Just Short of Positive.

[shallippo]

Went to work tonight. Came right back home. Sara (other waitress) didn't need me. Corey should have known she wouldn't, shouldn't have scheduled the shift. I couldn't have cared less. I was on this bizar energy kick on the way down and on the way up - full of life, “ain’t nothing gonna break my stride” sort of thing. This happened a while back too… not like it’s very rare for me to feel positive… but this isn’t just positivity… it’s more like hyperactivity… I feel this excess of energy coursing through my veins… like I could sprint fast as the wind down the street and not grow tired. I'm very confident, but not in a "everyone will like me" sort of way. More a "I could start talking at hyperspeed to this complete stranger and there's a decent chance they'd be amused, but I really wouldn't care either way" sort of way. It’s definitely not negative… but it’s not particularly positive… something just short of positive... what’s a word for that? Brings to mind the image of someone standing tippy toe on the very edge of a precipice, leaning outwards at an inhuman angle, any mortal being would have lost balance and fallen by now, so there is something unnaturally amazing about it, and yet, this person has no ability to fly, if they took the tiniest of jumps, if their feet lost contact with the cliff edge for a millisecond they would simply continue in the direction of their head first angle and fall.

I’m sure this image has clarified things perfectly. Now I need just need a word for it.