A letter for you
I don’t’ know why, but I feel like crying. I look outside and I see life, but once I get in I’m overpowered by the darkness. Confusion is what I feel; deliriousness is my sense of direction. Every so often a person will have their ups and downs, right and wrongs, gains and losses. I’m not sure how but you managed to pick yourself right up in a matter of time. I know it’s hard but I promise it’s all worth it. Don’t worry my dear, you’re strong and you’ll get through this.
Please stop crying, I hate seeing you this way. I know you wonder sometimes why things happen to you the way they are happening. And to be honest, I don’t know why. I don’t have the answers for you although I wish I did. Then things would be simpler now wouldn’t it? But I can guarantee you that it is for a reason. It’s all part of God’s Great Big Plan. Although, when you think about it, this is all part of the excitement, right? Not knowing. This is all part of life and living. I only hope that you will NEVER EVER forget that. Because forgetting is like losing hope and faith. And we both know how much you hate it when people lose either or. It’s not the greatest feeling. You feel so helpless and… useless. As if you never really had a purpose for living. But please rest assure that your purpose is greater than anything you can ever imagine. People need you. The world needs you.
Take a breather if you need to. I know sometimes with everything being thrown at you, you feel like your being drowned as you try to swim this big race. I know you feel as though people are pulling on your legs so that you can get disoriented or because they don’t want you to finish at all. They only do this because they’re jealous. Look to the sidelines. Can’t you see all the support you have? Can’t you see your family and friends applauding you? Even the strangers, they’re waiting too, cheering for you to finish so that they may finally meet this truly amazing person.
A year ago you never would have guessed that you’d end up the way you are now or even end up where you are. I know, I was there. Of course you dealt with the usual opposite-sex-problem as to be expected at the age you’re at. Oblivious to your surroundings; pretending to see the dangers when really, you were unaware. It’s not your fault though. You were brought up in a society where people only thought of the expected. Such situations were rare and, 90% of the time, were impossible. And then it hit you one sunny afternoon. And oh how your world seemed to crumble into pieces. What-if questions formulated like the bubbles from water boiling. Tears blurred your vision, and then slowly dripped down from you eyes like an overflowing bath tub. How I wish I knew what was coming so that I can protect your fragile little heart. How I wish I knew what was coming so that I may prevent it. Then maybe, somehow, God permitting, things wouldn’t seem so bad again.
Do you remember? After that, everything seemed to get even worse. You listened to the people booing you in the crowd. When you finished the race last place, you pushed everyone aside. You didn’t let them help when you know you needed it. You refused to listen to them. Even me. You locked me up. I used to bang on the doors for you to let me out. There were nights when you cried yourself to sleep and all I could do was pray for you. There were days when you watched yourself cry in front of the mirror while I watched, crying, seeing your pain and feeling it. You lost everything good you had. Or so you thought you did. The friends you had slowly started to drift away. And you realized many things. You saw who your true friends are; those who did not give up on you no matter how stubborn and foolish you were. You realized that you will always have a family; those who love you and truly and deeply care for you. You realized these people never gave up the hope that you lost when the crowd booed. They never lost the hope you lost when you came in last place at the race. Because they knew, they knew YOUR race still wasn’t over. You were still running it. Out of breathe for the first time. And when you turned around while you were leaving, bow headed, you saw your fans right behind you and you let them applaud. You realized that no matter how bad things were, you always had them to fall back on. They were there to share your accomplishments and the good times. So of course, they’ll be there when you’re feeling down.
Your eyes weren’t as opened as you thought they were and nobody blames you. Although I know very well you blame yourself for not seeing the signs. Any of them as a matter of fact. Because God knows, it was there right in front of you. When someone is in the dark, they can’t see anything, even the little light that shines far away. You ignore it until one day, you realize, you can never give up hope. This life changing experience only strengthened you, I can see it. You slowly, yet surely, let the people you did not want to listen to back in your life.
I guess what I’m trying to say is hold on. Hold on to the people that you have right in front of you. Keep your eyes open, please. Because you never know, you might miss the most important thing that you have and not realize it until it’s gone; out of your sight, forever. Hold on to every bit of strength and courage you have because it’s still in you. As much as you think you don’t have it, even though people see it in you all the time, you actually do. Don’t be afraid. Let every goodness in you shine through all your imperfections. Let all the strength, wisdom, courage, and even the love you have within you just come out. Most of all hold on to the hope. No matter how bad things seem, never give up to wish to see and live another glorious day. When your hanging on to that cliff with just one hand that slowly starts to slip, do not despair. Take all that power and strength you inherited from your mother, and her mother, and her mother’s mother, and just keep holding on. You’ll either pull yourself up own your own, or someone will hear your cries and save you. And when that person comes, don’t be afraid to let them help. Put your pride aside, please. This is the only way you’ll make it through.
You spent enough time hiding behind closed doors. You spent so much time withdrawing yourself from everyone and everything that you forgot to count your blessing. Use everything you’ve experienced and let it be known to the world. Don’t write it off, write it down. Sing it to them. Preach it to them. Teach them. Let them in your heart. Especially those you care about. Tell them you story. And please, do not be afraid anymore. I’m here. They’re here. We’re here. Those people you care about, those people who love you will be with you after all is said and done. Never forget the strength you were born with and use it. No matter how small you are and how deceiving that is, you hold so much more than you or even anyone can imagine.
