Narrowly avoiding reusing blog titles
What do I even say?
The wedding was lovely. Hard. Im reminded again that my brain and body dont work right and its exhausting to explain to people that mean well when they say "but you lookfine!" That no, i am not.
I dont have energy to engage with people right now.
Writimg on my phone again so spelling and grammar are going to be interesting.
If i can get my legs to work my mom is going to help me start packing today.
I thought about what kind of apology i would like to hear but it never got that far, more snide comments, and I am done. Its just logistics now.
It does remain to be seen whether Jonno will look for a place for us,whether he will find one, or whether i will stay at my parents or wherever by myself until i move away.
I just need to accept that I dont have a home anymore. Just places I sleep. Try to sleep, at least. Wish i could detach my legs.
I am exhausted with doctors. I am exhausted with the whole bay area. I am so bitter anout what this place is doingto people. I tried to take the bus home yesterday and the guy at the convenience store in the bus station wanted to charge me a dollar just to get change for a five for my bus fare, so I kept walking, legs on fire, sobbing on the sidewalk in this place that used to feel so familiar.
Wherever you go there you are I guess.
The wedding was lovely. Hard. Im reminded again that my brain and body dont work right and its exhausting to explain to people that mean well when they say "but you lookfine!" That no, i am not.
I dont have energy to engage with people right now.
Writimg on my phone again so spelling and grammar are going to be interesting.
If i can get my legs to work my mom is going to help me start packing today.
I thought about what kind of apology i would like to hear but it never got that far, more snide comments, and I am done. Its just logistics now.
It does remain to be seen whether Jonno will look for a place for us,whether he will find one, or whether i will stay at my parents or wherever by myself until i move away.
I just need to accept that I dont have a home anymore. Just places I sleep. Try to sleep, at least. Wish i could detach my legs.
I am exhausted with doctors. I am exhausted with the whole bay area. I am so bitter anout what this place is doingto people. I tried to take the bus home yesterday and the guy at the convenience store in the bus station wanted to charge me a dollar just to get change for a five for my bus fare, so I kept walking, legs on fire, sobbing on the sidewalk in this place that used to feel so familiar.
Wherever you go there you are I guess.