recovery
It feels amazing to laugh again. I felt like I haven't done it in months. I am turning my life upside down. Actually, right side up. Things have been ass backwards lately. I am taking things in my own hands and doing what I need to do for myself. I started school...yay for me. I've lost some weight...even bigger yay for me. I have realized that the people who I thought were going to be there for me for the rest of my life were just saying that to satisfy me for the time being and i'm weeding out the unimportant ones. Its funny how shit happens and the people who should be there and the people who should care are usually the ones who don't. I have surrounded myself with happy people who just want to see me have fun and enjoy my life and maybe throw some advice in somewhere along the way. I've just taken time to think for myself because I havent done it in a while. I've been thinking in terms of her best interest and what would be good for us. Obviously that doesn't mean shit anymore. So, I'm thinking for me now. Screw everyone else. Fuck spending my life worrying about what I can do to make someone else happy. I'm going to be as selfish as I can possibly be because otherwise I spend my time wanting someone who doesnt care about me or my well being. Only their own. But, thats what has to happen and it took me some time to figure that out. I'm not throwing all my time into someone else to make myself get over the fact that I love someone. Instead I'm doing it the right way. I'm having my own fun and doing my own thing. Being stuck up someones ass is never good. Ends in heartbreak and humiliation. Jumping into a relationship shortly after claiming to love someone is wrong. You end up fucking the other person over because deep down inside that faded out black heart you still does care. Just some thoughts for the day. Have fun with that :)