Fic: [Nanoha] Nanoha Fortress 2
Title: Nanoha Fortress 2
Series: MGL Nanoha, Team Fortress 2
Type: Crossover/Fusion
Links: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6446113/2/
Disclaimer: This is HEAVILLY based off the Team Fortress videos by Valve. I'm well aware of that, so if you complain in a review about it I will ignore you. I own none of the characters from Valve or Nanoha, I'm just borrowing them. Don't sue me, I'm broke.
Nanoha Fortress 2
The young woman hefted the massive gun on the box, grunting softly. "I am heavy weapons guy," she said in awkward English as she sat in the chair behind it, "and this... is my weapon."
"Great! Great!" Hayate Yagami, director of the interviews, murmured to herself.
"Could I do my interview in Japanese?" Nanoha asked, much more fluent in her native tongue, "my English isn't very good."
"Sorry," Hayate shook her head, "has to be English."
Nanoha sighed, then caressed the gun barrel thoughtfully. "It's fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute," she said, quoting from the catalog in English. She smiled dangerously, "It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this gun for just twelve seconds."
"Does that math make sense?" Zafira whispered, the blue haired muscular cameraman standing beside his boss.
"I'm not going to argue," Hayate whispered back.
Turning the barrel Nanoha froze. "Someone touched Raising Heart." Looking around indignantly she called, "Who touched my gun!"
As Hayate watched her emote she decided this job was not going to be as cut and dried as she thought...
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"YAAA!" the young woman dressed in army fatigues and a helmet ran along, the bazooka on her shoulder firing wildly. Subaru Nakajima was a ball of pure energy racing across the battlefield as Hayate tried to catch up.
"She's nuts," Zafira panted.
Hayate couldn't really argue with that.
"Hey Tea!" she stopped to wave wildly at the supposedly hidden sniper, in the process of drawing fire on her.
Hayate watched the poor sniper scamper away from a hail of bullets, no doubt cursing wildly.
"Oops?" Subaru looked sheepish as she scratched the back of her head under her helmet. "Wonder in Sun Tzu has a saying that covers this?"
Explosions echoed around them as Hayate and Zafira dove for cover.
"Oh, that's right," Subaru nodded briskly, "In death ground, fight!" With that she readied her bazooka and was off, again.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
The engineer was probably the most... normal of the lot Hayate had met so far. The slim, blond haired man was named Yuuno Scrya, and had a friendly smile as he offered her a beer. "No?" he smiled, putting it down on the box behind him.
"So, how would you describe your job on the team?" Hayate asked as she edged away from the robot canon that was sweeping the area for targets.
"Oh, some weapons maintenance and vehicle repair," Yuuno shrugged casually, "other than that, I just solve problems."
"Problems?" Zafira echoed.
"Not problems like what is beauty, because that would be a riddle of philosophy," Yuuno took a thoughtful drink, "but practical problems." His eyes took on a dangerous gleam, "Like how do I keep some bastard from tearing me a new asshole?"
Both Hayate and Zafira exchanged nervous looks, wondering what they were dealing with.
"The answer is a gun," Yuuno nodded to the cannon nearby as it blew away a screaming spy, "and if that don't work, use more gun."
Deciding it was time to go Hayate smiled, "Sorry to interrupt your work."
"No problem," Yuuno smiled pleasantly, "come by again."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"What makes me a good demoman?" Vita asked disbelievingly.
Hayate really didn't know what to make of this one. First of all she looked all of fifteen years old, then she seemed to drink like a fish. And smoke, And all while she sat in her bunker surrounded by explosives and related supplies.
"If I was a bad demoman we wouldn't be sitting here talking about it!" Vita burst out, waving her hands wildly, "One misplaced wire, one extra smidge of explosive... and kabloey!"
Zafira and Hayate watched disbelievingly as she chugged down something from a simple jug, the fumes making her eyes water. "So...," Hayate desperately tried to come up with a question, "how did you get into this line of work?"
"It's a family tradition," Vita admitted, "goes back generations." as she drank she got more incoherent, and her language got even saltier. After a long tirade about her childhood and how 'she was a grim bloody fable with a unhappy end' she just fell over and started to snore.
"Should we do something?" Zafira asked after they went outside.
"Whoa," Hayate murmured as a tall, pink haired woman strode over to them. She had a weakness for tall, striking women, and this one was hitting all her buttons.
