I'm Moving On... or not
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on
I don't know what it is about this song, but from the very first time I heard it to when I listen to it now, its like this song was written just for me. I guess I've just been realizing lately that I will never be able to start my life over with the people I have in my life right now. Granted, I have some great friends who have been by my side through the worst and best times in my life. But, even though I could never really let them go, I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I just picked up my life, and started over somewhere else. Where no one knew me and I finally had the chance of starting fresh with people. I know that there are people in my life now who don't judge me by my past anymore, but they dont forget it, and they dont let me forget it. I wish people knew what it was like to live in my shoes. I don't mean to sound like I'm having a pity party for myself, cause I'm not. But I can look back at my life, and see that a lot of my actions and behaviors were caused by something in life that I had no control over, and it caused me to be angry and resent most everyone I knew. I just wish with my whole heart that people would stop seeing me as the person I used to be, and see the person I am now. I wish my family would see that.... I wish that song didnt speak so truely of my life. I wish I could stop wishing...