Fic: A Footballer's Guide to Passing (Notes)
Title: A Footballer’s Guide to Passing (Notes)
Rating: PG
Warnings: juvenile behaviour from people over twenty years old, general sillyness
Main Characters:
Wayne Rooney
Nani
Danny Simpson
Cristiano Ronaldo
Implied pairings here and there.
Summary: It’s a rare classroom lesson at the Carrington fortress. Surely, the boys can all behave themselves and not, for example, start passing notes... right?
Disclaimer: This is all lies. Don’t know any of them, nor would I want to (that's a lie too).
Hey Cris how you doing?
Okay. But what you doing?
I’m great.
No how, WHAT you doing?
They call passing notes right? I practice my English. I am bored and don’t want to listen anymore. I know everything about Fulham already. They’ll be easy.
Wrong attitude, meu amigo.
I know you just as bored!! And think of Lisbon.
???
Don’t say you didn’t pass notes with Ricardo. Luis always say you two never listen in class.
I was thirteen! Are you thirteen?
Don’t be a spoiler. Here, I throw this to Danny too.
What the hell you guys? Listen, you should never get overconfident. Just watch the video.
Don’t throw to me. Nani start.
Then you could stop, eh? Oh well. I’ll just keep this with me, shall I?
Please, please tell me I’m seeing things. This isn’t a note and it is not passed on by grown up footballers when they’re supposed to learn about opponents. What if Carlos notices?
We stop but you start again!!! And you take from Danny, not nice.
It’s just too unbelievable.
Tell me about it.
...Cris. About Ricardo. Um yeah. We should stop.
Wayne I can read that. What about Ricardo?
Nothing.
Wayne say what!
It’s nothing, okay.
Do you miss him? I miss Manuel a lot. HE would pass notes with me.
I pass notes with you now! And maybe, I miss him a little. Now Wayne, what?
You still miss him?! I think Carlos just looked our way.
Mate, I can read that too. Not like this thing wasn’t obvious before...
I don’t like that tone.
They’re written words, Wazza. How do they have a tone?
Whatever.
Don’t skip me! Danny: the two can be real funny.
Yeah. I’d rofl if I weren’t marginally afraid of Carlos.
Do you have to use those abbreviations?
Y? U n00b? XD
Cris? Please talk to me, normally.
Wayne can’t talk to Cristiano, Cristiano can’t talk to Wayne.
About Ricardo?! For god’s sake, I just wanted to know why you miss him.
Because- well, it’s better now we have Luís and Ando here.
Your ears are turning red.
...
Just thought you should know. Nani: But you don’t miss Manuel that much either now that you have such good friends here, right?
Of course. Cristiano help a lot.
Isn’t he a great, absolutely gorgeous person.
Umm yeah-
Danny. What are you doing?
Merely expressing my admiration for our teammate, Wayne.
Express it inside your head, please.
But wouldn’t that make him feel like nobody loves him? Poor Cris.
That was completely uncalled for. Imagine if Carlos had seen you throwing paper balls towards innocent people’s heads.
Wayne in bad mood. Let him be.
Agreed. Hmm well, what was it like living with Nani? Did he ever shut up?
No.
You never complain! You said you like listening me talk.
This is true.
There.
I am not interested in this conversation.
Although you sure read it closely.
Look, would you knock it off?! I know what you’re trying to do, Simmo.
I hope you see the way I’m raising my brows right now. I have no idea what you are talking about.
Well you- screw it, I’m not going to say anything on this stupid note.
I promise this note is, from now on, just between you and me.
Like I’d believe that.
I swear.
On what?
... Christopher’s hair gel.
Like you’d be able to touch it without him killing you.
Exactly.
Well.........You’re trying to make me jealous!
O rly? Why?
Again with the weird-talk! And because you’re an ass.
So you are jealous?
I didn’t say that.
Took you awfully long to answer that.
Maybe a little.
Cris, read the above.
Wayne not jealous. Wayne not like Cristiano like that.
Like what?
Like you know.
Let’s try and be a little more specific and also a little less in deni-
YOU SWORE ON HIS HAIR GEL! NOW I WILL PERSONALLY SEE TO IT THAT YOU WILL SPEND IT ALL AND THAT HE FINDS OUT.
No snatching please. Anyway, apparently he uses only hair wax nowadays, sorry Wazza. So Cris, do you like Nani and Ando more than Wazza?
I...
He talks about them all the time. They’re never separated. Coming onto hardly overage newcomers...
You one to say.
What’s that supposed to mean?
You always say ‘I love to watch his improvement’ and ‘I like to hang with him’ and ‘Simmo’s a funny lad’.
What? Ronnie, I didn’t mean those things like that.
C’mon. Write something. Don’t just toss it back.
Please.
This rich. Danny, what you think?
Oh for the heavens. Don’t drag me into that part.
Beside, Danny say Danny like black styled hair! Forget Wazza.
Not very nice to steal note, Cris.
What the hell? So it’s okay if he likes YOU now is it?
Si.
Ooookay wait a minute. I might have said that, but I wasn’t talking about you Ronnie.
We have no one else with styled black hair.
Uhhh Cris-
I know! We have, we have!
I can’t believe you could just forget about Chris after trading tips on hair gels for the entire Asia trip. Not to mention we just talked about him.
Christopher’s hair not hair. Something else.
Somehow I expected you’d say that.
Cristiano does not care what Wayne expect.
You don’t have to.
Good.
...Good.
Boring.
Yeah. Someone admit something.
We’re not your source of entertainment!
That’s what you think, but compared to that video even watching your ears redden is quality entertainment.
I see what you mean. They are sure red.
Stop. Wayne can’t help if he has red ears.
Hmm. Now you’re defending him.
He’s a friend!
Not really the confession I’m looking for.
Not good for mind to leave things unsaid.
If you guys are involved I can leave everything unsaid.
What if they weren’t?
Umm. It still wouldn’t happen on a piece of paper everyone keeps scribbling over.
Maybe somewhere else?
That’s music to my ears. Eyes. Beauty to my eyes.
This is going well. He’s already spouting poetry.
Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say. Listen, the class is ending right about...
Talk about wishful thinking.
...NOW. Cris, wanna come grab a bite of something?
Of course.
And there they go. Ugh. I don’t even want to think about WHAT he was thinking of biting.
I think I understand what you mean. I too don’t want to think.
I always knew you’re a smart one. Oh, there’s Chris. See you!
...yes, leave me alone all. Manuel would not do that..
I wonder where Ando go...