Column #3
Question:
Dear Shaal Mayan-
I have a problem and I hope you have some advice. You see, my best friend, whom I care about very much, recently got involved with another friend of mine. And I-I-I was happy for them. I really was. I-I didn't really want to think about... um... their personal activities, but... well, they seemed to be happy, and so I was happy too. My best friend has lost so much in the past few years. I was relieved that something good had happened to him for once.
But it didn't last for very long. It never does. Since those first weeks, so many things have gotten in the way... and there's been so much sadness and anger and betrayal. I wish my friends would just sit down and talk to each other without shouting. I wish I didn't have to watch them hurt each other. I wish I could sit down and tell them what I think- that maybe all of this is just their way of trying to avoid the real issue- and try to help them through this, but I don't want to give them advice unless they ask for it.
What should I do?
Sincerely,
Stuck in the Middle
Answer:
Dear "Stuck in the Middle",
The solution to this problem is easier than you may have thought. You say you are "stuck in the middle". Contrary to what you may think, this is a step in the right direction. You must now go a step further and become a bridge between your two friends. You may do this by extensive Minbari meditation - otherwise, you will not be properly enlightened! Ohoho.
Once you feel level-headed and ready to tackle the issue (and I'm sure you will with even the slightest help of the Enlightened), invite your best friend's former lover for flarn and tea in your quarters...while your best friend is there. They may shout at each other, but if you begin some chants and concentrate your enlightened energy, they'll be sure to calm down and talk rationally. And if they don't, surely they will bond whilst trying to hurt/silence you. Good luck!
Neech sak schneck slem ba,
Shall Mayan
Dear Shaal Mayan-
I have a problem and I hope you have some advice. You see, my best friend, whom I care about very much, recently got involved with another friend of mine. And I-I-I was happy for them. I really was. I-I didn't really want to think about... um... their personal activities, but... well, they seemed to be happy, and so I was happy too. My best friend has lost so much in the past few years. I was relieved that something good had happened to him for once.
But it didn't last for very long. It never does. Since those first weeks, so many things have gotten in the way... and there's been so much sadness and anger and betrayal. I wish my friends would just sit down and talk to each other without shouting. I wish I didn't have to watch them hurt each other. I wish I could sit down and tell them what I think- that maybe all of this is just their way of trying to avoid the real issue- and try to help them through this, but I don't want to give them advice unless they ask for it.
What should I do?
Sincerely,
Stuck in the Middle
Answer:
Dear "Stuck in the Middle",
The solution to this problem is easier than you may have thought. You say you are "stuck in the middle". Contrary to what you may think, this is a step in the right direction. You must now go a step further and become a bridge between your two friends. You may do this by extensive Minbari meditation - otherwise, you will not be properly enlightened! Ohoho.
Once you feel level-headed and ready to tackle the issue (and I'm sure you will with even the slightest help of the Enlightened), invite your best friend's former lover for flarn and tea in your quarters...while your best friend is there. They may shout at each other, but if you begin some chants and concentrate your enlightened energy, they'll be sure to calm down and talk rationally. And if they don't, surely they will bond whilst trying to hurt/silence you. Good luck!
Neech sak schneck slem ba,
Shall Mayan