(no subject)
i havnt been feeling myself lately
i dont know what the fucks going on
everything seems to be going downhill in every aspect of my life right now
i dont want anything to change i want everything to stay like it was before this stress forever
i'm sick of thinking about this university bullshit
i hate stress
i feel like everyone has there whole life planned out and i for some reason am the only one who has no clue what the hell is going on with me and my future.
fuck
all i wanted was to get out of this hell hole better known as my house and now thats probably not going to happen
i dont want to go to college but my parents insist i do, why the fuck did i waste my time and bust my ass in university classes in highschool to go to college.
it just makes no sense
i have felt like crying everyday for the last 2 weeks
id like to say i'm PMSing but no, that excuss ranout a while ago
most pathetic thing ever
i couldnt even tell anyone why i want to cry the list could go on or there could just not be one .. that dosnt make sense but to me it does
i dont even know anymore this is basically a jumble of shit i'm feeling.
and i think lately everyone thinks i'm being a bitch
which makes me feel so bad because it means i'm taking it out on other people
which is the last thing i thought i would ever do
but what do i say to them
its not me at all
well aperantly lately it is but its not the real me
i'm sorry for whoever this applys to for acting the way i have if i'v been a bitch or whatever
i hope everyone knows its not intentional
everyone means the world to me which is part of the reason why this entry is being posted
i wish i could stop time and live this year over and over
i like where i am right now with my friends and everything i dont want to grow up or move on get old or make new friends
i have come so acustom to where i am and the friends i have and have been with for so long i cant even imagine my life without them
how lame is this journal entry
i dont know i guess it would help if a few people were feeling the same way but i have yet to find them
its pretty hard to understand all of the above anyways
so i'd say thats about enough of this for now
thats just an update hopefully the next one will be a little more uplifting
but the odds of this at this point in time are unlikely
i thought grade 12 was gunna be a fun easy party year
its actually the complete opposite
parties are minimal
and its full of stress
i dont know what the fucks going on
everything seems to be going downhill in every aspect of my life right now
i dont want anything to change i want everything to stay like it was before this stress forever
i'm sick of thinking about this university bullshit
i hate stress
i feel like everyone has there whole life planned out and i for some reason am the only one who has no clue what the hell is going on with me and my future.
fuck
all i wanted was to get out of this hell hole better known as my house and now thats probably not going to happen
i dont want to go to college but my parents insist i do, why the fuck did i waste my time and bust my ass in university classes in highschool to go to college.
it just makes no sense
i have felt like crying everyday for the last 2 weeks
id like to say i'm PMSing but no, that excuss ranout a while ago
most pathetic thing ever
i couldnt even tell anyone why i want to cry the list could go on or there could just not be one .. that dosnt make sense but to me it does
i dont even know anymore this is basically a jumble of shit i'm feeling.
and i think lately everyone thinks i'm being a bitch
which makes me feel so bad because it means i'm taking it out on other people
which is the last thing i thought i would ever do
but what do i say to them
its not me at all
well aperantly lately it is but its not the real me
i'm sorry for whoever this applys to for acting the way i have if i'v been a bitch or whatever
i hope everyone knows its not intentional
everyone means the world to me which is part of the reason why this entry is being posted
i wish i could stop time and live this year over and over
i like where i am right now with my friends and everything i dont want to grow up or move on get old or make new friends
i have come so acustom to where i am and the friends i have and have been with for so long i cant even imagine my life without them
how lame is this journal entry
i dont know i guess it would help if a few people were feeling the same way but i have yet to find them
its pretty hard to understand all of the above anyways
so i'd say thats about enough of this for now
thats just an update hopefully the next one will be a little more uplifting
but the odds of this at this point in time are unlikely
i thought grade 12 was gunna be a fun easy party year
its actually the complete opposite
parties are minimal
and its full of stress