"If you haven't noticed a difference between men & women, you must be very unobservant."
Today I learned that the quickest way to get people to stop talking to you at a computer science conference is to mention that you're not only a computer scientist, but also an English major.
Sometimes this is a useful tool.
The last fourteen hours have been constant sensory overload. Immediately upon arriving in San Diego, I dropped my bags in the hotel and rushed off to a meeting for the scholarship recipients where, according to the email telling me of the meeting, we would "begin to make friendships that will last the rest of our lives!" There I met all kinds of people who kept asking me what my specialty was, and I realized with a sense of impending doom that I could not simply answer "Computer Science" in a conference full of computer scientists.
My adviser asked me a similar question the other day; we were discussing a branch of CS that I have come to realize that I'm not particularly attracted to, and he quite reasonably asked me what areas do interest me. It seems like it should be such an easy question, but I haven't a clue. It's all very well to be able to say that I like the problem-solving aspects of CS (prevalent in all aspects of the field) and being able to create things that are incredibly useful, but that doesn't narrow anything down. I told him that I really enjoyed the course I took on databases and the course I took on software design, but afterwards I realized that those are the only two electives I've been able to take, and it's not necessarily indicative of strong interest in those particular fields. I just don't feel that I've had enough exposure to be able to know my interests.
It would be nice if that uncertainty excused me from the obligation of talking to potential employers about my interests.
I spent the day alternating between attending lectures that made me feel all empowered and excited, and talking to the people manning the booths of potential employers, which made me feel inadequate and sad. They did give me some exciting toys, though, mostly exciting in the way of being funny, rather than of being of particular use or interest. The companies are trying to cater their give-aways to women, which is amusing, if bordering on offensive: Yahoo! gave us compact mirrors, Google gave us chapstick, Microsoft gave us lipstick, etc.
A large portion of the day was spent discussing ways to bring more women into computer science. This did not surprise me, but it did make me uncomfortable. It is a problem that needs to be addressed; the number of women in computer science has been steadily decreasing, and the number of women who enter college with an interest in computer science has been reduced to the same number that it was at in the 1970s. Unfortunately, discussing this all the time makes me feel far less like a computer scientist and more like a woman in computer science. It's a fine thing to be, but I want to be able to feel like a bog-standard computer scientist sometimes. It also makes me feel very pressured, as though I must both be wildly successful and utterly commited to CS. Go forth and multiply; evangelize and expand; do not contemplate disloyalty to your chosen profession, lest you betray your gender and the entire race by failing to bring the feminine perspective into the sciences. Be courageous -- which is a phrase that reminds me of the British television show Yes, Minister, in which the politicians could always be convinced not to do something by being told that it would be a "courageous thing to do." Who wants to be courageous?
/rant
Microsoft, like many other companies, gave me a ballpoint pen today. The exciting thing about this pen is that it's clear and emits multicolored light when you click the top of the pen. It is very distracting, in a shiny sort of way. I took it out to show it to Debbie this evening when we were settling down to do homework -- and it was then that we realized that although it was easy to have it make pretty colors, we could not figure out how to make it function as a pen. Aha! That makes sense! we said. It is from Microsoft! Flashy, not functional.
My favorite quotes today:
"Why on earth do parents continue to name their children John Smith? Come on, you have nine months to come up with something. I suppose we can't really make a law that all children be named using a unique identifier. But I think we should."
Radia Perlman
"A definition is a set of words that pedantic people can argue about to debate whether a particular case fits or doesn't fit."
Radia Perlman, again
Sometimes this is a useful tool.
The last fourteen hours have been constant sensory overload. Immediately upon arriving in San Diego, I dropped my bags in the hotel and rushed off to a meeting for the scholarship recipients where, according to the email telling me of the meeting, we would "begin to make friendships that will last the rest of our lives!" There I met all kinds of people who kept asking me what my specialty was, and I realized with a sense of impending doom that I could not simply answer "Computer Science" in a conference full of computer scientists.
My adviser asked me a similar question the other day; we were discussing a branch of CS that I have come to realize that I'm not particularly attracted to, and he quite reasonably asked me what areas do interest me. It seems like it should be such an easy question, but I haven't a clue. It's all very well to be able to say that I like the problem-solving aspects of CS (prevalent in all aspects of the field) and being able to create things that are incredibly useful, but that doesn't narrow anything down. I told him that I really enjoyed the course I took on databases and the course I took on software design, but afterwards I realized that those are the only two electives I've been able to take, and it's not necessarily indicative of strong interest in those particular fields. I just don't feel that I've had enough exposure to be able to know my interests.
It would be nice if that uncertainty excused me from the obligation of talking to potential employers about my interests.
I spent the day alternating between attending lectures that made me feel all empowered and excited, and talking to the people manning the booths of potential employers, which made me feel inadequate and sad. They did give me some exciting toys, though, mostly exciting in the way of being funny, rather than of being of particular use or interest. The companies are trying to cater their give-aways to women, which is amusing, if bordering on offensive: Yahoo! gave us compact mirrors, Google gave us chapstick, Microsoft gave us lipstick, etc.
A large portion of the day was spent discussing ways to bring more women into computer science. This did not surprise me, but it did make me uncomfortable. It is a problem that needs to be addressed; the number of women in computer science has been steadily decreasing, and the number of women who enter college with an interest in computer science has been reduced to the same number that it was at in the 1970s. Unfortunately, discussing this all the time makes me feel far less like a computer scientist and more like a woman in computer science. It's a fine thing to be, but I want to be able to feel like a bog-standard computer scientist sometimes. It also makes me feel very pressured, as though I must both be wildly successful and utterly commited to CS. Go forth and multiply; evangelize and expand; do not contemplate disloyalty to your chosen profession, lest you betray your gender and the entire race by failing to bring the feminine perspective into the sciences. Be courageous -- which is a phrase that reminds me of the British television show Yes, Minister, in which the politicians could always be convinced not to do something by being told that it would be a "courageous thing to do." Who wants to be courageous?
/rant
Microsoft, like many other companies, gave me a ballpoint pen today. The exciting thing about this pen is that it's clear and emits multicolored light when you click the top of the pen. It is very distracting, in a shiny sort of way. I took it out to show it to Debbie this evening when we were settling down to do homework -- and it was then that we realized that although it was easy to have it make pretty colors, we could not figure out how to make it function as a pen. Aha! That makes sense! we said. It is from Microsoft! Flashy, not functional.
My favorite quotes today:
"Why on earth do parents continue to name their children John Smith? Come on, you have nine months to come up with something. I suppose we can't really make a law that all children be named using a unique identifier. But I think we should."
Radia Perlman
"A definition is a set of words that pedantic people can argue about to debate whether a particular case fits or doesn't fit."
Radia Perlman, again