through the 4th wall
The other day I watched auditions for a short piece I'm directing in a production of short pieces. 7 directors watching the same actors. I think I'm the most actor-y of the directors, and I was struck during the post-audition discussion at how different my perceptions were. I was far more generous in my assessments. I don't think I dismissed anyone out-of-hand. But boy did the others. Sometimes we all agreed but often I couldn't believe we were talking about the same actor. It reminded me mildly of some TPS auditions I watched once.
A number of years ago I sat in the the Theater Puget Sound general auditions for a theater company I worked with. It's an audition where representatives from fringe and professional theaters in town can watch actor after actor, all day for 2 days. I'd done the audition myself a few times and now it was my turn to see it from the other side.
The first time I did it was one of the worst days of my life. Back then it was in a small room, row after row of watchers, all confronting the one poor auditioner. Being the sponge that I am, it was bad enough absorbing all the nervous energy of each actor, trying to WILL them to calm down. Cringing at their mistakes, generously overlooking missteps.
But the breaks were worse. Those watchers were HARSH. It confirmed all my worst fears. Those artistic directors and casting folks on that particular day were not "hoping you'd do well" as I'd always been told. Well I was hoping they'd do well--but those other people. Jesus. H. Christ.
Well that was a terrible piece.
I HATE when they wear clunky shoes.
She sat down, you should never sit down.
She looked right at me, they should never look at you!
She did a dialect, ugh.
Her dialect was great!
Well that was just weird.
She went over time, she's dead to me.
God I'm sick of that piece.
On and on. People I gave the benefit of the doubt to, they tore to shreds. Some friends were praised and others trashed. It was the single most negative room I'd ever been in. Like they all fed on it and became snottier and more pretentious and cruel. Though some of them knew me as an actor, they all let me behind that secret door of evil and confided their dark thoughts to me. And I was shocked.
I learned a lot that day (for one: a 30 second piece is all you need to show yourself. Do two 30-sec pieces not one long 2 minute piece. After 30 seconds, we stop listening). But I took a long long break from auditioning.
A year or two later, I went to watch again. I even stepped out, did my own audition, and then came back in to watch. This time, it was in a theater, everyone was spread out and less intimidating as a group. And so there was no bullies-in-a-group dynamic. Just polite silence for the most part and some chats about the positive or funny auditions.
It helped me see how much things can change from audition to audition--how much the mood in the room can affect things. And not to take it too personally. Some of those folks they trashed went on and did very well for themselves. And some good auditioners turned out to be bad. So it goes.
A number of years ago I sat in the the Theater Puget Sound general auditions for a theater company I worked with. It's an audition where representatives from fringe and professional theaters in town can watch actor after actor, all day for 2 days. I'd done the audition myself a few times and now it was my turn to see it from the other side.
The first time I did it was one of the worst days of my life. Back then it was in a small room, row after row of watchers, all confronting the one poor auditioner. Being the sponge that I am, it was bad enough absorbing all the nervous energy of each actor, trying to WILL them to calm down. Cringing at their mistakes, generously overlooking missteps.
But the breaks were worse. Those watchers were HARSH. It confirmed all my worst fears. Those artistic directors and casting folks on that particular day were not "hoping you'd do well" as I'd always been told. Well I was hoping they'd do well--but those other people. Jesus. H. Christ.
Well that was a terrible piece.
I HATE when they wear clunky shoes.
She sat down, you should never sit down.
She looked right at me, they should never look at you!
She did a dialect, ugh.
Her dialect was great!
Well that was just weird.
She went over time, she's dead to me.
God I'm sick of that piece.
On and on. People I gave the benefit of the doubt to, they tore to shreds. Some friends were praised and others trashed. It was the single most negative room I'd ever been in. Like they all fed on it and became snottier and more pretentious and cruel. Though some of them knew me as an actor, they all let me behind that secret door of evil and confided their dark thoughts to me. And I was shocked.
I learned a lot that day (for one: a 30 second piece is all you need to show yourself. Do two 30-sec pieces not one long 2 minute piece. After 30 seconds, we stop listening). But I took a long long break from auditioning.
A year or two later, I went to watch again. I even stepped out, did my own audition, and then came back in to watch. This time, it was in a theater, everyone was spread out and less intimidating as a group. And so there was no bullies-in-a-group dynamic. Just polite silence for the most part and some chats about the positive or funny auditions.
It helped me see how much things can change from audition to audition--how much the mood in the room can affect things. And not to take it too personally. Some of those folks they trashed went on and did very well for themselves. And some good auditioners turned out to be bad. So it goes.