(no subject)
Getting myself into a funk.
My boss, an active co-owner of the store where I work, a jovial, albeit goofy, Brooklyn Jewish man, is running for the local city council in the next election. He nudged me and said something along the lines of "You're gonna vote for me, right?" In response, I didn't say "but of course, Ed!" as so many other co-workers had said. Instead, I asked him his political views. He averted the question by saying something along the lines of, "my motto is ' A Chicken Wing in Every Mouth'!" and wandered away. I can understand the want to not get into political discussion with one he employs. But it was still frustrating. I had my suspicions that his political views are very different from my own, and facebook confirmed that his political views are extremely conservative (where as mine are very liberal).
At work, I greatly enjoy his presence. He's a silly guy who makes me laugh and teaches me how to say various things in Hebrew and tells me I'm a fantastic employee, and sings Broadway musicals with me. But as his employee, I wonder what he truly thinks of me, being the super conservative that he is. His "quote" on his facebook profile is "teach a man to fish..." Does he secretly look at me as a failure? I'm twenty eight years old, making minimum wage at his establishment, and he doesn't offer insurance to his employees. Yet, he is against public healthcare. Granted, the majority of his employees are part-time college students, and most of them are covered by their parents' insurance and whatnot.
I guess I feel like I'm torn. I want to talk politics with him, and ask him about everything I've talked about in this post. I want to ask if he thinks of me as a person wanting a free handout, and to know what his true level of respect for me is. I want to understand what he thinks of my art skills and how I could utilize them in a way to better my self. He wants to "teach a man to fish", right? I know he sees my talent, as I'm always the person he turns to when it comes to sign-making and the like. But does he see it as a useless talent that deserves nothing more than minimum wage and no insurance? I want to show him my broken teeth, and ask him if he were in my shoes, what he would do. How would he deal with my position? What would he do to give himself a better life than the one I'm currently living?
And yet I know that I don't want to get into this at all with him, because he is, after all, my boss, and though I don't think it'd be a situation in which my job would be at stake, I also don't want to have to dread coming to work and facing him. But now, as it is, I'm already dreading coming to work and facing him, because I'm stuck with these thoughts and questions.
Unrelated, but much more important:
one of my favorite uncles has stage 4 cancer in his vocal chords and local lymph nodes. Yesterday, he had a tracheotomy and a feeding tube inserted into his stomach. Today he gets his central IV line for the chemo treatments. The doctor is cautiously hopeful that it hasn't spread elsewhere yet.
I'm still dating Landon and he's wonderful. I'm a little bummed that our work schedules clash every single day. And outside of work, he's deeply involved in two bands, and therefor my days off mostly revolve around his shows and things of that nature. I really like seeing him perform. But sometimes I wish I could just have a quiet evening off with him, and not have to worry about the other things that always pop up and prevent me from being able to just relax and have fun, one on one with him, outside of the six hours that we lay in bed together, asleep.
Sorry for the bummy post. Or whatever. It's not like anyone actually reads this thing anymore.
My boss, an active co-owner of the store where I work, a jovial, albeit goofy, Brooklyn Jewish man, is running for the local city council in the next election. He nudged me and said something along the lines of "You're gonna vote for me, right?" In response, I didn't say "but of course, Ed!" as so many other co-workers had said. Instead, I asked him his political views. He averted the question by saying something along the lines of, "my motto is ' A Chicken Wing in Every Mouth'!" and wandered away. I can understand the want to not get into political discussion with one he employs. But it was still frustrating. I had my suspicions that his political views are very different from my own, and facebook confirmed that his political views are extremely conservative (where as mine are very liberal).
At work, I greatly enjoy his presence. He's a silly guy who makes me laugh and teaches me how to say various things in Hebrew and tells me I'm a fantastic employee, and sings Broadway musicals with me. But as his employee, I wonder what he truly thinks of me, being the super conservative that he is. His "quote" on his facebook profile is "teach a man to fish..." Does he secretly look at me as a failure? I'm twenty eight years old, making minimum wage at his establishment, and he doesn't offer insurance to his employees. Yet, he is against public healthcare. Granted, the majority of his employees are part-time college students, and most of them are covered by their parents' insurance and whatnot.
I guess I feel like I'm torn. I want to talk politics with him, and ask him about everything I've talked about in this post. I want to ask if he thinks of me as a person wanting a free handout, and to know what his true level of respect for me is. I want to understand what he thinks of my art skills and how I could utilize them in a way to better my self. He wants to "teach a man to fish", right? I know he sees my talent, as I'm always the person he turns to when it comes to sign-making and the like. But does he see it as a useless talent that deserves nothing more than minimum wage and no insurance? I want to show him my broken teeth, and ask him if he were in my shoes, what he would do. How would he deal with my position? What would he do to give himself a better life than the one I'm currently living?
And yet I know that I don't want to get into this at all with him, because he is, after all, my boss, and though I don't think it'd be a situation in which my job would be at stake, I also don't want to have to dread coming to work and facing him. But now, as it is, I'm already dreading coming to work and facing him, because I'm stuck with these thoughts and questions.
Unrelated, but much more important:
one of my favorite uncles has stage 4 cancer in his vocal chords and local lymph nodes. Yesterday, he had a tracheotomy and a feeding tube inserted into his stomach. Today he gets his central IV line for the chemo treatments. The doctor is cautiously hopeful that it hasn't spread elsewhere yet.
I'm still dating Landon and he's wonderful. I'm a little bummed that our work schedules clash every single day. And outside of work, he's deeply involved in two bands, and therefor my days off mostly revolve around his shows and things of that nature. I really like seeing him perform. But sometimes I wish I could just have a quiet evening off with him, and not have to worry about the other things that always pop up and prevent me from being able to just relax and have fun, one on one with him, outside of the six hours that we lay in bed together, asleep.
Sorry for the bummy post. Or whatever. It's not like anyone actually reads this thing anymore.