(Untitled)

[popelizbet]

Rapper Chris Brown has allegedly choked and beaten the unholy crap out of his girlfriend, singer Rihanna, and has been charged with felony assault.

Idiots, naturally, abound, with all the usual bullshit on display: "There must have been a reason!" "He never abused her before!" "Why didn't she just run away?"  "I heard she gave him herpes, it's

Comments

[alexandraerin]

"And while Rihanna is the alleged victim in this scenario, it’s not the first time she’s made news in the last year."

What kind of sense is this sentence supposed to make, Fox News? Crazy sense? Non-sense? Sensesque™, with Artificial Sense-like Flavor?

[popelizbet]

Apparently because it's the gossip column, it's totally awesome to treat an "alleged victim" like she might be lying because she accused her manager of stealing from her, or whatever. SHUT UP, FAUX NEWS.

Although FAUX NEWS, NOW WITH SENSESQUE (TM) actually sounds kind of awesome and I want truth in advertising language that makes them bill themselves that way now.

[popelizbet]

It's Faux, what did you expect? They led off their gossip column with this without even an empty word of support for someone who got the living shit beaten out of her.

[popelizbet]

And this is why I frequently threaten to deport Rupert Murdoch to Palmyra Island, where none of us will have to deal with him and his works ever again.

[popelizbet]

Palmyra is tiny, supports very little plant life, and the lagoon is full of sharks. Also, it has the advantage of being a real place, and also in U.S. jurisdiction in case we ever need to yank him back to stand trial for anything.

[popelizbet]

:D I relegate many of my enemies to the Palmyra in my mind, ever since I read Bugliosi's The Sea Will Tell. :D

[alexandraerin]

Yeah, "alleged" isn't what I'm talking about there.

(Though there are less loaded ways of saying the same thing. "Alleged" ought to be a value-neutral word, but it isn't, in practice.)

[popelizbet]

I'm still for the use of "alleged", if only because I still value the principle of people being innocent until proven guilty as far as the law is concerned, and because the media could obfuscate things even more if they didn't have that legal requirement.

[akycha]

I really like "Sensesque with Artificial Sense-Like Flavor, and no Calories Content!"

[popelizbet]

This is why Alexandra Erin is the shit. Her fiction's even funnier, you know. :D

[eatenbykraken]

wat.

I also liked their musing on whether Rihanna would be willing to "forgive and forget." Yeah, I'm always willing to forgive the people who put me in the hospital. (Not that I've ever been put in the hospital! First person pronoun for rhetorical emphasis!)

[popelizbet]

Ughhhhhhhhhhh.