Mixed Emotions
So today was just one of those days. I got my exam results from Monday and I did really well on one test but the other could have been better. I'm not scared about the grades I will get in those classes. I went to pick up my birth control and it was over $28. It made me really made that my copay went up. Tomorrow I am going to call my doctor to switch to a low hormone pill. I'm just a bit paranoid because the last time I took the pill I got really depressed and lost all some of my best friends, and then got even more depressed and then had to go to therapy. The only good thing I got out of that was I found out who my true friends were. Anyway. Then I went on the patch when I was 17. Now I found out that it actually has a high level of estrogen which makes me wonder if I'm the same person I was before I went on the patch. I wonder if I'm the same person I was when Kam fell in love with me and I wonder how much the estrogen changes my personality. It just really makes me wonder about myself and who I am. Plus I didn't realize that Ortho Evra can really add on weight. I wonder if my once stellar metabolism is gone or if it's mostly due to the birth control. Thus, I have decided to switch methods. The happy ending to my sad birth control nightmare when I was 14 is that I made new friends that are far better, I have kept friends who are there for me, and I became less sad all the time. I'm still not a relatively happy person but being with Kam makes me feel happy and alive. As far as the depression, I have good days and I have bad days but I have to take it one day at a time and find the little things in life that make the days good.
Last night was a really good night though. Kam actually called and kept me posted on when he would pick me up. He was in a good mood, my favorite mood of his where he is happy but not hyper and really sweet but not disgustingly sweet. We went and got him a game at Game Stop and then went and got dinner at Zio Johnos. I was starving. Before we ate he took me to Fareway which is right next to his apartment. I got milk and cookies which satisfied my craving. Then we ate at his place and talked about apartments. I totally ate most of the salad. Luckily he likes the bottom half of the garlic bread where I love the top. I ate way too much pasta and didn't even touch the personal pizza we got. Then we looked online at apartments and talked. Then I decided that I wanted to try a hot rock massage since we had a couple of rocks lying around that we stole from his apartment's pond/fountain. It was really funny because I accidentally burned him and we laughed. We turned the lights down and put on some good music. I love giving massages which is great since he loves getting them. He is constantly asking for me to rub his neck or run my fingers through his hair, he's such a girl. We decided to steal more rocks later this week so we can do it better. It was one of those nights that made me really happy and calm.
Tomorrow I am going to check out an apartment after work. Kam has apparently seen it so it really comes down to me. I hope I like it because we really need to find a good place soon. I am hoping to find a place and move by mid December but realistically we will probably move in January. I am only going to be living with Kam for a week before I go home for break and won't come back until after the first probably but it would be a bit of a hassle to move my stuff to his tiny apartment and then move again when I come back up. Kam has to give two months notice so we'll see. Maybe Geoff can take over Kam's lease so at least Kam can get his deposit back. Geoff would be fine in a one bedroom since it would just be him and it's only until August. I'm excited to see the apartment tomorrow. It's fun since this will be my first home away from home (no I'm not including the dorms in this). Megan is going with me so at least I will get her opinion as well.
My night class was canceled tonight which completely made my day. I really hate night class. Especially when it's over social policies and issues. Sometimes it's really interesting like when we talk about global healthcare but when it's about poverty and oppression I feel like I have covered that extensively enough. I did rag curls on Monday night but made them too small so when I took them out on Tuesday morning I had a fro. My hair was so for lack of a better term, nappy ( I hate using that term!). I was glad to wash it out today and was glad my hair turned straight and smooth again. This time I used bigger sections and hung it a little lower on my head. If it turns out horrible I will just put it in a low bun like I did yesterday. It's just night not having to curl it or style it really. Well I am going to read and then go to bed so I hopefully won't be too sleepy tomorrow at work. Nighty night!
Last night was a really good night though. Kam actually called and kept me posted on when he would pick me up. He was in a good mood, my favorite mood of his where he is happy but not hyper and really sweet but not disgustingly sweet. We went and got him a game at Game Stop and then went and got dinner at Zio Johnos. I was starving. Before we ate he took me to Fareway which is right next to his apartment. I got milk and cookies which satisfied my craving. Then we ate at his place and talked about apartments. I totally ate most of the salad. Luckily he likes the bottom half of the garlic bread where I love the top. I ate way too much pasta and didn't even touch the personal pizza we got. Then we looked online at apartments and talked. Then I decided that I wanted to try a hot rock massage since we had a couple of rocks lying around that we stole from his apartment's pond/fountain. It was really funny because I accidentally burned him and we laughed. We turned the lights down and put on some good music. I love giving massages which is great since he loves getting them. He is constantly asking for me to rub his neck or run my fingers through his hair, he's such a girl. We decided to steal more rocks later this week so we can do it better. It was one of those nights that made me really happy and calm.
Tomorrow I am going to check out an apartment after work. Kam has apparently seen it so it really comes down to me. I hope I like it because we really need to find a good place soon. I am hoping to find a place and move by mid December but realistically we will probably move in January. I am only going to be living with Kam for a week before I go home for break and won't come back until after the first probably but it would be a bit of a hassle to move my stuff to his tiny apartment and then move again when I come back up. Kam has to give two months notice so we'll see. Maybe Geoff can take over Kam's lease so at least Kam can get his deposit back. Geoff would be fine in a one bedroom since it would just be him and it's only until August. I'm excited to see the apartment tomorrow. It's fun since this will be my first home away from home (no I'm not including the dorms in this). Megan is going with me so at least I will get her opinion as well.
My night class was canceled tonight which completely made my day. I really hate night class. Especially when it's over social policies and issues. Sometimes it's really interesting like when we talk about global healthcare but when it's about poverty and oppression I feel like I have covered that extensively enough. I did rag curls on Monday night but made them too small so when I took them out on Tuesday morning I had a fro. My hair was so for lack of a better term, nappy ( I hate using that term!). I was glad to wash it out today and was glad my hair turned straight and smooth again. This time I used bigger sections and hung it a little lower on my head. If it turns out horrible I will just put it in a low bun like I did yesterday. It's just night not having to curl it or style it really. Well I am going to read and then go to bed so I hopefully won't be too sleepy tomorrow at work. Nighty night!