All Kinds of Stressed
Well, I tried to give in my two weeks notice. My boss of course wanted to talk about it infront of three of my coworkers. Not very tactful.
I felt pressured trying to explain myself infront of four people all together, and caved under that pressure and said I'd stay.
He said he'd schedule me differently, that I wouldn't have to work with her, and that if I was still having problems with this girl, he would cut her hours.
But I can't do it. I just wanna move on. I know I already said yes to him, and I hate being indecisive and inconsistent. But I am not happy with the situation.
So, I'm still going to job hunt. I've got two coffee places in mind. Wolf Tracks (where our friend Lindsey works) and Higher Grounds.
I have to look for places within walking distance because I can't drive, it's a small town split by a mountain and there is no public transport. So I'm going to talk to Lindsey and see if they can train me on my days off from Subway for the first two weeks, until I finish my obligatory time there. I am going to either phone Ralph tmrw, or give him my letter on Tuesday.
I'm also stressed about these new people who moved in across the parking lot.
Both of them work at subway now, they're a couple. I work with the girl, Melissa, and Wayne, her boyfriend works downtown.
It's been three days and already I wanna move. When I work with her, all she wants to do is hang out, and at the end of every shift "what are you doing tonight?". And then when he comes in, to chat, he's "why don't you come over and visit, come on".
I keep saying "I know I talk alot, but I am not social. I hate being social, so I probably won't knock on your door. I just like spending time to myself, and when I can, with my boyfriend."
When they asked if they could come over I said "well, not anytime soon, my house is messy, I don't have time to clean, and if you knocked on my door I probably wouldn't answer".
What did they do today.
Knocked on my door.
Uhgggggg I know it's weird, I know it's mean, but I didn't answer. I couldn't. People coming into my house, clean or dirty, makes me nervous, stressed out and puts me in a bad mood.
They watch for when me and eric come home. They yell off their porch for us to come visit "why don't you guys come over!?". And I'm getting to the point where I want to say "Because we don't want too. Because after working allday with you, the last thing I want to do is spend my free time with you as well. I just wanna go home, be with my boyfriend and me and him do our thing."
After three days I'm afraid to come home. I don't want to go to work. As always the only sancturary is the Car. A place to escape from all of this. From this town, these people, and these problems. But I hate that I should have to feel violated for coming into my home.
Man, I hate neighbors. I miss being in the anonymous city. I miss work with 200 people and being able to chose who to talk to, instead of working with just 5ppl all together and being forced to talk out of boredom. I need my anonmynity back and my privacy.
I need a city in which to hide and be seen as no one.
I felt pressured trying to explain myself infront of four people all together, and caved under that pressure and said I'd stay.
He said he'd schedule me differently, that I wouldn't have to work with her, and that if I was still having problems with this girl, he would cut her hours.
But I can't do it. I just wanna move on. I know I already said yes to him, and I hate being indecisive and inconsistent. But I am not happy with the situation.
So, I'm still going to job hunt. I've got two coffee places in mind. Wolf Tracks (where our friend Lindsey works) and Higher Grounds.
I have to look for places within walking distance because I can't drive, it's a small town split by a mountain and there is no public transport. So I'm going to talk to Lindsey and see if they can train me on my days off from Subway for the first two weeks, until I finish my obligatory time there. I am going to either phone Ralph tmrw, or give him my letter on Tuesday.
I'm also stressed about these new people who moved in across the parking lot.
Both of them work at subway now, they're a couple. I work with the girl, Melissa, and Wayne, her boyfriend works downtown.
It's been three days and already I wanna move. When I work with her, all she wants to do is hang out, and at the end of every shift "what are you doing tonight?". And then when he comes in, to chat, he's "why don't you come over and visit, come on".
I keep saying "I know I talk alot, but I am not social. I hate being social, so I probably won't knock on your door. I just like spending time to myself, and when I can, with my boyfriend."
When they asked if they could come over I said "well, not anytime soon, my house is messy, I don't have time to clean, and if you knocked on my door I probably wouldn't answer".
What did they do today.
Knocked on my door.
Uhgggggg I know it's weird, I know it's mean, but I didn't answer. I couldn't. People coming into my house, clean or dirty, makes me nervous, stressed out and puts me in a bad mood.
They watch for when me and eric come home. They yell off their porch for us to come visit "why don't you guys come over!?". And I'm getting to the point where I want to say "Because we don't want too. Because after working allday with you, the last thing I want to do is spend my free time with you as well. I just wanna go home, be with my boyfriend and me and him do our thing."
After three days I'm afraid to come home. I don't want to go to work. As always the only sancturary is the Car. A place to escape from all of this. From this town, these people, and these problems. But I hate that I should have to feel violated for coming into my home.
Man, I hate neighbors. I miss being in the anonymous city. I miss work with 200 people and being able to chose who to talk to, instead of working with just 5ppl all together and being forced to talk out of boredom. I need my anonmynity back and my privacy.
I need a city in which to hide and be seen as no one.