Wednesday
As of this week both me and my dog are cancer free. I get a follow up in 5 years and she gets follow ups every 6 months because we have reached that time. So why don't I feel like celebrating?
There were several major emergencies this week. Several phone calls waiting to hear if friends and family were alive. Some folks are in the hospital and another friend may have lost his house and I am here, powerless in a cozy bed that I am feeling guilty about when people are dying.
My body is bewildering to me and I am so tired of doctors and fighting this whole process. My dad advised me that it would be better strategically to agree with the doctors that it might be all in my head...but I just dont think I can. My well of "polite subservient patient" is running dry.
Roommates are roommates. It is so much healthier here for me than the previous house but it is clear to me that some folks here resent me anyway. I miss having privacy and confidence that my door will stay closed.
Relationship stuff is complicated and hard.
I've been plenty warm, with no heat, much to my surprise. But every cozy night I am thinking about the people in the Dakotas.
Everything around the election is still mortifying. I didnt delete my previous post, I just hid it because I am confused and want to think very hard about what exact message I want to send to my Trump voting friends. But it is hard and the news seems to get worse every day. I want to survive.
There were several major emergencies this week. Several phone calls waiting to hear if friends and family were alive. Some folks are in the hospital and another friend may have lost his house and I am here, powerless in a cozy bed that I am feeling guilty about when people are dying.
My body is bewildering to me and I am so tired of doctors and fighting this whole process. My dad advised me that it would be better strategically to agree with the doctors that it might be all in my head...but I just dont think I can. My well of "polite subservient patient" is running dry.
Roommates are roommates. It is so much healthier here for me than the previous house but it is clear to me that some folks here resent me anyway. I miss having privacy and confidence that my door will stay closed.
Relationship stuff is complicated and hard.
I've been plenty warm, with no heat, much to my surprise. But every cozy night I am thinking about the people in the Dakotas.
Everything around the election is still mortifying. I didnt delete my previous post, I just hid it because I am confused and want to think very hard about what exact message I want to send to my Trump voting friends. But it is hard and the news seems to get worse every day. I want to survive.