I just don't know anymore
I really don’t even know where to start this all. Lately there has just been so much running through my head, pulling me in different ways. I’ve come to the point where I don’t know who I really am. I want to go back to the happy girl that I used to be, but now I just don’t know... who that person is or even how...
The pain you feel is real you’re not asleep but it’s a nightmare
I used to always have a smile on my face, then one day it all changed. I was so happy when I was in elementary school. Then I the end of 5th grade came, and everything just seemed to change. My best friends parents got divorced and her dad ended up taking her out of the state. From that summer on everything was hell. I was always just hiding from the truth...
You’re laughing
But you’re hiding
God I know that trick too well
My family stated falling apart, and with them I did as well. The fights just got worse and worse every time. There where times when my dad wouldn’t even bother coming home, and I would be that stupid little girl waiting up for him, just thinking tonight would be different, things are going to go back to normal, tonight is that night, but not really I would just be stuck at home with my mom. Most people would think maybe that would make me and my mom closer, but it didn’t. I just hated her more. Thinking about it now I blamed her for him not always being here, but then I was mad at him to, for leaving us like that all the time.
I just want to thank you
From the bottom of my heart
For all the sleepless nights
And for tearing me apart
As I look back on everything, I can’t find one time where I’ve been really happy. Don’t get me wrong here, when I am with my friends I feel great, but I just haven’t been happy. I just can’t get that excited happy feeling anymore. I want it back, I want that feeling back. I want to be able to like myself, and right now I just don’t.
Torn apart but now I’ve got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it’s gonna be a long long way to happy
I guess every where in the world there is someone trying to find their way, someone trying to find there place, someone trying to find their self, and I guess I am just not there yet. Maybe it’s just easy to feel like you are the only one in the world who is struggling, who is frustrated, or unsatisfied, and just barely getting by. But I know that this feeling is a lie! I just need to find the courage to face it all for one more day, just one more day. Then just maybe someday someone or something will find me and make it all okay. We all need a little help sometime, but I just don’t like to admit it.
Sorry if this just seems random and like I am jumping around, but all these feelings were killing me inside, and I just need to get them out and maybe if I am lucky this will help me in someway. All I know is that something needs change, but what I don’t know…
The pain you feel is real you’re not asleep but it’s a nightmare
I used to always have a smile on my face, then one day it all changed. I was so happy when I was in elementary school. Then I the end of 5th grade came, and everything just seemed to change. My best friends parents got divorced and her dad ended up taking her out of the state. From that summer on everything was hell. I was always just hiding from the truth...
You’re laughing
But you’re hiding
God I know that trick too well
My family stated falling apart, and with them I did as well. The fights just got worse and worse every time. There where times when my dad wouldn’t even bother coming home, and I would be that stupid little girl waiting up for him, just thinking tonight would be different, things are going to go back to normal, tonight is that night, but not really I would just be stuck at home with my mom. Most people would think maybe that would make me and my mom closer, but it didn’t. I just hated her more. Thinking about it now I blamed her for him not always being here, but then I was mad at him to, for leaving us like that all the time.
I just want to thank you
From the bottom of my heart
For all the sleepless nights
And for tearing me apart
As I look back on everything, I can’t find one time where I’ve been really happy. Don’t get me wrong here, when I am with my friends I feel great, but I just haven’t been happy. I just can’t get that excited happy feeling anymore. I want it back, I want that feeling back. I want to be able to like myself, and right now I just don’t.
Torn apart but now I’ve got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it’s gonna be a long long way to happy
I guess every where in the world there is someone trying to find their way, someone trying to find there place, someone trying to find their self, and I guess I am just not there yet. Maybe it’s just easy to feel like you are the only one in the world who is struggling, who is frustrated, or unsatisfied, and just barely getting by. But I know that this feeling is a lie! I just need to find the courage to face it all for one more day, just one more day. Then just maybe someday someone or something will find me and make it all okay. We all need a little help sometime, but I just don’t like to admit it.
Sorry if this just seems random and like I am jumping around, but all these feelings were killing me inside, and I just need to get them out and maybe if I am lucky this will help me in someway. All I know is that something needs change, but what I don’t know…