new

[shallippo]

-I-
This churning disquiet
A desperate sort of passion
Without direction
Without release
Change, please, change
I need, I need
What? What need? What change?
I’m surging forward
Towards nothing
Away from overwhelming unease
But with no where to go
I’m immobile
The push only within
As an untranslated pain
Pain into passion
Passion for something better
For change
What change? What do I need?
No direction, No release
Leaves me desperate

-II-
In this churning disquiet
The cause of an uncustomary desire
For someone who has power
Over me
Seemingly preternatural
Where, by putting a hand on my shoulder
They can cause the churning to quit
The confusion to fall quiet
And in the stillness
Somehow
I’ll emerge
Me
Unclouded and clear

-III-
When I called you
That was the state I was in
Ready to spill over
Or simply flee
The undeciphered pain
Inhabiting, driving my body
Somewhere
The middle of our conversation
I noted - I was completely calm
No better description than to say
I felt an absolute stillness
Which, as I though on it
Ran even deeper
Than I though my peace could run
My preternatural power
Found