Work.
Okay so i just posted all i've done downstairs today and it somehow just now the page just reloaded by itself and erased it, so i'll summerize: i've been downstairs since 8 to 3 working. Hard work, we tore down the stairs, primed all the walls and puddied them, caried the stone outside to dump it, had to load the van with all the wood from the stairscase (not just the stairs but everything supporting it--alot of wood) and unload it on the burning pile (twice) and among other things. My neck/shoulders/back is hurting.
In reference to the last post, things are always worst the day of so lets lleave that there. I haven't written anything in a while so i decided to use my current life situation as a topic.
You and him (not Him)
My heart rips out my chest,
simultaneously tears are jerked out of me.
As I sit and listen as the heart wrenching story is told
so matter of factly and cold.
I sob, then weep.
Feeling as if I was jerked out of a sleep
and awakened to my nightmare of you.
Who are you?
I haven't claimed the luxury of knowing for a long time,.
I look at you and see somebody,
but not who I want to.
I can't actually claim he's a stranger,
because I've known him now for a couple years.
Every time I see him, I'm see less of who I want to know.
I can't get to know this person,
he refuses to open to me.
But I refuse to give up on who I know you can be
I refuse to let go of the person you are with Him.
But I know, not matter how persistently I renounce.
It won't change him.
Only you can.