The truth hurts
What I can't stand most in life is having to realize the truth about everything. The truth of the things that have happened, of things that are still happening, and the truth of the things that will happen. Realizing how different everything in life could be is so hard. Even though I wonder how it would have been if some things hadn't happened, However I am glad that they did and wouldn't change them for anything. Every time something doesn't go the way you want it to, it always makes you stronger for the next dissapointment. Everyone really does learn from their mistakes(in one life time or another) and from other people's mistakes as well. I have learned that no matter what happens in life, I can never give up even though I have tried and I have one and only one person to thank for that. I have to live with what goes on, and deal with all the bad things in life. No matter how hard it is, I have to keep fighting for what I believe is right, my sexuality,my sperituallity. I have to stay alive to help others make it through their hard times just as someone has done for me. To remind them that there is always someone there for them, even though it may seem there isn't. I had to go through that, and am happy that I am still here,still alive, though at times I can get really depressed. I guess it's a good thing I am still here. I have saved a life and helped make someone's day better by just giving them a simple smile.
For me, the hardest part of my life is realizing that there are so many people that say they care about me, and will be there when I need them. But then when the time comes when I need all the support I can get, there is only one person there to help me make it through all the pain and depression.He seems to be the only true friend that I have. Always there for me when I need someone to be and I know He always will be. But the bad part is that He is only one person. When I need a friend, all my other friends leave. They don't keep true to their word that they will always be there when I need them. Or they don't come around or call till they need something of me. I don't really understand why they do this. Every time I try to turn to them for support, they turn away and ignore me. I have one friend that will stay by my side when all the others turn away. But why only one? Aren't friends supposed to stay with you when you need them? Not stab you in the back and twist the knife. Maybe they are just people who want someone to be there for them, but when you need them to be there for you, they leave. I still don't understand why. Maybe there is something wrong with me. It is sad cuz this one friend of mine lives in another time zone on another contanent.
Empty words and broken promises.
This one person, My one friend, He has a life just as complicated as mine and with the six hour time differnce, He can not always be around to save, to help, to hug me so what do it do now?? What do I do when I am five feet away from a fast moving train...I can't live on the computer,
~Shallamar~