thoughts & rambles
so i heard that Avril got engaged. That so cool, good on her, glad someones happy haha no its okay, im allowed to be bitter and twisted lol
It seems everyone is getting engaged so young, all around 18 or 19. (like my ex...he's 19 shes 18..pft at them...) I mean, alright, if i was with someone now, and knew he was 'the one', and he asked me to marry him, i would say yes. I'd probably wait a while to actually get married...hmm...whatever...no im not jealous at all...haha
i had a sing tonight, or should i say, i tried to. Its kinda like i dont have much control over my voice. I think (im hoping) its coz i havent sung properly for months, and my muscles have become weak. Please someone tell me i am right. Coz it really upsets me when i sing and im not happy with it. I had to stop myself from crying so many times tonight.
Singing is my life, and yeah okay, i so take it forgranted at time, probably too much, but that doesnt mean i dont love it. I more than love it, i cant even describe it. Okay here, if i couldnt do music as a career, my life wouldnt be worth living, coz i would be constantly unhappy and unfurfilled. I just need more confidence in my voice, and also myself. i really do.
I also gotta lose some weight. i go between 50 and 55kilos. Im only 5'1. ew i hate it. I really wanna lose some weight. if i could have anyones body, id like, i dunno. I think Avril has a great body. Id like to bit fit like that. I think if i was as skinny as she is, id kinda have the same body shape, coz i also have kinda broad shoulders, and im a short ass lol i dunno.
I wanna start jogging around my backyard. I am so not motivated though. never during the day anyway. I would jog at night if we had lights all around our house, coz im mega scared of the dark lol when i do start, im gonna bring banjo with me. he'll love it lol we can burn some of his enegry...crazy little doggy lol *i heart him* lol
Oh god, i cannt express enough how much id like a boyfriend. Growing up, i didnt have a Dad, as he died when i was 2. But i have always had a close male friend/boyfriend. From since i was like 2 til 18. Now i dont have one. Actually i do have a male friend that is really great. But it hink its just that i want a boyfriend. Someone to share things with, to hug, to kiss, to *cougg* nevermind *cough* lol just to be there with. To love. fucking hell is that too much to ask really?! come on, where is my mr wonderful?! lol
It seems everyone is getting engaged so young, all around 18 or 19. (like my ex...he's 19 shes 18..pft at them...) I mean, alright, if i was with someone now, and knew he was 'the one', and he asked me to marry him, i would say yes. I'd probably wait a while to actually get married...hmm...whatever...no im not jealous at all...haha
i had a sing tonight, or should i say, i tried to. Its kinda like i dont have much control over my voice. I think (im hoping) its coz i havent sung properly for months, and my muscles have become weak. Please someone tell me i am right. Coz it really upsets me when i sing and im not happy with it. I had to stop myself from crying so many times tonight.
Singing is my life, and yeah okay, i so take it forgranted at time, probably too much, but that doesnt mean i dont love it. I more than love it, i cant even describe it. Okay here, if i couldnt do music as a career, my life wouldnt be worth living, coz i would be constantly unhappy and unfurfilled. I just need more confidence in my voice, and also myself. i really do.
I also gotta lose some weight. i go between 50 and 55kilos. Im only 5'1. ew i hate it. I really wanna lose some weight. if i could have anyones body, id like, i dunno. I think Avril has a great body. Id like to bit fit like that. I think if i was as skinny as she is, id kinda have the same body shape, coz i also have kinda broad shoulders, and im a short ass lol i dunno.
I wanna start jogging around my backyard. I am so not motivated though. never during the day anyway. I would jog at night if we had lights all around our house, coz im mega scared of the dark lol when i do start, im gonna bring banjo with me. he'll love it lol we can burn some of his enegry...crazy little doggy lol *i heart him* lol
Oh god, i cannt express enough how much id like a boyfriend. Growing up, i didnt have a Dad, as he died when i was 2. But i have always had a close male friend/boyfriend. From since i was like 2 til 18. Now i dont have one. Actually i do have a male friend that is really great. But it hink its just that i want a boyfriend. Someone to share things with, to hug, to kiss, to *cougg* nevermind *cough* lol just to be there with. To love. fucking hell is that too much to ask really?! come on, where is my mr wonderful?! lol