i hate the way he treat's me why do i stay ....
ya know some times i wonder why i even come home from work ... why i look forward to 515 so i can go home .... from the time i walk threw the door till i fall asleep ... there has got to be at least a million things i will do wrong ...and he will bitch about .... why do i bother .. the fact is im usualy not even the one he is mad at but im the on that is there so i eat it all .... now one cares that i worked 6 out of seven days a week or that i work all day and night ..work all day ... cook clean luandry all night .. and if its not done then i suck becouse god for fucking bid .. im tired or run down ... were does every one get the impretion i should jump when told ?? sorry that's not me ... some times i look at my life and just wish i could blow my brains out cuss this is not were i ever wished to be ... how did i get hear and why do i stay ... it's not like i need him i never have every thing i or we have i did no one but me ... i could walk tomorrow and be ok ... but then there is mark what would that do to him ???? i think i deal becouse i was alway pissed i did not have my mom and dad ... i mean allan tryed and he was good at it ... but he was not my dad and i new it ... i could see it in his eyes yes he loved me but as much as he did the boy's im not so sure .... i dont what mark to feel that ... so i stay and deal with life as it is ... i mean i do love him .. but im not so sure i could not get over just get over that fast .. if given the opertunity ....