I think I'm back
I've missed writing here, but I think I needed to get through this last year on my own. There was a time early on last year where I felt like I needed to talk or write about it frequently, but I honestly got talked out. It was very difficult for me to put into words what I was feeling after a while, and to be honest I got very tired of trying. I got tired of answering questions I wasn't sure how to voice the answers to, and having everyone look at you with such intense concern constantly over an entire year is also very exhausting. I felt like I spent more energy reassuring my friends and family at one point than I did in healing myself. At this point though, I'm in a good place. The 1 year point is a sad anniversary, but also a little bit of a triumph...I made it... the kids made it. We didn't crumble and we've come out on the other side of this stronger. All of the firsts are over now, and while it wasn't easy... we know we can do it, and that we're ok. I'm sure the 15th will still be a difficult day, but it's the last "first" to hurdle and I find myself looking forward to getting past it. 2010 will be a year of new starts for us... and I can't wait.