(no subject)
Well, its been 4 weeks since I had the baby and I am do back to work soon. Not that I feel like going and leaving new little Stephen Allan Jones. IM kind sad over it. but seeing as i am dead broke and all my credit is Max i guess i have to go back. of course if i had help and did not have to do it all o my own maybe it would have been esyer but no one wishes to help just live off me and suck me dry no hep with the kid no help with the bills just take take take ... and when i say have nothing to give i get nothing but grief like i am not trying hard to get him every thing he wishes.. i worked so hard to get hear. to get us every thing the house the car's making sure the kids have all they need and know because he just does not care for any one but him i am about to loss it all. and it does not matter if i explain it ..its still give me give me .. and at 19 years old still crying if e does not get what he wishes .. nice hu how did i let it get this far ... i should have seen this no help shit years ago and walked away. know i have 2 kids that i do not wish to grow up with ot a father but i do not know how much more i can take .. when is some one going to take care of me? i need to know i can count on some one to .. i need to know i am more than bank and a safe haven because i pick up he check and have made it all work up to this point. i guess this is just not something i will ever get no one will ever take care of me. no one will ever care if i am run down and cant take the preacher any more ...or if i am loosing every thing i worked so hard for for so many years .. but no one asks me if i need help just what i can do for them and i always do what they need and fix there life's as mine falls apart in front of my eyes. and yet i help them and let my own shit keep falling. maybe i should just sell the house and get a small cheep apartment with no yard for the kids and they can share a room insted of the having there own. and i could even fill bankrupts and relay ruin my life and just sit back on welfare and get fat ... at this point it just does not seam to matter every time i get a head i fall back twice as far and no one is ever there ti pick me up .. come to think of it no one has even tried to pick me up in about 7 or 8 years.. ever since i lost my Mom .. she was the only one that i could talk to and she was the only on how ever made it make since. or made it better showed me i would work if i just keep trying .. but i am tiered know and i dont wish to try any more. how do people go threw fife