Signum looked at them flatly, her expression cool and unreadable. "Is Vita unconscious again?" she asked, "I will take care of her."
"You're the Pyro, right?" Hayate asked as she strode by, "I wanted to interview you..."
"I'm the team Pyro," Signum paused in the door to say, "and that's all you need to know." With that, she disappeared into the darkness.
"Dissed," Zafira noted mildly.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"I'm not quite sure where to start," Fate Testarossa admitted as the slim blond fidgeted in her interview. She was dressed in shorts and t-shirt, a courier bag hanging at her side.
"You're the team Scout, correct?" Hayate asked, confirming the information she was given. "How would you describe your job?"
Fate looked thoughtful, "I'm usually the first in, I confirm where the enemy is and relay the information to my teammates." She hefted her baseball bat thoughtfully, "Then Bardiche and I get to have some fun."
'What's with people here naming their weapons?' Hayate wondered. "Can you tell us about yourself?" she asked aloud.
Fate's eyes were sad as she shrugged. "If you were from where I came from," she said harshly, "you'd be dead." She suddenly turned and walked away, "We're done here."
"That was short," Zafira sighed as they moved off to do their next interview. "Have you been able to reach the Spy?"
"Can't track her down," Hayate sighed. She looked at Zafira, "So that leaves the Sniper and Medic, right?"
"Yeah," Zafira sighed, hoping the next interview would be less dangerous.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"Sniping is a good job, really," Teana Lanster said as the young woman lead the climb up steep ladder, "it's challenging work, out of doors, and you'll never go hungry."
"Oh?" Hayate asked through her pants as she clambered up after her. And tried not to look at her ass in the short shorts.
With certainty Teana said, "As long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is going to want someone else dead."
Zafira gulped. "Oh."
"My mentor used to say that," Teana admitted as they reached the top. She unslung her rifle and took up a position to shoot, "He used to tell me that people with feelings ended up beating their wife dead with a golf trophy. Pros had standards."
"Standards," Hayate echoed weakly.
"Be polite, be efficient," Teana shrugged, "have a plan to kill everyone you meet." Both Zafira and Hayate paled and she grinned, "Just kidding."
"So... what happened to your mentor?" Hayate had to ask.
"Got thirty to life for bludgeoning his wife to death with a golf trophy." Teana aimed carefully then fired, the gunshot loud in the small room on top of a tower. She frowned, "I think his buddy saw me."
Bullets planged loudly into the metal roof even as Hayate squeaked in alarm.
"Yes, yes he did," Teana calmly ducked, folding her gun away quickly as she ordered, "Down the ladder. Now."
"I hate this job," Zafira whimpered.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Shamal was grinning as the blond medic continued, "It gets better! When the patient woke up, his skeleton was gone, and the doctor was never heard from again."
Both Hayate and Zafira looked at her in blank horror as Shamal's sweet giggles eased off.
"Well, maybe you had to be there," Shamal conceded with a smile.
"So, you've developed this rapid healing ray and other technology," Hayate waved around the lab, "why not publicize it? You could win a Nobel Prize."
"Why would I want to do that?" Shamal shrugged eloquently. "I'm perfectly happy where I am."
"I see," Zafira said. "loony tunes," he muttered under his breath.
"Besides," Shamal beamed, "where else would I get to practice medicine like this?"
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
No matter how insane the group was, there was a certain beauty in watching them in action. Nanoha held the center, spraying the enemy with firepower. Subaru moved to support her, while Teana shot anyone who got to close and Signum burned away anyone trying to sneak up. Fate scouted ahead for targets, Vita blew away obstacles and Shamal offered any needed medical help.
"You've got that look in your eye," Zafira noted as he looked at Hayate with a frown, "what are you planning?"
"Who says I'm planning anything?" Hayate batted her eyes innocently.
Zafira gave her a look, "Well?"
Hayate went back to watching the fight as she mused, "Well, out network was considering a new reality TV show, and they like out footage so far."
Zafira paled, imagining how dangerous it was going to be chasing these idiots on a daily basis. "We're gonna die," he sighed.
Hayate patted his muscled shoulder as she noted, "Only if you don't dodge fast enough."
To be continued...?
Notes: I tried to work the Team Fortress quotes in without making the characters TOO out of character. Well, other than them all being TF style nuts. May or may not continue this.
To Mecha Girl Lethal Nanoha fans, I AM planning a part two. If for no other reason than I want to have Nanoha 'befriend' Asuka at one point.
