"much like suffocating..."
i get so pissed off sometimes... that's really an understatement. christmas eve was perfect it seemed like. pat was here, my brother, jimmy showed up a day early so patrick got to meet him, and amazingly enough, jimmy liked him... this makes me very happy. plus, patrick settled all that jay and fain shit with lee, in a good way at that. but then he left...sad face... and christmas sucked. i was surrounded by the people who make me feel the most like shit as they possibly can constantly, my "family". it sucks that i have to feel so out of place around the people that are supposed to make me most comfortable. then pat came to see me yesterday. i was having a bad day, and then he called me at work, right as i was leaving to go sit at my mom's store all night, to tell me he was on his way. he made it all better. that sounds lame i'm sure, but he makes me feel safe, loved, perfect. today, i found yet more things that i despise about my mother, and it was so hard for me to just bite my tongue and pretend to agree. for a while i thought i just wanted to hurry up and start my life with pat to get away from her. funny. at least now i know it's realy; that's just a plus. love.
shae.
shae.