got spammed by thorazinequeen
EVERYTHING HAS A GENDER
You may not know this but many nonliving things have a gender.
Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything
in, but you can see right through them.
Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it
takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective
reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed,
but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often
over-inflated.
A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go
anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of
course, there's the hot air part.
Sponges are Female, because they're soft,
squeezable and retain water.
A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting
hit on.
A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old
lines to pick people up.
An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the
weight shifts to the bottom.
A Hammer is Male , because it hasn't changed much
over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have
around.
A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd
be male , didn't you? But consider this - it gives a
man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he
doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he
keeps trying!
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For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
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Men are like....
1. Men are like .. Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like. Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ..... Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.4. Men are like ..... Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .. Chocolate Bars . Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like .. Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like .... .Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men ar e like ..... Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like .......Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
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Thought for the day...
Friends……
Friends are like butt cheeks.
Crap might separate them,
But they always come back together.
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