Exhibit B: Shadow Children
When I was a kid I joined a summer youth employment program. Basically they put pre-teens and teens into summer jobs. I was placed at Children's Place. It was a daycare program for kids who had been neglected and abused. Some of them were in foster care, and some had been returned to their parents with the order that they be at the school every day for monitoring. I ended up being there for 5 years. I loved those kids and my time there. This is about some of the kids who I remember the most or who I really bonded with.
Krystal was an adorable tiny blond with the brightest blue eyes you can imagine. She was one of the cutest kids I have ever seen. Krystal had been both abused and neglected. She was diagnosed with Attachment Disorder. I was told that she couldn't bond with anyone, but then she surprised everyone by becoming so close to me. We shared a birthday and I spent my 16th birthday with her. We had a party at the school and she gave me a bracelet she had made for me. Krystal was eventually adopted and her new mom and dad let me stay in touch for awhile but they gradually cut off my contact with her.
Diana was a pudgy little brunette with a bowl cut and a big personality. Lovable and bossy and very excited about the fact that she was being adopted. She was a little anxious about having her last name changed though. She was supposed to be on a diet but I frequently caught her in the kitchen swiping snacks. I felt bad for her but I understood that she had health issues and the weight loss would help with much of them. It was still hard to not sneak treats to her though.
Clifton and Michael were brothers. At 5 and 3 neither were potty trained and Clifton still couldn't talk. We called their parents Bonnie and Clyde. Criminal records a mile long and neither of them were mentally quite right. We were all heartbroken when a court chose to give them another chance with the boys. "Bonnie" was pregnant with twins and off drugs and I believe she really did want to be a good mom. But she didn't know how. One afternoon I was changing Clifton's diaper and saw bruises all over him. I went and got my boss and we asked Michael what happened. He told us that mom had spanked Clifton with a ball bat because he wet the bed. The kids never went home again. Their dad went to jail with a whole list of charges and somehow "Bonnie" stayed out of jail. Maybe because she was pregnant. She had supervised visits and really trusted my boss. One day after she had the twins she called the center and told me that my boss needed to come help her. One of the babies wouldn't eat and she didn't know what to do. I went there with my boss and I couldn't believe the mess. The apartment was horrible with food containers and dirty diapers everywhere. My boss took the bottle and the baby and then realized the milk was curdled. That is why the baby wasn't eating. He was out in the hospital but died from dehydration. The other twin went to immediate foster care and "Bonnie" and "Clyde" both lost all parental rights.
Johnny was a little tornado. The definition of a little boy. He had ADD so on top of being a typical boy he was even wilder and more daring. He was forever asking me to hold his glasses while he jumped from the swing or wanted to climb a tree. I spent the most time with him because I babysat him after work as well. Johnny had a sister but she was in a different foster home and not in our program. Johnny also had a nasty temper and threw the most awful tantrums. If I didn't sit in the floor and restrain him he;d hurt himself or break everything in sight. He was obsessed with the show Night Rider and watching it was the only time he was ever really still and quiet. Johnny loved his mom even after everything she had put him through and he wanted nothing more than to go home and for his family to be back together. He was heartbroken when he was told that his sister was going home but he wasn't. His mom wanted her back, but not him. How do you explain that to a 5 year old? It was what he'd been dreaming of and planning on. I was heartbroken for him and tried to get my parents to adopt him. I wanted to take care of him forever. I ran into him off and on in stores after I moved on to a new job and he was always full of hugs for me.
I wonder where all of these kids are now? What happened to them? Were they all adopted? Did they just disappear into the system? Because that is what happens. If there isn't a news story about them to grab ratings, these kids become our nation's shadow children. They are moved from home to home with no stability and no roots or security. Most foster parents do it for the money and very few really care about the kids. At 18 they are dumped out of the system with a small amount of money and just their belongings. Occasionally they get some help getting into a halfway house if one has room.
But what happens to them then? Where did my kids go? The kids I watched grow and that I loved? When did they just disappear and did anyone care?
Krystal was an adorable tiny blond with the brightest blue eyes you can imagine. She was one of the cutest kids I have ever seen. Krystal had been both abused and neglected. She was diagnosed with Attachment Disorder. I was told that she couldn't bond with anyone, but then she surprised everyone by becoming so close to me. We shared a birthday and I spent my 16th birthday with her. We had a party at the school and she gave me a bracelet she had made for me. Krystal was eventually adopted and her new mom and dad let me stay in touch for awhile but they gradually cut off my contact with her.
Diana was a pudgy little brunette with a bowl cut and a big personality. Lovable and bossy and very excited about the fact that she was being adopted. She was a little anxious about having her last name changed though. She was supposed to be on a diet but I frequently caught her in the kitchen swiping snacks. I felt bad for her but I understood that she had health issues and the weight loss would help with much of them. It was still hard to not sneak treats to her though.
Clifton and Michael were brothers. At 5 and 3 neither were potty trained and Clifton still couldn't talk. We called their parents Bonnie and Clyde. Criminal records a mile long and neither of them were mentally quite right. We were all heartbroken when a court chose to give them another chance with the boys. "Bonnie" was pregnant with twins and off drugs and I believe she really did want to be a good mom. But she didn't know how. One afternoon I was changing Clifton's diaper and saw bruises all over him. I went and got my boss and we asked Michael what happened. He told us that mom had spanked Clifton with a ball bat because he wet the bed. The kids never went home again. Their dad went to jail with a whole list of charges and somehow "Bonnie" stayed out of jail. Maybe because she was pregnant. She had supervised visits and really trusted my boss. One day after she had the twins she called the center and told me that my boss needed to come help her. One of the babies wouldn't eat and she didn't know what to do. I went there with my boss and I couldn't believe the mess. The apartment was horrible with food containers and dirty diapers everywhere. My boss took the bottle and the baby and then realized the milk was curdled. That is why the baby wasn't eating. He was out in the hospital but died from dehydration. The other twin went to immediate foster care and "Bonnie" and "Clyde" both lost all parental rights.
Johnny was a little tornado. The definition of a little boy. He had ADD so on top of being a typical boy he was even wilder and more daring. He was forever asking me to hold his glasses while he jumped from the swing or wanted to climb a tree. I spent the most time with him because I babysat him after work as well. Johnny had a sister but she was in a different foster home and not in our program. Johnny also had a nasty temper and threw the most awful tantrums. If I didn't sit in the floor and restrain him he;d hurt himself or break everything in sight. He was obsessed with the show Night Rider and watching it was the only time he was ever really still and quiet. Johnny loved his mom even after everything she had put him through and he wanted nothing more than to go home and for his family to be back together. He was heartbroken when he was told that his sister was going home but he wasn't. His mom wanted her back, but not him. How do you explain that to a 5 year old? It was what he'd been dreaming of and planning on. I was heartbroken for him and tried to get my parents to adopt him. I wanted to take care of him forever. I ran into him off and on in stores after I moved on to a new job and he was always full of hugs for me.
I wonder where all of these kids are now? What happened to them? Were they all adopted? Did they just disappear into the system? Because that is what happens. If there isn't a news story about them to grab ratings, these kids become our nation's shadow children. They are moved from home to home with no stability and no roots or security. Most foster parents do it for the money and very few really care about the kids. At 18 they are dumped out of the system with a small amount of money and just their belongings. Occasionally they get some help getting into a halfway house if one has room.
But what happens to them then? Where did my kids go? The kids I watched grow and that I loved? When did they just disappear and did anyone care?