Must be a blue moon or something...
The urge to update has finally come. Being that it's 3am and I have HST class in 5 hrs, this will be short. But who knows, maybe I'll elaborate more in future posts, if you're so lucky.
Had sweet bro chill time (and sis chill time, hah) as Tony, Ryan, Shawn, Justin, and Molly stopped over my apartment this past weekend. As usual, good laughs were had, sweet movies were watched, and everything felt good for a change. It's amazing what great company can do. Nothing is like hanging out with my friends from Saginaw. Thanks for stopping over / spending the night, and my love goes out to all of you wherever you are.
School is kicking my butt and I'm not liking it. I'm not liking these ridiculously difficult classes, the ridiculous amounts of homework/exams/papers, or the ridiculousness of having to wake up at 8am for ANYTHING. No sir, I'll pass. I just can't wait to finish off this semester so I can study the summer away and get back to Japan. But I honestly don't know if I have the will to tough it out for two and a half more months.
My will has been weakened for many reasons. The first of which seems to be the almost insignificant/lonely life I live here in East Lansing. I am surrounded by people but still feel like I'm on the outside. Only when I'm with my hometown friends do I feel *home*.
The second of which is the spiritual emptiness I've felt for quite a long while. Feels like that part of me died when I decided to stop visiting Saginaw as much. Again it's amazing how this also is connected with home.
Can I really call myself a man if I don't try my best when I see an opportunity in love? Negatives emotions weigh this heavy heart down even more as attempts fail, time is wasted, and hope is crushed. Having finally met someone who fits my ideal for the first time in my life is an interesting thing. To finally have confirmation that this type of person exists inspires hope but the realization that I cannot have her destroys that hope at the same time. Love is a battlefield, yes indeed.
Some recent happenings around campus involving an extremely right-winged evangelist have inspired new desire within me to seek God. I've been doing a lot more reading as of late, also having picked up C.S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity". I'd like to once again make a daily routine of reading the Word and spending time in prayer.
There's a lot more I could say on these topics but really don't want to go into it now. Maybe things will pick up, who knows. I feel only doubt considering my life has pretty much been the same ever since I moved down to EL. I'm stuck in a repeating cycle of idleness, pain, and pizza.
Had sweet bro chill time (and sis chill time, hah) as Tony, Ryan, Shawn, Justin, and Molly stopped over my apartment this past weekend. As usual, good laughs were had, sweet movies were watched, and everything felt good for a change. It's amazing what great company can do. Nothing is like hanging out with my friends from Saginaw. Thanks for stopping over / spending the night, and my love goes out to all of you wherever you are.
School is kicking my butt and I'm not liking it. I'm not liking these ridiculously difficult classes, the ridiculous amounts of homework/exams/papers, or the ridiculousness of having to wake up at 8am for ANYTHING. No sir, I'll pass. I just can't wait to finish off this semester so I can study the summer away and get back to Japan. But I honestly don't know if I have the will to tough it out for two and a half more months.
My will has been weakened for many reasons. The first of which seems to be the almost insignificant/lonely life I live here in East Lansing. I am surrounded by people but still feel like I'm on the outside. Only when I'm with my hometown friends do I feel *home*.
The second of which is the spiritual emptiness I've felt for quite a long while. Feels like that part of me died when I decided to stop visiting Saginaw as much. Again it's amazing how this also is connected with home.
Can I really call myself a man if I don't try my best when I see an opportunity in love? Negatives emotions weigh this heavy heart down even more as attempts fail, time is wasted, and hope is crushed. Having finally met someone who fits my ideal for the first time in my life is an interesting thing. To finally have confirmation that this type of person exists inspires hope but the realization that I cannot have her destroys that hope at the same time. Love is a battlefield, yes indeed.
Some recent happenings around campus involving an extremely right-winged evangelist have inspired new desire within me to seek God. I've been doing a lot more reading as of late, also having picked up C.S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity". I'd like to once again make a daily routine of reading the Word and spending time in prayer.
There's a lot more I could say on these topics but really don't want to go into it now. Maybe things will pick up, who knows. I feel only doubt considering my life has pretty much been the same ever since I moved down to EL. I'm stuck in a repeating cycle of idleness, pain, and pizza.