Daily Post
Ok I am here to update everyone of whats been going on since sunday... or the last time I posted... sunday.
From the second sunday started I thought it would be good but thingsd ended up taking a turn for the worst. I got into a fight with Sarah about stupid shit and that was between the hours of one and three olock. Then my mom came into my room at like seven thirty and told me it was time to leave. I didn't sleep after talking to Sarah and left to go watch little munchkins until wednesday. On the way to Chesterfield I realized I hadnt gotten the money I needed to put a new hole in my face. Im still sixy dollors short from working june thirteenth. thats the last day i worked before the hospital. I was feel like complete and udder shit from talking to sarah and i think before that on saturday from talking to matt(bates). So every night in chesterfield i slept on the couch and didnt end up getting to bed until like three everymorning just to wake up to a two year old jumping on top of me saying "I pooped". i love those kids so much but i think i need to be alone to think for awhile so i did that durring nap time or while they were at summer camp. they would leave at around eight and not come back until like four. Ashley and Matt came and visited me on monday it was nice to hang out with them since i felt so standed and shit-tastic. I guess i just had alot on my mind, such as things that had been said on sunday and saturday and still thinking about matt alot(not bates) and my current situation with my friends and what needs to be changed with my life and how i need money.
people always say that money doesnt make the world go 'round but i dont know if i always agree with them. it seems like alot of the things that have been bothering me lately can be solved with money. it seems like money can make me happy. money can send me to FL. money can just slove everything but ive just got to convince myself it isnt true.
i need a hoby so when my friends arnt around or are working ill have somthing to do. ashley got a job and sarah is trying to get one at strawberrys. matt works too. amy works. jesus christ im the only one with out a fucking job. but i dont want to work all the time.
im trying to help my brother get his licence he needs it so i can get a parking space. ill be pissed if i dont get some this year. i guess i could always ask matt to pick me up in the morning and get a ride home with someone else. i hate bummin' rides off people though. i think if i didnt need people for anything things would be awesome.
i think i just need to forget about matt. i thought he wanted to start to talk again but i still havnt heard from him. i guess im just still hoping but you know what they say, hope is wasted on the hopless. im trying not to wear so much black lately too. it seems like it pisses people off but i shouldnt care what other people think.
i havnt done stupid shit(and i dont nessicarily mean drugs to all your... people that read this) in a while even though i want too but i know if anyone found out i would get my ass kicked. if anyone knew what im intentions were i would get my ass kicked... cuz everyone cares so much right. i think i just need to get my life back in order. i need to do some soul searching. i need to keep my thought to myself. i think from now on im only going to write what people want to hear in here.
i guess i still miss matt though and i still want him back even though i dont think its going to happen. i think he hates me. i know i shouldnt care what he things but god i just cant help it. i miss him alot though. i still think about him often, i guess i just need to take my own advise and let him go you know. i just need to fix all my problems and i think i know how. just need to make a few phone calls and....
yeah i was supposed to go camping with Sarah and Matt this weekend but matt had to work and sarah (i guess) didnt want to go camping with me without matt. i guess shes still pissed even though we talked on the phone for a while. i dont know i dont know whats going on.
From the second sunday started I thought it would be good but thingsd ended up taking a turn for the worst. I got into a fight with Sarah about stupid shit and that was between the hours of one and three olock. Then my mom came into my room at like seven thirty and told me it was time to leave. I didn't sleep after talking to Sarah and left to go watch little munchkins until wednesday. On the way to Chesterfield I realized I hadnt gotten the money I needed to put a new hole in my face. Im still sixy dollors short from working june thirteenth. thats the last day i worked before the hospital. I was feel like complete and udder shit from talking to sarah and i think before that on saturday from talking to matt(bates). So every night in chesterfield i slept on the couch and didnt end up getting to bed until like three everymorning just to wake up to a two year old jumping on top of me saying "I pooped". i love those kids so much but i think i need to be alone to think for awhile so i did that durring nap time or while they were at summer camp. they would leave at around eight and not come back until like four. Ashley and Matt came and visited me on monday it was nice to hang out with them since i felt so standed and shit-tastic. I guess i just had alot on my mind, such as things that had been said on sunday and saturday and still thinking about matt alot(not bates) and my current situation with my friends and what needs to be changed with my life and how i need money.
people always say that money doesnt make the world go 'round but i dont know if i always agree with them. it seems like alot of the things that have been bothering me lately can be solved with money. it seems like money can make me happy. money can send me to FL. money can just slove everything but ive just got to convince myself it isnt true.
i need a hoby so when my friends arnt around or are working ill have somthing to do. ashley got a job and sarah is trying to get one at strawberrys. matt works too. amy works. jesus christ im the only one with out a fucking job. but i dont want to work all the time.
im trying to help my brother get his licence he needs it so i can get a parking space. ill be pissed if i dont get some this year. i guess i could always ask matt to pick me up in the morning and get a ride home with someone else. i hate bummin' rides off people though. i think if i didnt need people for anything things would be awesome.
i think i just need to forget about matt. i thought he wanted to start to talk again but i still havnt heard from him. i guess im just still hoping but you know what they say, hope is wasted on the hopless. im trying not to wear so much black lately too. it seems like it pisses people off but i shouldnt care what other people think.
i havnt done stupid shit(and i dont nessicarily mean drugs to all your... people that read this) in a while even though i want too but i know if anyone found out i would get my ass kicked. if anyone knew what im intentions were i would get my ass kicked... cuz everyone cares so much right. i think i just need to get my life back in order. i need to do some soul searching. i need to keep my thought to myself. i think from now on im only going to write what people want to hear in here.
i guess i still miss matt though and i still want him back even though i dont think its going to happen. i think he hates me. i know i shouldnt care what he things but god i just cant help it. i miss him alot though. i still think about him often, i guess i just need to take my own advise and let him go you know. i just need to fix all my problems and i think i know how. just need to make a few phone calls and....
yeah i was supposed to go camping with Sarah and Matt this weekend but matt had to work and sarah (i guess) didnt want to go camping with me without matt. i guess shes still pissed even though we talked on the phone for a while. i dont know i dont know whats going on.