Series: MGL Nanoha, Team Fortress 2
Type: Crossover/Fusion
Links: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6446113/2/
Disclaimer: This is HEAVILLY based off the Team Fortress videos by Valve. I'm well aware of that, so if you complain in a review about it I will ignore you. I own none of the characters from Valve or Nanoha, I'm just borrowing them. Don't sue me, I'm broke.
Nanoha Fortress 2
The young woman hefted the massive gun on the box, grunting softly. "I am heavy weapons guy," she said in awkward English as she sat in the chair behind it, "and this... is my weapon."
"Great! Great!" Hayate Yagami, director of the interviews, murmured to herself.
"Could I do my interview in Japanese?" Nanoha asked, much more fluent in her native tongue, "my English isn't very good."
"Sorry," Hayate shook her head, "has to be English."
Nanoha sighed, then caressed the gun barrel thoughtfully. "It's fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute," she said, quoting from the catalog in English. She smiled dangerously, "It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this gun for just twelve seconds."
"Does that math make sense?" Zafira whispered, the blue haired muscular cameraman standing beside his boss.
"I'm not going to argue," Hayate whispered back.
Turning the barrel Nanoha froze. "Someone touched Raising Heart." Looking around indignantly she called, "Who touched my gun!"
As Hayate watched her emote she decided this job was not going to be as cut and dried as she thought...
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"YAAA!" the young woman dressed in army fatigues and a helmet ran along, the bazooka on her shoulder firing wildly. Subaru Nakajima was a ball of pure energy racing across the battlefield as Hayate tried to catch up.
"She's nuts," Zafira panted.
Hayate couldn't really argue with that.
"Hey Tea!" she stopped to wave wildly at the supposedly hidden sniper, in the process of drawing fire on her.
Hayate watched the poor sniper scamper away from a hail of bullets, no doubt cursing wildly.
"Oops?" Subaru looked sheepish as she scratched the back of her head under her helmet. "Wonder in Sun Tzu has a saying that covers this?"
Explosions echoed around them as Hayate and Zafira dove for cover.
"Oh, that's right," Subaru nodded briskly, "In death ground, fight!" With that she readied her bazooka and was off, again.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
The engineer was probably the most... normal of the lot Hayate had met so far. The slim, blond haired man was named Yuuno Scrya, and had a friendly smile as he offered her a beer. "No?" he smiled, putting it down on the box behind him.
"So, how would you describe your job on the team?" Hayate asked as she edged away from the robot canon that was sweeping the area for targets.
"Oh, some weapons maintenance and vehicle repair," Yuuno shrugged casually, "other than that, I just solve problems."
"Problems?" Zafira echoed.
"Not problems like what is beauty, because that would be a riddle of philosophy," Yuuno took a thoughtful drink, "but practical problems." His eyes took on a dangerous gleam, "Like how do I keep some bastard from tearing me a new asshole?"
Both Hayate and Zafira exchanged nervous looks, wondering what they were dealing with.
"The answer is a gun," Yuuno nodded to the cannon nearby as it blew away a screaming spy, "and if that don't work, use more gun."
Deciding it was time to go Hayate smiled, "Sorry to interrupt your work."
"No problem," Yuuno smiled pleasantly, "come by again."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"What makes me a good demoman?" Vita asked disbelievingly.
Hayate really didn't know what to make of this one. First of all she looked all of fifteen years old, then she seemed to drink like a fish. And smoke, And all while she sat in her bunker surrounded by explosives and related supplies.
"If I was a bad demoman we wouldn't be sitting here talking about it!" Vita burst out, waving her hands wildly, "One misplaced wire, one extra smidge of explosive... and kabloey!"
Zafira and Hayate watched disbelievingly as she chugged down something from a simple jug, the fumes making her eyes water. "So...," Hayate desperately tried to come up with a question, "how did you get into this line of work?"
"It's a family tradition," Vita admitted, "goes back generations." as she drank she got more incoherent, and her language got even saltier. After a long tirade about her childhood and how 'she was a grim bloody fable with a unhappy end' she just fell over and started to snore.
"Should we do something?" Zafira asked after they went outside.
"Whoa," Hayate murmured as a tall, pink haired woman strode over to them. She had a weakness for tall, striking women, and this one was hitting all her buttons.
Signum looked at them flatly, her expression cool and unreadable. "Is Vita unconscious again?" she asked, "I will take care of her."
