Our Hammock
I wrote this two years ago and got critiqued on it. I applied some of those improvments but now I think I'm writing it more maturely (haha, i'm sure in another two years I'll look back on it and find a better way yet to write it). Maybe through out the years I'll rewrite this poem, it'll be my testiment in a way to my maturity, improvement, and a window into where I was at that time. I'll probably still revise this particular one more though. Reading the original this is much better.
What do you think Minx? Any suggestions?
Our Hammock
Fondly I gaze upon you,
in the backyard,
stretched out in our hammock.
Behind the privacy of our fence,
your serenity calls to me.
Your eyes closed,
a subdued smile across your lips,
Waiting.
Through the open window’s screen
I hear you humming,
Making calmness fall upon me,
And excitement to rise.
Walking out the door
I’m sure you can hear,
My bubbling anticipation
of being with you.
You open your beautiful blue eyes,
resting them on mine,
In them I see blatant love.
You’re grinning “my grin.”
Silent teasing, affection,
Like a playful kiss or cuddling at noon.
Your subtle earthy scent meets me,
mixing perfectly with the dewy grass
I pad across in my bare feet.
Purposely I inhale,
knowing this scent will always have connotations of fondness.
Of you.
I love the early morning, day off, raw you,
Brown bed head plagued hair,
makes me giggle. It looks perfect,
like your early morning stubble,
You adorn faded jeans and a sweatshirt,
No shoes.
On the ground I spy a folded throw,
Knowing it’s for me.
You temporarily place one foot on the ground,
Steadying our swaying hammock as I board.
Mmm, I’m now here with you in our hammock:
Your feet are warming my damp ones,
Our legs lightly tangled,
My torso overlapping yours,
We rise and fall together, breathing in time.
Your arms that immediately secured me to yourself
Are now relaxed as one rests across my back,
The other on my arm,
your hand absently caressing it,
My head rests right beneath the crook if your neck.
This is authentic elation.
We easily talk about everything,
your tenor voice contrasting the bird’s early songs,
Comfortable lulls punctuate the humid morning air,
Lifting my head I look at you,
you look back.
The baby sun’s rays grace you,
everything is so natural.
So right,
on time.
You know every part of me,
You give me every part of you,
And still. I could lay here looking into your eyes for endless moments.
Your bring your hand gently to my cheek,
Our eyes still locked,
Your face inches from mine,
You softly say “Hi,”
A smile immediately graces my lips,
Followed by your kiss.
Compassionate, genuine,
Then,
Passion.
The exact way we used to
restrain ourselves from doing.
It wasn’t time then,
But now, we’re joined together,
Never to be broken, never torn.
I purely, wholly, truly
Love you,
I’ll always re-choose you,
We’ll always just “be.”
Together.
Right now, I’m enjoying being with you
In our hammock.