fic: Standard State
Title: Standard State
Fandom: Football RPF
Pairing: Daniel Agger/Fernando Torres
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1383
Disclaimer: Not mine, ever.
Notes: I love digging up old fic on my computer, reading it, bringing forth a wave of nostalgia and then deciding to drop all the other things I’m doing to post it. This was off some old prompt on the kinkmeme, not bothered enough to go find it. Also posted to my AO3 if you like that format better.
Summary: Daniel’s all too familiar with leaving Liverpool, but sometimes leaving means coming home.
When Rodgers tells him that Liverpool simply can’t turn down that kind of money, Daniel should be furious. If this was a couple of years ago, he would be, but he’s become more accepting of reality. He better than most has seen what Liverpool has come to. Yes, they’re eighth in the league, and next season they’ll actually have to qualify to play Europa football. It’s difficult to see previous glory to have come to this.
He has never told anyone, but he’s thought about leaving before. The first time when he was out of form due to minor injuries for a whole season, he was tempted by the safety that was Brøndby. When Chelsea came calling for their golden striker, they put in an interested bid for him as well. He told his agents it was out of the question, it was a mistake thinking Fernando would do the same. And now, it’s finally come to this. Liverpool doesn’t seem to want him anymore, and even needs him to leave.
He’s always been loyal to the club, so he tells his agent that he’s accepting offers.
Within a week, there are three solid offers on the table. Juventus, Manchester City and Borussia Dortmund. Daniel is suddenly confronted by the fact that not only was he going to lose Liverpool, he might have to leave England. At this rate, he’ll have nothing left.
He travels with the team to play away to Gomel to qualify for Europa League. Liverpool having to qualify to play in the Europa football, that thought would be impossible two years ago.
Daniel doesn’t want to think about what else he had two years ago, or who. He wonders if he had a real grasp at all, with how easily he lost Fernando. And then the pain and regret he felt, for destroying any and all chances of reconciliation.
It’s been two years of silence, maybe it’s time to move on.
~
Transfer negotiations are not going well. Liverpool wants to get as much money out of him as possible, but the other clubs also know he’ll be sold before the window is closed. Everything has stalled over his valuation of 25 million pounds. He feels a little proud, but also a lot like cattle.
Rodgers leaves him off the list for the next game. He tells Daniel to relax and sort out of his future instead. Ironically, his manager has a lot more say over it than he does at the moment.
He tries to relax. He goes to cafés and sits with his iPod running for hours. He drives to the seaside and watches the waves dash upon the rocks. Relaxing doesn’t work. He tries to do things to keep him busy. He installs a rainwater collector at his house. He goes to the grocery to buy a dozen ingredients so he can make butter chicken for the first time. A Liverpool fan yells at him and splatters a tomato in his hair.
That night Daniel takes some toiletries and starts driving. He doesn’t stop until he’s almost out of gas.
~
Fernando is woken up by one of his bulldogs whimpering next to his ear. He sighs, and wishes not for the first time that his dogs were a little less needy. But they’re usually good company and completely loyal, especially during his dark goal-less periods. He follows Nora downstairs where she is nudging at her empty food bowl. He’s searching around for a can opener when he sees a familiar car across the street.
His heart clenches at the thought of the owner of a similar car and he turns away. Leo has woken up now and circles Fernando before going to bite at the leash hanging by the door. Might as well, since he’s up already. Plus if he walks them now, he could probably skip the pre-training walk.
Walking his dogs at such an ungodly hour has its uses. No paparazzi will be lurking around. The chance of being mobbed by fans is also slim. As he rounds the block to go home, he sees that car again. It looks exactly like the one he’s ridden in dozens of times. And was that someone sleeping in the front seat?
He walks up and it is. Of all the surreal midnight experiences, he was not expecting Daniel Agger to be sleeping in a car across the street from his house.
The dogs choose that moment to start barking and Fernando shushes them before they wake up the entire neighborhood. Daniel ends up being woken up as well because he’s suddenly staring back through the car window.
~
“Do you want to come in?” Fernando offers, he’s still not sure what is happening.
Daniel comes out and follows Fernando and the dogs inside. He’s ushered onto the couch and given a cup of tea. He stares into his mug, because if he looks up, he’ll be confronted with Fernando’s face, and questions. He doesn’t have answers to anything.
Fernando doesn’t ask anything though, and they sit and sip at the tea for a couple of minutes.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.” Daniel says.
Fernando looks unsurprised. “With…?”
“Football. My life.” Daniel laughs. “Anything really. Everything is so fucked up.”
“Is this about the transfer?” Fernando asks quietly.
“It was never about the transfer.” Daniel sighed. “Remember when you asked me if my love for the club overrode my love for you?”
He nods.
“I lied. I’m leaving Liverpool, but all I can still think of is you.”
~
Daniel wakes up with a sense of déjà vu. The couch is unfamiliar, but the other person on it is not. Some things are new though, like the constellation of freckles near Fernando’s nose. After all, change is inevitable.
An alarm from upstairs goes off, and the moment is ruined. Fernando opens his eyes and sees a pair of familiar hazel ones staring back.
“Morning.”
“Hi,” Fernando breathes. “I thought last night was a dream.”
“Did you want it to be just a dream?”
“No, I’m glad you’re really here.”
“Me too.” Daniel smiles, because even though it’s been a while, it’s not awkward at all. “I’m glad I came.”
~
Daniel stays another night, this time they fall asleep naked in Fernando’s bed. It’s the first night he doesn’t dream about Liverpool since transfer season started. In fact he can’t remember his dream, just that it was filled with quiet laughter and blonde locks in sunshine.
Fernando takes him to the London eye before he leaves. It’s just the two of them in a capsule against the city skyline so they stand closer than usual, hands touching.
“You’ll come visit again?” he asks.
Dan shakes his head, he knows what the older man is really asking. “No need to visit. I’m not leaving.”
The smile Fernando gives is so wide, and Daniel wants to taste it. So he does
High on top of London, there is one silhouette. Two hearts at home again.
More notes:
Did anyone watch the Chelsea Liverpool game on November 11? It was so painful to watch. I mean, even as a Chelsea and a Liverpool fan, there was this nostalgia of Nando terrorizing Chelsea defenders. And that moment, with the shot of Danny and Nando together, gave me so much feelings. I still haven't quite forgiven Daniel for that elbow, but I'm glad this game was more civil.