"You're the Pyro, right?" Hayate asked as she strode by, "I wanted to interview you..."
"I'm the team Pyro," Signum paused in the door to say, "and that's all you need to know." With that, she disappeared into the darkness.
"Dissed," Zafira noted mildly.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"I'm not quite sure where to start," Fate Testarossa admitted as the slim blond fidgeted in her interview. She was dressed in shorts and t-shirt, a courier bag hanging at her side.
"You're the team Scout, correct?" Hayate asked, confirming the information she was given. "How would you describe your job?"
Fate looked thoughtful, "I'm usually the first in, I confirm where the enemy is and relay the information to my teammates." She hefted her baseball bat thoughtfully, "Then Bardiche and I get to have some fun."
'What's with people here naming their weapons?' Hayate wondered. "Can you tell us about yourself?" she asked aloud.
Fate's eyes were sad as she shrugged. "If you were from where I came from," she said harshly, "you'd be dead." She suddenly turned and walked away, "We're done here."
"That was short," Zafira sighed as they moved off to do their next interview. "Have you been able to reach the Spy?"
"Can't track her down," Hayate sighed. She looked at Zafira, "So that leaves the Sniper and Medic, right?"
"Yeah," Zafira sighed, hoping the next interview would be less dangerous.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"Sniping is a good job, really," Teana Lanster said as the young woman lead the climb up steep ladder, "it's challenging work, out of doors, and you'll never go hungry."
"Oh?" Hayate asked through her pants as she clambered up after her. And tried not to look at her ass in the short shorts.
With certainty Teana said, "As long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is going to want someone else dead."
Zafira gulped. "Oh."
"My mentor used to say that," Teana admitted as they reached the top. She unslung her rifle and took up a position to shoot, "He used to tell me that people with feelings ended up beating their wife dead with a golf trophy. Pros had standards."
"Standards," Hayate echoed weakly.
"Be polite, be efficient," Teana shrugged, "have a plan to kill everyone you meet." Both Zafira and Hayate paled and she grinned, "Just kidding."
"So... what happened to your mentor?" Hayate had to ask.
"Got thirty to life for bludgeoning his wife to death with a golf trophy." Teana aimed carefully then fired, the gunshot loud in the small room on top of a tower. She frowned, "I think his buddy saw me."
Bullets planged loudly into the metal roof even as Hayate squeaked in alarm.
"Yes, yes he did," Teana calmly ducked, folding her gun away quickly as she ordered, "Down the ladder. Now."
"I hate this job," Zafira whimpered.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Shamal was grinning as the blond medic continued, "It gets better! When the patient woke up, his skeleton was gone, and the doctor was never heard from again."
Both Hayate and Zafira looked at her in blank horror as Shamal's sweet giggles eased off.
"Well, maybe you had to be there," Shamal conceded with a smile.
"So, you've developed this rapid healing ray and other technology," Hayate waved around the lab, "why not publicize it? You could win a Nobel Prize."
"Why would I want to do that?" Shamal shrugged eloquently. "I'm perfectly happy where I am."
"I see," Zafira said. "loony tunes," he muttered under his breath.
"Besides," Shamal beamed, "where else would I get to practice medicine like this?"
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
No matter how insane the group was, there was a certain beauty in watching them in action. Nanoha held the center, spraying the enemy with firepower. Subaru moved to support her, while Teana shot anyone who got to close and Signum burned away anyone trying to sneak up. Fate scouted ahead for targets, Vita blew away obstacles and Shamal offered any needed medical help.
"You've got that look in your eye," Zafira noted as he looked at Hayate with a frown, "what are you planning?"
"Who says I'm planning anything?" Hayate batted her eyes innocently.
Zafira gave her a look, "Well?"
Hayate went back to watching the fight as she mused, "Well, out network was considering a new reality TV show, and they like out footage so far."
Zafira paled, imagining how dangerous it was going to be chasing these idiots on a daily basis. "We're gonna die," he sighed.
Hayate patted his muscled shoulder as she noted, "Only if you don't dodge fast enough."
To be continued...?
Notes: I tried to work the Team Fortress quotes in without making the characters TOO out of character. Well, other than them all being TF style nuts. May or may not continue this.
To Mecha Girl Lethal Nanoha fans, I AM planning a part two. If for no other reason than I want to have Nanoha 'befriend' Asuka at one point.