More of the same
How much time does it really take so heal from an experience that effects who you are to the core. Is time really all it takes? Because I've given it plenty of time but it always seems to haunt me. Most of the time there isn't any provocation for the same feelings to leave the subconscious and manifest itself as the tears I can't seem to keep behind my eyes. Lately they aren't only presenting as tears but those feelings ooze out of every pore. So much so that I can't even hide them from others let alone myself. How long will I continue to let myself suffer from past abuses that weren't brought on by anything I did. The past shouldn't define who I am and who I let myself be to others. My present self is a truer representation yet it continues to be drowned out by the memories of how small I used to feel. Or better yet made to feel. It's much easier to recognize these things that are wrong but much harder to truly make them right. How long will this struggle go on? Honestly, it's become almost too tiring to bear lately. The trail to recovery I've been paving keeps being erased by the winds of times long gone.