If ever you need me or you think you’ve misplaced me, look deeply at your reflection, and I promise you’ll find me.
Love always,
Me
Please stop crying, I hate seeing you this way. I know you wonder sometimes why things happen to you the way they are happening. And to be honest, I don’t know why. I don’t have the answers for you although I wish I did. Then things would be simpler now wouldn’t it? But I can guarantee you that it is for a reason. It’s all part of God’s Great Big Plan. Although, when you think about it, this is all part of the excitement, right? Not knowing. This is all part of life and living. I only hope that you will NEVER EVER forget that. Because forgetting is like losing hope and faith. And we both know how much you hate it when people lose either or. It’s not the greatest feeling. You feel so helpless and… useless. As if you never really had a purpose for living. But please rest assure that your purpose is greater than anything you can ever imagine. People need you. The world needs you.
Take a breather if you need to. I know sometimes with everything being thrown at you, you feel like your being drowned as you try to swim this big race. I know you feel as though people are pulling on your legs so that you can get disoriented or because they don’t want you to finish at all. They only do this because they’re jealous. Look to the sidelines. Can’t you see all the support you have? Can’t you see your family and friends applauding you? Even the strangers, they’re waiting too, cheering for you to finish so that they may finally meet this truly amazing person.
A year ago you never would have guessed that you’d end up the way you are now or even end up where you are. I know, I was there. Of course you dealt with the usual opposite-sex-problem as to be expected at the age you’re at. Oblivious to your surroundings; pretending to see the dangers when really, you were unaware. It’s not your fault though. You were brought up in a society where people only thought of the expected. Such situations were rare and, 90% of the time, were impossible. And then it hit you one sunny afternoon. And oh how your world seemed to crumble into pieces. What-if questions formulated like the bubbles from water boiling. Tears blurred your vision, and then slowly dripped down from you eyes like an overflowing bath tub. How I wish I knew what was coming so that I can protect your fragile little heart. How I wish I knew what was coming so that I may prevent it. Then maybe, somehow, God permitting, things wouldn’t seem so bad again.
Do you remember? After that, everything seemed to get even worse. You listened to the people booing you in the crowd. When you finished the race last place, you pushed everyone aside. You didn’t let them help when you know you needed it. You refused to listen to them. Even me. You locked me up. I used to bang on the doors for you to let me out. There were nights when you cried yourself to sleep and all I could do was pray for you. There were days when you watched yourself cry in front of the mirror while I watched, crying, seeing your pain and feeling it. You lost everything good you had. Or so you thought you did. The friends you had slowly started to drift away. And you realized many things. You saw who your true friends are; those who did not give up on you no matter how stubborn and foolish you were. You realized that you will always have a family; those who love you and truly and deeply care for you. You realized these people never gave up the hope that you lost when the crowd booed. They never lost the hope you lost when you came in last place at the race. Because they knew, they knew YOUR race still wasn’t over. You were still running it. Out of breathe for the first time. And when you turned around while you were leaving, bow headed, you saw your fans right behind you and you let them applaud. You realized that no matter how bad things were, you always had them to fall back on. They were there to share your accomplishments and the good times. So of course, they’ll be there when you’re feeling down.
Your eyes weren’t as opened as you thought they were and nobody blames you. Although I know very well you blame yourself for not seeing the signs. Any of them as a matter of fact. Because God knows, it was there right in front of you. When someone is in the dark, they can’t see anything, even the little light that shines far away. You ignore it until one day, you realize, you can never give up hope. This life changing experience only strengthened you, I can see it. You slowly, yet surely, let the people you did not want to listen to back in your life.
I guess what I’m trying to say is hold on. Hold on to the people that you have right in front of you. Keep your eyes open, please. Because you never know, you might miss the most important thing that you have and not realize it until it’s gone; out of your sight, forever. Hold on to every bit of strength and courage you have because it’s still in you. As much as you think you don’t have it, even though people see it in you all the time, you actually do. Don’t be afraid. Let every goodness in you shine through all your imperfections. Let all the strength, wisdom, courage, and even the love you have within you just come out. Most of all hold on to the hope. No matter how bad things seem, never give up to wish to see and live another glorious day. When your hanging on to that cliff with just one hand that slowly starts to slip, do not despair. Take all that power and strength you inherited from your mother, and her mother, and her mother’s mother, and just keep holding on. You’ll either pull yourself up own your own, or someone will hear your cries and save you. And when that person comes, don’t be afraid to let them help. Put your pride aside, please. This is the only way you’ll make it through.
You spent enough time hiding behind closed doors. You spent so much time withdrawing yourself from everyone and everything that you forgot to count your blessing. Use everything you’ve experienced and let it be known to the world. Don’t write it off, write it down. Sing it to them. Preach it to them. Teach them. Let them in your heart. Especially those you care about. Tell them you story. And please, do not be afraid anymore. I’m here. They’re here. We’re here. Those people you care about, those people who love you will be with you after all is said and done. Never forget the strength you were born with and use it. No matter how small you are and how deceiving that is, you hold so much more than you or even anyone can imagine.
If ever you need me or you think you’ve misplaced me, look deeply at your reflection, and I promise you’ll find me.
Love always,
Me