SO FUCKING FUNNY!!! He's picking up words amazingly quickly...which I love except for when he marches around the house chanting "shit, shit, shit" but I guess that's my fault. His favorite TV show appears to be Dora the Explorer and everytime it comes on he either yells or whispers (he doesn't seem to have a "normal" voice) backpack. He also loves The Wiggles (Lord help me) and dances in front of the TV whenever they sing. Just so you don't think that all we do is watch TV, he loves his muscial toys and his "learning chair" that his grandma gave him for his birthday. His favorite game is hide and seek, closely followed by the game where he comes up to me, stomps his feet and then runs away expecting me to follow him. It just cracks him up.
Here's my AWW moment from him for this season. He went to spend the weekend with his grandpa last week and when he came home on Monday afternoon, I got him out of his carseat and picked him up. He wrapped his arms around my neck, put his head on my shoulder and started patting my arm. It just melted my heart!!! MY LITTLE BOY LOVES ME...HE MISSED ME!!! I'm so sappy.
On the marriage front...things are better than they have EVER been. We've actually been having a sex life lately...which anyone who knows me well knows is a BIG change. I don't know where it came from, but my sex drive has come back hugely. I think (and this is sad) I can honestly say that we've had more sex in the last two months than we have in the four year entirity of our marriage. Not only that but it's GREAT sex. I just can't seem to get enough of my wonderful husband and he's MUCH happier, I would think...LOL
I've also been on a clean house binge, which is also very much unlike me in the past. Zoloft is apparently a wonder drug, LOL Maybe it's just not smoking pot anymore, though. What a difference that can make...LOL