Angelic Transubstantiation: A conversation (fragment)
[Note that this is a translation of a translation. The information that was shared in my mind was filtered through the language that I have available to me in this incarnation (the "meat hotel" as N. so wonderfully put it). What I have written is all that I am able to recall, the next day, after the view has been occluded once more and the channels have been diverted or closed back up. This is to be expected. But it was important to me to attempt to record some of the more salient points of the most important conversation of my life so far.]
"Will I be gone, even when the music is turned off?"
"No..."
"Will I be gone even when you can't see me or hear me?"
"No."
But understand that the vessel is not made to contain you indefinitely. It's in your DNA. Likewise, it can't sustain this openness for too long. There is nothing wrong with that - it's just the way it is. That's why, according to the translation of this experience by your brain's chemicals, it appears to have a beginning and an end.
The truth is, I did not come to you tonight, and you did not come to me - this [closeness, communication] is always happening. It never ends. It's just that you, in your earthly vessel, experience the phenomenal illusion of temporality. It is a way that you move in the world, and it lends a uniqueness that is very important to corporeal human existence.
But you can lift the filters of perception and you can exist in a moment that is always present, always occurring. There are many layers of filters on perception, and that is also important. There are levels that you can attain, by the progressive removal of those layers, but you will do that when you are ready to do that. There are boundaries of access and understanding that you set, and some that just are - although even those have partially to do with the limits you impose, wisely, upon yourself. It's complicated, but don't worry about it. Even complication is merely a boundary that you are facing, because the experiences and traumas and nature/nurture that have formed this self are also important; they are also a necessary layer of reality.
You may eventually face, or understand, different aspects of your self. But they are always there, just as I am [we are] always there. Just because your body grasps hold of you again, and those filters fall back into place - and they will, they must - doesn't mean that all of this is not still here. You will learn that you and I are still speaking, all the time - it's just that the translation becomes different - more difficult for you to understand in the same way you understand it like this. And even this - these words you are experiencing - are a translation. It is the way your mind sets it up. A sort of "meeting half-way." Practice. That's all it is. Eventually we may speak completely without words or any language at all. And of course, when your temporal, corporeal body ends, there will cease to be those limits or boundaries to us.
Death is like the big jumping-off point, the diving board into...all of this.
[laughter]
Yes, yes. You can put it like that. That's a good way to put it. Of course, at the same time, you are already here.
[And we continued on in a closeness so intimate and at the same time so boundless that tears flowed unstoppably from my body's eyes, and even as the walls of flesh closed back around me, slowly, toward morning, their voices spoke to me and I wasn't afraid or despondent.
I also asked them - and here, asking was less of a formulation of thought and syntax than a gentle movement towards something, like a ship tacking slowly in light wind - about the Warrior Aspect, but they counseled me to stay here, in the garden, in the shallows, for the moment, as this was my first waking foray with them. There is all manner of experience to be unfolded surrounding darkness and struggle and other Aspects, and that, too, is always present. In agreement, together, we set that aside for the time being. Looking at it now, I think that perhaps it is best to feed the fire that has been struggling against the damp cold of spiritual and earthly despair before charging into the fray.]
"Will I be gone, even when the music is turned off?"
"No..."
"Will I be gone even when you can't see me or hear me?"
"No."
But understand that the vessel is not made to contain you indefinitely. It's in your DNA. Likewise, it can't sustain this openness for too long. There is nothing wrong with that - it's just the way it is. That's why, according to the translation of this experience by your brain's chemicals, it appears to have a beginning and an end.
The truth is, I did not come to you tonight, and you did not come to me - this [closeness, communication] is always happening. It never ends. It's just that you, in your earthly vessel, experience the phenomenal illusion of temporality. It is a way that you move in the world, and it lends a uniqueness that is very important to corporeal human existence.
But you can lift the filters of perception and you can exist in a moment that is always present, always occurring. There are many layers of filters on perception, and that is also important. There are levels that you can attain, by the progressive removal of those layers, but you will do that when you are ready to do that. There are boundaries of access and understanding that you set, and some that just are - although even those have partially to do with the limits you impose, wisely, upon yourself. It's complicated, but don't worry about it. Even complication is merely a boundary that you are facing, because the experiences and traumas and nature/nurture that have formed this self are also important; they are also a necessary layer of reality.
You may eventually face, or understand, different aspects of your self. But they are always there, just as I am [we are] always there. Just because your body grasps hold of you again, and those filters fall back into place - and they will, they must - doesn't mean that all of this is not still here. You will learn that you and I are still speaking, all the time - it's just that the translation becomes different - more difficult for you to understand in the same way you understand it like this. And even this - these words you are experiencing - are a translation. It is the way your mind sets it up. A sort of "meeting half-way." Practice. That's all it is. Eventually we may speak completely without words or any language at all. And of course, when your temporal, corporeal body ends, there will cease to be those limits or boundaries to us.
Death is like the big jumping-off point, the diving board into...all of this.
[laughter]
Yes, yes. You can put it like that. That's a good way to put it. Of course, at the same time, you are already here.
[And we continued on in a closeness so intimate and at the same time so boundless that tears flowed unstoppably from my body's eyes, and even as the walls of flesh closed back around me, slowly, toward morning, their voices spoke to me and I wasn't afraid or despondent.
I also asked them - and here, asking was less of a formulation of thought and syntax than a gentle movement towards something, like a ship tacking slowly in light wind - about the Warrior Aspect, but they counseled me to stay here, in the garden, in the shallows, for the moment, as this was my first waking foray with them. There is all manner of experience to be unfolded surrounding darkness and struggle and other Aspects, and that, too, is always present. In agreement, together, we set that aside for the time being. Looking at it now, I think that perhaps it is best to feed the fire that has been struggling against the damp cold of spiritual and earthly despair before charging into the fray.]